Older Sibling with Younger Siblings

[cinderfella]

So a while ago I talked to a young member of this site. He is the bare minimum age for joining and he told me he has been constantly harassed by creeps even on this website. He also has no older siblings to help and guide through something like this.

As an older sibling with a huge gap (8 years) and having 2 parents with 1 full time job and a second part time job I feel responsible for protecting my younger bro from the horrors of the internet without limiting him growing up.

These are are rules I have for my lil bro
1. Device is restricted (usage device time in app purchases etc)
2. Can play games with chat functionality only when I'm present.
3. Needs to have 2 social media/messaging accounts 1 personal (private only irl people we know I need to be able to follow this account can share pictures go himself) share password with him 2nd alias account I have the password and can only use and post when I'm present and media used must not contain anything about him including voice clips
4. 2 e-mail addresses personal and alias I have password and he needs my approval on what he will e-mail and I am present
5. Not allowed to join message boards even similar to VT or game related

I know these are things parents are supposed to do. But our parents need to work for reasons so i have taken a extra step and do these things for my lil bro

What about you guys? How do you guide or help your younger siblings with responsible internet usage?

[Katie2003]

My parents have always made it clear to me and my big sis who is 18, that we are part of a family and therefore responsible to look out for our little sis who is 11. Both my parents work as well and me and my big sis don't mind being given that responsibility.

My big sis and me were never allowed to use the computer without mom being in the room until we were 15, and I didn't have a phone till I turned 15, which was just a couple months ago.

We watch what my little sis does, and when she wants to use the computer for something make sure she's doing it appropriately and always stay by her side.

[mick01]

I think its fine, even cool, that an older sibling wanted to care for and even be responsible for a younger sib. I disagree tho that the older sibling is making the rules. Especially since you're only 16. The parents should be making the rules. Surely they have time to do that. And then you enforce the parents rules. You're the brother, not the father.
What if he breaks one of your rules? Are you allowed to punish him? How would you punish him?
This set up has left open the real possibility of him eventually resenting you and hurting the relationship.

[cinderfella]

I think its fine, even cool, that an older sibling wanted to care for and even be responsible for a younger sib. I disagree tho that the older sibling is making the rules. Especially since you're only 16. The parents should be making the rules. Surely they have time to do that. And then you enforce the parents rules. You're the brother, not the father.
What if he breaks one of your rules? Are you allowed to punish him? How would you punish him?
This set up has left open the real possibility of him eventually resenting you and hurting the relationship.

There was resistance at first but no resentment. You see our dad isn't exactly a good role model. I guess I have to say why, well he kinda has a gambling addiction that he hasn't overcome its exactly why my parents have to work two jobs. We only have about 2 to 3 hours to see them regularly before they have to work again and when they come back they are either asleep again or hard to talk to because they are drowsy.

And I don't think age has anything to do with it coz I had to grow up real fast and be an adult at an early age. I'm the one who made the mistakes so I'm making sure my brother doesn't have to make the same.

For the punishment, well actually I'm allowed to but I don't do the belt thing or whatever fucked up stuff thats posted on this sub forum. I just take away the device or some privileges. I took this up with parents mostly my mom and for the most part they are fine with it. But to clarify they just approved or changed some of the rules but its like 85-90% me.

[amazmain]

I think that parents get blamed too much for what kids do wrong online. It is not like parents are capable of managing EVERYTHING their kid does.

[Harrier]

I think siblings should have their siblings best interests in mind. But setting rules is a little bit far imo. It really wouldn't work in my family anyway. My older sister is only 1 year older than me and my younger sister is only 1 year younger than me. So 3 of us in 3 years. Then I do have a younger bro 4 years younger but we don't boss him around much. Parents having jobs and not being present doesn't mean they can't have rules. It makes it hard to watch to see that they are being followed but my parents have rules but aren't like looking over our shoulders.

[ska8er]

U mean well but u cant b present
with him all his life. U should teach
him of all the dangers he may come
across of being online but ur setting
too many rules and it may just back
fire on u. Soon he will want to b his
own boss and will argue with u. Since
u have parents let them set rules-just
b there if he encounters any probs.

[Jake445]

With your brother being apparently 8 years old, what you do seems sensible. But you should be ready to loosen your control when he gets older. My twin sister and I have had open internet and our own laptops since we were ten years old, but we had to promise things like not to go into the deep web or torrent things or share pictures etc.
Before that, we only got to use the internet on our parent's devices with them having at least a bit of oversite.

