Asexuality

[DiamondsGirl]

I think I'm asexual. But does asexuality even exist? I have just read a Wiki page about it and apparently it's basically unmarked territory in the field of human study. I mean, people don't know a lot about it. Even the term itself is fairly new.

Romantically, I am straight. I have an ex-boyfriend and although it didn't work out, I know I was truly in love in the first few months. I like looking at cute boys both in real life and by pictures, but I just don't get that "oh you're so hot I want to have sex with you" feeling. For me it's just like "aww you're beautiful" and that's all. People even joke I have "crazy high standards" because no matter how handsome a guy whose picture they're showing me is, I always say "yeah, he's alright".

My sex life is basically non-existent. I'm a virgin and proud. I haven't even had a first kiss yet. Not that I'm looking forward to it. I also don't know how does being horny feels like. I browse through naughty descriptions in urbandictionary just because I want to know what in the world are my guy friends talking about. I read a hentai (porn) manga (Japanese comic) just because I want to know what does porn look like. I have never tried watching one though. Also--hold your breath as I say this--I am seventeen and I have never ever masturbated. Sometimes I want to try out of curiosity, but I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt myself.

Thoughts?

[Gamma Male]

Huh. I guess it's possible the part of puberty that gives you a sex drive simply hasn't kicked in it. And if not, and you really are asexual, good. You're probably much more likely to win a Nobel Prize or become a billionaire. :D

[DiamondsGirl]

LOL really? are the odds really that small?

[ScottishCanary]

Asexuality does exist and your chances of being asexual are greater than winning the Nobel Prize or becoming a billionaire! Someone I know is asexual and is very heavily involved in the asexual community here in Scotland so it does exist. Roughly 1% of people are asexual. That may not seem a lot but in a school of 500 that means 5 asexuals!

Search Google for AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) for more info if you haven't already

[DiamondsGirl]

Hey, what do you know? I might bring home that Nobel one day :P

I read about AVEN a bit in Wiki, but with my brother around I don't feel comfortable browsing about it. Maybe tomorrow :) x

[ScottishCanary]

OK well when you feel it's safe go onto AVEN. When my friend showed me it he showed me AVENs very own Wiki with quite literally everything you ever hoped to know about asexuality! I am sure your questions will be closer to being answered.

[backjruton]

Clearly it exists or there wouldn't be a name for it. I think it's more common to be grey-A or something though, AVEN Wiki says if you "experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them" you are grey-asexual and this is the term I've been looking for for a very long time. I am a grey-homosexual by this case. I can thank Ren (WisenUpJanetWeiss) for confirming me this :D because I've known I've felt this way for a long time :) and it's made me feel much better about myself.

[Lovelife090994]

Asexuality exists, but it goes with other sexualities. Asexuality is a lack of sexual interest and the like but the person still wants romance from someone.

[Karkat]

I like looking at cute boys both in real life and by pictures, but I just don't get that "oh you're so hot I want to have sex with you" feeling. For me it's just like "aww you're beautiful" and that's all. People even joke I have "crazy high standards" because no matter how handsome a guy whose picture they're showing me is, I always say "yeah, he's alright".

I can HEAVILY relate to this- except I don't uh, find boys all that cute. ^^;;

There are major (and I do mean major) exceptions, like my boyfriend, for instance. However, I'm more attracted to females, but even then, it's the same for me.

I don't get all hot and flustered over MOST guys, and it's still pretty rare for girls.

I don't find most guys 'attractive' physically, but I find very few 'unattractive'. It's hard to explain. I find most girls 'attractive'.

HOWEVER, I AM sexual to a degree- but you definitely sound asexual.

Huh. I guess it's possible the part of puberty that gives you a sex drive simply hasn't kicked in it. And if not, and you really are asexual, good. You're probably much more likely to win a Nobel Prize or become a billionaire. :D

HAHA you had me worried for a second there. Also, I didn't understand what you meant by the last part until I read ScottishCanary's post.

LOL really? are the odds really that small?

Like SC says below, they're something like 1%. For a TRUE asexual anyways. (As in not grey-a)

Asexuality does exist and your chances of being asexual are greater than winning the Nobel Prize or becoming a billionaire! Someone I know is asexual and is very heavily involved in the asexual community here in Scotland so it does exist. Roughly 1% of people are asexual. That may not seem a lot but in a school of 500 that means 5 asexuals!

Search Google for AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) for more info if you haven't already

I think grey-a is more common though, because I know quite a few people who don't feel entirely asexual, but who don't feel entirely sexual, myself included.

Clearly it exists or there wouldn't be a name for it. I think it's more common to be grey-A or something though, AVEN Wiki says if you "experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them" you are grey-asexual and this is the term I've been looking for for a very long time. I am a grey-homosexual by this case. I can thank Ren (WisenUpJanetWeiss) for confirming me this :D because I've known I've felt this way for a long time :) and it's made me feel much better about myself.

Grey-a can also go for feeling somewhere between 'sexual' and 'asexual'- that's why it's called GREY-a. Demisexual, for instance, is considered grey-a because sexual attraction is limited to something that isn't physical.

You're welcome. I'm glad I could help. :D

Asexuality exists, but it goes with other sexualities. Asexuality is a lack of sexual interest and the like but the person still wants romance from someone.

Actually, not all asexuals- or sexuals want a romantic relationship. These would be considered aromantic, possibly grey-aromantic.

[radsniper]

you have no need to worry asexuality is normal. you could solve problems like autism and cancer with all the extra mind space that can be turned into intellect thus earning you a prestigious place in the world and forever in history

[Karkat]

you have no need to worry asexuality is normal. you could solve problems like autism and cancer with all the extra mind space that can be turned into intellect thus earning you a prestigious place in the world and forever in history

Er, asexuality doesn't guarantee heightened intelligence just like sexuality doesn't guarantee incompetence.

It's about the person, and what they do with what life's given them. I mean, some people don't even want to be 'prestigious'. Nothing wrong with that.

The parts of the brain that have to do with critical thinking, learning, problem solving, etc. are in an entirely different part of the brain (frontal and parietal lobes) than sexual arousal/etc. (hypothalamus) anyways. There's not even a comparison.

Also, not all who are autistic want to be cured! Just thought I'd say that. I think autism is something that needs to have better treatment etc., especially in light of low-mid functioning autism, but autism isn't like most mental illnesses. It can kind of shape a person, and most whom I know that are on the spectrum would not want to be 'cured'- including myself if I am.

[radsniper]

true,but that's not what i'm saying
there will always be those who will slack off and not care with nothing in regard to their sexuality
but asexuals have a better configuration for understanding because they don't have the same goals in sexuality as say you and me so it gives them an advantage(on the big bang theory sheldon pretty much says if einstein wasn't such a dog we would have time travel)
as for the autism i know a few who would like to change and some who don't but having the choice is great

[ninja789]

I know a guy who is asexual. From what he has told me he is pretty similar to you but he doesn't say "oh your beautiful" lol. He has no interest in sex whatsoever and cant even picture it in his head. You get different types of asexuals though
He sent me quite a lot of stuff on it but I found this sight the most helpful:
http://www.asexualityarchive.com/possible-signs-of-asexuality-part-1-about-you/

hope this helps :)