How to confess ?

[Sailor Mars]

So I don’t really want to be here for relationship or dating advice because it’s kinda personal, but I’m really confused right now. I have a crush yea? And it’s been going on for a little bit, maybe a month or two, and the boy I like is genuinely pretty cool. I’m torn between confessing or not confessing.

Honestly, he doesn’t even talk to me when we’re not in school... We used to text a bit, and we have each other’s snaps and send streaks and stuff, but I’m always the one sending replies and he rarely responds, or seems really dismissive when we talk. He’s said shit like “If i like someone tbh i wouldn’t even talk to them” before but this just sucks.

On the other hand, all my friends have just been like “Go for it. What’s the worst that could happen? He says no?” And mutual friends we have especially been telling me to just go for it, so idk if he likes me too or nah?? N I mean, if I confess n he likes me back dope, cuz ik how to actually be a gf now, and if he doesn’t I just get rejected n we prolly still gonna be friends.

But now comes the real question, if I do confess, how the fuck do I do it??

I’ve had a boyfriend before, but us liking each other was so obvious that it was just like “Do you wanna go out with me?” Because the answer was obvious. But how do you go about confessing to someone you don’t know likes you back and doesn’t even talk to you? I’m afraid if I ask him out somewhere he’ll be like I’m busy or smth, and it doesn’t seem right to do it in school because too many people and I think he gets nervous about feelings and shit around our classmates (relatable)

[Max the Disenchanter]

You need to organise a marketing campaign in which your girlfriends begin to plant the seed in his head. Once the seed is planted, it'll only be a matter of time. Wait a few weeks... then Nudes + Snapchat. Boom. Instant boyfriend. Never fails.

[Sailor Mars]

You need to organise a marketing campaign in which your girlfriends begin to plant the seed in his head. Once the seed is planted, it'll only be a matter of time. Wait a few weeks... then Nudes + Snapchat. Boom. Instant boyfriend. Never fails.

do you know from experience ?

[Max the Disenchanter]

do you know from experience ?

Yes and through observation. But honestly, he seems like the kind of guy who's just gonna break your heart if you do end up dating him. Relationships don't do very well without reciprocity. From the few details you've provided, you seem to be doing all the work just to maintain your friendship with him. Then again, he could just be a dumb boy who needs extra prodding before the emotional flood gates are opened. If he rebuffs your confession then just convince yourself that he's gay to mitigate the pain of rejection =P

P.s. I'm a dumb boy

[ska8er]

Yes and through observation. But honestly, he seems like the kind of guy who's just gonna break your heart if you do end up dating him. Relationships don't do very well without reciprocity. From the few details you've provided, you seem to be doing all the work just to maintain your friendship with him. Then again, he could just be a dumb boy who needs extra prodding before the emotional flood gates are opened. If he rebuffs your confession then just convince yourself that he's gay to mitigate the pain of rejection =P

P.s. I'm a dumb boy

Dude Ur a smart man-good psychology.:)

[inactiveguy678]

Sorry but the guy screams toxic masculinity from the get go. If you do cross the bridge from friendship to relationship... I feel like you are gonna have problems with him just being not open.

To answer your question...

I think just being upfront and telling him in a concise manner is gonna do it. No grand gestures no huge explanation just a simple breakdown that "dude I know we've been talking for so long but I'm developing feelings for you i hope you feel the same way".

The red flag seems to be the signs of dismissiveness even to the point of saying I don't respond to a person even if I like them". like I'm sorry what does that even mean. From the surface it sounds like he is being edgy but from a deeper perspective you know this just means I don't talk about sh*t coz men don't show feelings and sh*t.

I'm not sure if I got the bead on your personality just yet but you seem like a lets talk to get to know each other type of person and he seems like a more man of action and less man talk.

If you put your mindset to this rejection will hurt less. If you overthink and scare him off because of that I'm sensing you will kill yourself with maybes.

So tldr this guy seems to be like the less you say the less damage you inflict.

[Sailor Mars]

Sorry but the guy screams toxic masculinity from the get go. If you do cross the bridge from friendship to relationship... I feel like you are gonna have problems with him just being not open.

To answer your question...

I think just being upfront and telling him in a concise manner is gonna do it. No grand gestures no huge explanation just a simple breakdown that "dude I know we've been talking for so long but I'm developing feelings for you i hope you feel the same way".