[jamie_n5]

I think it's great to be a big bro or sis and help out the younger sibling. I do that kind of stuff with my little sister all the time. You also must realize that your brother must learn and experience things on his own and know to make the right decisions. I love helping out the younger members on here with any questions on any subject.
We all must know and realize that there are always going to be creeps and scammers on the internet so we need to keep this in mind at all times.

[cinderfella]

To clarify I'm turning 17 later this month and he just turned 9.

Hi everyone thanks for the replies. I actually agree on letting the rules loose once he gets older even giving him control over this accounts. Did not elaborate on that because well I didn't think we were gonna get that far. We have an ok relationship at this point and there is no questioning or talking back as of yet. However, I'm kinda just being overprotective mostly coz aside from the parents not being around, you have to remember in a year or two I might be doing my own thing. Because my parents have other things that preoccupy them certain simple things like this spill over the cracks.

I really don't understand why everyone is so up and arms about the rules thing is it because I'm not the parent? On another thread about internet usage or trading pics or something I forgot, everyone was over the moon praising their parents for giving a good amount of guidelines for them to follow when using the computer. Maybe I should have rephrased the rules as guidelines to make them palatable.

Again when I implemented them it wasn't perfect there was some resistance. My parents helped up a bit but eventually it was mostly on me.I did not just one day think of this without parental approval. I also think 9 is kinda young still for all those stuff. I mean if he was 11 or maybe even 10 i'll let definitely let him loose on the internet.

Of course, I warn him about the dangers of the internet. But then again he is still young so its very hard and tedious to understand the specifics of why maybe its not a good idea to use you real name as you username etc. As of the moment though he is doing fine on his own and stuff so I'm thinking what I'm doing may be effective for now.

Still open to hear some opinions on this.

[Ben7]

I think it's pretty cool that you care so much about your little brother. I would see no problem doing something like this, so long as your parents are okay with it, and if your little brother doesn't mind too much either. Just always keep it in the back of your mind that at the end of the day you're still just his brother, not his dad so don't push it too far.

My little brother and I are quite close and there's a relatively large age gap. granted our situation was different than yours but with me I also tried to protect my brother whenever I could all the time and my little brother almost never complained about anything I did or any rules I did. In our case we were close and he just listened to me and trusted me like that. Although our situation a bit different nonetheless.

[Barbara.]

I dont protect my younger brother from the web dangers as he is only just turned 3 years old,but I do care and babysit him while mom is working. And I will watch over him when he starts school and as he grows. I think that's what older siblings do for the young one.

[Jordan99]

My older brother is very protective over me and has stepped in at times when he has had concerns for or about me. Additionally, we each are very protective over our little brother who is only 6. I think it is healthy and totally normal for older siblings to look out for their little brothers and sisters. In fact, I am protective over both of my brothers, even my older brother. I don't want to see either of them get hurt and I always make myself available to them if they need advice or help. Family is very important.

[Oscar-V3.0]

So a while ago I talked to a young member of this site. He is the bare minimum age for joining and he told me he has been constantly harassed by creeps even on this website. He also has no older siblings to help and guide through something like this.

As an older sibling with a huge gap (8 years) and having 2 parents with 1 full time job and a second part time job I feel responsible for protecting my younger bro from the horrors of the internet without limiting him growing up.

These are are rules I have for my lil bro
1. Device is restricted (usage device time in app purchases etc)
2. Can play games with chat functionality only when I'm present.
3. Needs to have 2 social media/messaging accounts 1 personal (private only irl people we know I need to be able to follow this account can share pictures go himself) share password with him 2nd alias account I have the password and can only use and post when I'm present and media used must not contain anything about him including voice clips
4. 2 e-mail addresses personal and alias I have password and he needs my approval on what he will e-mail and I am present
5. Not allowed to join message boards even similar to VT or game related

I know these are things parents are supposed to do. But our parents need to work for reasons so i have taken a extra step and do these things for my lil bro

What about you guys? How do you guide or help your younger siblings with responsible internet usage?
My mum is always checking out what were doing so no need to check myself on my sibling whatsoever

Jow old is your bro btw ?

[InternetTeen]

My brother doesn't need protecting. He already knows the dangers.

[cinderfella]

My mum is always checking out what were doing so no need to check myself on my sibling whatsoever

Jow old is your bro btw ?

He is 9 and our parents work 2 jobs so they barely see us. And its harder during the summer coz we have a lot of free time by ourselves.

[Taylormade]

I'm the middle child in the family and my younger brother isn't much younger, only one year. There's nothing he hasn't seen so i don't really need to worry about him in that respect. If I was responsible for someone much younger it might be different.