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View Full Version : [18M] Approaching a potential relationship with this girl [19F]


Lexglore
July 2nd, 2018, 12:56 AM
I decided to try this week-long improv course, I've now been to it for three days and have started to try and connect with people. Me being the youngest, I was a bit unsure at the start, but then I started to get comfortable with socialising (improv breaks down a lot of barriers actually). The other "youngsters" were three other 20-year-olds. And the one I connected with the most was a girl (19 right now, turning 20 this year) that I talked to a bit since we traveled together on the way home. I just feel like we could talk about a lot of different stuff, she was nice, funny and not bad looking. And improv was kind of a venue to honestly talk about a lot of things, for example there was a rule that you weren't allowed to reveal what you do outside of improv which results in a lot of interesting conversations. But at the same time it's hard to get to know someone in just a week and no matter if I would to ask her out or keep her as a friend I wanted at least like to keep in contact after the improv-course.

I'm just unsure whether my feelings are genuine or more of a overreaction, I tend to get very latched on to people, especially girls. It could have to do with my low-ish self esteem, also I've never been in a relationship before.

At the last day of the course I decided to ask to get her contacts, I gathered up the courage I needed and just waited for a moment when we were alone so I could ask her. But before I even realized it she went on a train headed in a different direction (she wasn't going the same direction as me that day).

I spent today being sad but, mostly very frustrated and disappointed, not at her but at myself. I was too careful and afraid, so I never took the chance. I didn't even have her last name or anything so I couldn't contact her. I could probably find her if did some searching around but I don't wanna be a creep.

And then she added me on Facebook. It turned out that one of the members in our group that collected all of our names had sent friend suggestions to us all so we could keep in contact. I knew that he'd done this but didn't think anything would come of it. It wasn't like I was special, it seems like she's already friends with some other members, but now I have a way of contacting her.

Now the question becomes if I should do something with this. What do say? I'm not really sure how convey my thoughts in a good way, I just want to get to know her more, meet he one-on-one and see where it goes from there. I don't want it to become weird but I'm not that smooth when it comes to stuff like this (I've actually never been in a relationship before). Also I probably can't see her for a while because I'm working next week and then I leave for a week next Saturday morning, but I also don't want to wait two weeks and then try to contact. I want her to know that I appreciated her company and I would like to actually spend some time with her and get to know her better.

And a final question: could a (potential) relationship between a 20 year old girl and a 18 year old guy be perceived as strange?

BlackParadePixie
July 2nd, 2018, 01:04 AM
Just send her a message saying hello. you could ask her some things like, "how have you been since the improv class?" I mean it's really not that difficult... you're way overthinking this.

Lexglore
July 2nd, 2018, 01:43 AM
Just send her a message saying hello. you could ask her some things like, "how have you been since the improv class?" I mean it's really not that difficult... you're way overthinking this.
The problem wasn't really if but how, I'm goibg away in 6 days and probably won't be able to see her in a while, should I still message her now and say "hey I'd like to spend more time with you but I can't for like 2 weeks"?

BlackParadePixie
July 2nd, 2018, 01:47 AM
The problem wasn't really if but how, I'm goibg away in 6 days and probably won't be able to see her in a while, should I still message her now and say "hey I'd like to spend more time with you but I can't for like 2 weeks"?
Why not try to set up a time to hang out before you leave? And if it becomes obvious that won't work...then just explain to her you'll be going out of town for a while...but you'd like to see her when you get back.

Lexglore
July 2nd, 2018, 03:10 AM
Why not try to set up a time to hang out before you leave? And if it becomes obvious that won't work...then just explain to her you'll be going out of town for a while...but you'd like to see her when you get back.
Yeah I guess so, the thing is she lives about 25 km or 15 miles away from me. I usually clock out at 5 pm meaning that it probably would be tricky for us to meet since it would be around 7-8 pm on a weekday, also I have to pack and prepare for going away so I'm most likely not available at Friday. But yeah I should maybe see if we could work something out at first but if that doesn't pan out just suggest that we meet after I get back.

Katie2003
July 4th, 2018, 08:45 AM
Just start a conversation and take it from there. No rules say you have to ask to get together immediately, or ever. You'll know from how she responds to your first message saying "Hi" if she's interested or not. I don't see 2 years being an issue as far as age difference.