The red flag seems to be the signs of dismissiveness even to the point of saying I don't respond to a person even if I like them". like I'm sorry what does that even mean. From the surface it sounds like he is being edgy but from a deeper perspective you know this just means I don't talk about sh*t coz men don't show feelings and sh*t.

I'm not sure if I got the bead on your personality just yet but you seem like a lets talk to get to know each other type of person and he seems like a more man of action and less man talk.

If you put your mindset to this rejection will hurt less. If you overthink and scare him off because of that I'm sensing you will kill yourself with maybes.

So tldr this guy seems to be like the less you say the less damage you inflict.

I really doubt it’s a masculinity thing, I think it’s just an anxiety thing? Kind of like a “If I don’t engage or recognize these feelings, then I don’t have to worry about them or potentially fuck up a relationship” type thing. I’m kind of the same way, as in I will ignore feelings if they could lead to more drama or more bs, but only if that’s really necessary. I think he just does it as a defense mechanism which is... dumb, ya, but understandable.

But we’re actually figuring stuff out ^^ I basically said that I’m not going to be seeking anyone out anymore and if they want to talk or hang out, they need to hmu because I’m not gonna be putting energy in when it isn’t requited, and he’s actually started talking to me Lol.

Idk, we have a lot in common as far as I can tell and we get along well, but I think he’s just scared to act on feelings or get into relationships because whatever personal shit... which is fine! I just don’t appreciate being ignored or dismissed or smth without a reason ykno? But ya, I think it’s getting better and hey who knows, maybe I will end up confessing

[inactiveguy678]

I really doubt it’s a masculinity thing, I think it’s just an anxiety thing? Kind of like a “If I don’t engage or recognize these feelings, then I don’t have to worry about them or potentially fuck up a relationship” type thing. I’m kind of the same way, as in I will ignore feelings if they could lead to more drama or more bs, but only if that’s really necessary. I think he just does it as a defense mechanism which is... dumb, ya, but understandable.

But we’re actually figuring stuff out ^^ I basically said that I’m not going to be seeking anyone out anymore and if they want to talk or hang out, they need to hmu because I’m not gonna be putting energy in when it isn’t requited, and he’s actually started talking to me Lol.

Idk, we have a lot in common as far as I can tell and we get along well, but I think he’s just scared to act on feelings or get into relationships because whatever personal shit... which is fine! I just don’t appreciate being ignored or dismissed or smth without a reason ykno? But ya, I think it’s getting better and hey who knows, maybe I will end up confessing

i'm sorry if I totally misread the situation and the guy.

I'm basing this from life experience to be honest knowing some of the guys who are like what I described.... and some of the girls who are affected by these guys.

I still stand with the recommendation of being direct and saying as little as possible if you confess to him given the complicated nature of his personality (the fact that he is not that showy or communicative).

Anyway, taking my advice I'll shut up now because I am totally wrong in my read of the situation.

[Sailor Mars]

i'm sorry if I totally misread the situation and the guy.

I'm basing this from life experience to be honest knowing some of the guys who are like what I described.... and some of the girls who are affected by these guys.

I still stand with the recommendation of being direct and saying as little as possible if you confess to him given the complicated nature of his personality (the fact that he is not that showy or communicative).

Anyway, taking my advice I'll shut up now because I am totally wrong in my read of the situation.

Don’t worry about it! Thank you for the advice anyway! ^^

[Melodic]

This is something that comes from my own personal experience.

I think you should confess how you feel. This isn't because I think he likes you back because even I don't know personally. This is to receive your own personal closure with the situation instead of constantly overthinking whether or not he likes you. There could be many signs he likes you back but the only way you'll find out for sure is if he tells you or you go and ask him yourself.

Life is too short to hold back how you feel.

Honestly, I'd just keep it simple when you do. You could say something along the lines of "Hey. How's your day? I'm doing good. By the way, fun fact. I'm interested in you." or you could just say "Hey, I just want you to know I'm interested in you and I just want to get that off of my chest."

Simple but effective.

[House anatomy]

Dont think up some convoluted plan to make him tell you that he likes you or something like that. I would just tell him. Catch him when you guys are alone and just tell him how you feel. If he doesn't reciprocate the feeling its not the end of the world. He is just not the one for one. If he does go from there.