Couple things

[skittlesh]

1)I’m alway so awkward at housies like I really don’t know many people that well and I’m pretty intimidated by like 80% of the school all anyone ever talks about is drugs and alcohol and really awful load iratating music and I like these people but now that it’s summer that is mostly any convocation anyone has and that’s just not my thing I can’t participate. So this makes it really awkward for me at housies cause I really enjoy the one or two I got to but like Idk people so I don’t really talk I might hang around with one or two people but I’m not really sure what I’m doing 😆

2) I feel very invisible. I wouldn’t describe myself as unpopular I just think no one is very intrested in me (due to the fact probably that I can’t join in drug convos). I have one pretty close friend and a splatter of friends from loads of different groups or cliques and many girls like me but in more aww he’s cute way. He issue is I only know one or two people in the groups so I always find it difficult when anyone else from the groups turn up. For example I spent the night at a friends house then when we drove into town we saw his close friend so he obvs said let’s go say hi. As soon as We got to him I just became compellty obsolete in the convos I tried to stay involved but it’s really hard when you just know one or two people in this group and they are all so tight. I’m hoping just by hanging out with the one dude that if our friend ship gets close enough I won’t be so bad and will feel fine talking to his other friends.

[Tom_theflash]

I'd prefer being unpopular rather than join in drug convos

[ShineintheDark]

I know it can be hard to but the best possible thing is to resist your nerves as much as possible and socialise with as many people as possible, whether it's at housies or just generally. You seem really likeable and someone will like you enough to make friends and make you feel less lonely.

[Phosphene]

skittlesh I agree that it's intimidating to just know a couple of people out of a group. The only way you'll get to know them is by talking to them, and if you don't like the topics being discussed and/or have nothing to contribute, you can initiate a conversation about something you're interested in! Sometimes an attempt to do that will fall flat, but hey, there's no harm in trying. You can also ask your friends about the people in the group they want to hang out with so you have a general idea of their personalities, interests, etc. before meeting them.

[lliam]

skittlesh - Just meet those folks you talked about and talk to them more often.
The rest will come naturally after a while.

[Ben7]

It sucks to be in that place, but perhaps as was mentioned above, you can try to start or drive a conversation with the people in your group (or entirely new people you find along the way). You can start by something like "Hey, what do you think about ______?", where the blank can be filled with pretty much anything (i.e. class, assignment, current event/news, video game, sport, etc).

[inactiveguy678]

I've been in the exact same position as you have been when I was a freshman. Trust me its not worth it trying to fit in if you are very uncomfortable with the topics being talked about. Just be yourself and don't compromise that. For me it wasn't the topic of alcohol that was the problem, it was the intention of drinking that made me feel awkward. Most of these people were just acting out rebelling or something.

My main problem was I had a lot of friends from different friend groups too. But as time went on I kinda lost touch with these friends and stopped communicating with them frequently. It was either an occasional lunch or dinner then back to not talking again.

I generally, feel invisible too it didn't help that I go bullied shortly after. Attending parties did not make me feel better or popular because it wasn't who I was.

I then realised not everybody needs to attend house parties and such. Maybe having 1 or 2 close friends could be better for you. After all, as what happened with myself, I felt having deeper intimate conversations were better than talking about random stuff that never went deeper or gave you a chance to get to know people deeper.

[skittlesh]

Thanks so much everyone one :) I do like to attend housies when it gets a bit later and everyone’s starting to fall a bit flat and keep into the deep two o’clock talks haha. The night at my friends house I mentioned was very well dull we just watched tv we didn’t really talk about much what does everyone make of that is it because it was the first time we were ever really alone together ?