This Girl

[benlodge123]

I met this girl called Carly. She has blonde hair, a bright glow and really nice eyes. I spoke to her about her past relationship/s and she said she was in a relationship for 2 years. However, her "other half" was a transgender. Her other half used to be called Kim, but is now called Cody and labels themself as a boy.
As for Carly, she says that she could easily have a relationship with a boy, but should she want to have a girl friend, then she could also go down that route.

I would like to get to know her a bit better, and maybe build a relationship. She says that if we did, she would cut off all the other people that wanted to talk to her (if any) and talk to me. I see that as a good sign despite only knowing her for a few days.

The last time i had a relationship was 2 years ago. I have no idea how i should "get to know" someone, or how i should progress into a relationship.
Carly is really down to earth, shes 1 year younger than me. To be honest im not sure she could have a boyfriend because of how long she was with a girl for.


Any Suggestions would be appreciated

[yeehaw]

To be honest im not sure she could have a boyfriend because of how long she was with a girl for.

Don’t feel discouraged by this - although this may be the case for some people it isn’t for others. I know I don’t feel that way, it’s not always about the gender, it’s more about the emotional connection you have with a person.

How long has it been since she broke up with Cody? This might play a factor, as if it was very recent she still may be getting over the relationship.. 2 years is a long time to be with someone when you’re a teenager.

She seems committed to you though already and wants to talk to you exclusively, which is a really good sign. Personally I would recommend trying to build up a friendship first and get to know her before pursuing a relationship - I just think this works out better as you get to learn all their traits and hobbies first but it’s up to you.

But your problem here is you don’t know how to get to know her, which is completely fine too. Just ask her what she likes to do in her free time and any hobbies she has. What subjects does she do at school? Try and find stuff you have in common, whether it be music, tv/film or even just school subjects. Finding things in common is always a good starter.

Once you’ve build up some good conversation time between each other, you can get down to the deep questions: some questions here (https://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/02/40-deep-questions-to-ask-if-you-really-want-to-get-to-know-someone/) could steer you in the right direction, and you can get to know her quickly on an emotional level and some of her core values - things you don’t really get to learn through everyday conversation.

I hope this helps! Best of luck, keep us updated :)

[benlodge123]

Don’t feel discouraged by this - although this may be the case for some people it isn’t for others. I know I don’t feel that way, it’s not always about the gender, it’s more about the emotional connection you have with a person.

How long has it been since she broke up with Cody? This might play a factor, as if it was very recent she still may be getting over the relationship.. 2 years is a long time to be with someone when you’re a teenager.

She seems committed to you though already and wants to talk to you exclusively, which is a really good sign. Personally I would recommend trying to build up a friendship first and get to know her before pursuing a relationship - I just think this works out better as you get to learn all their traits and hobbies first but it’s up to you.

But your problem here is you don’t know how to get to know her, which is completely fine too. Just ask her what she likes to do in her free time and any hobbies she has. What subjects does she do at school? Try and find stuff you have in common, whether it be music, tv/film or even just school subjects. Finding things in common is always a good starter.

Once you’ve build up some good conversation time between each other, you can get down to the deep questions: some questions here (https://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/02/40-deep-questions-to-ask-if-you-really-want-to-get-to-know-someone/) could steer you in the right direction, and you can get to know her quickly on an emotional level and some of her core values - things you don’t really get to learn through everyday conversation.

I hope this helps! Best of luck, keep us updated :)


Oh i do for sure feel discouraged. I've never spoken to a girl who could go other side of the fence with her sexuality. I do feel emotionally connected with her already which i think is a good thing. She broke up with him 2 months ago. They still have photos of them 2 together on instagram but they are from a while ago. I understand if they are still friends.
Yeah i wanted to build up a friendship, its just... how haha! Yeah progressing itno a relationship is way to fast, i know that for sure.

Ive asked her all of them already, we was writing quite big paragraphs as replies. We have spoken about music, Netflix, school, what she hopes to do at college etc. I was awake until 1:30am this morning talking to her, so she must want to spend time with me. I will bookmark that link! Only problem is with asking deep questions is people can often tell that you "googled" questions. Then again, i am quite a well spoken lad so im sure she wont clock on.

Thanks for your Help!

[jamie_n5]

Why not meet for lunch or dinner to be able to talk to each other. You could give a relationship a try if it works to go that way. Most people have several relationships before they find that right person.