Not an Issue, More... Advice

[benlodge123]

So, I use snapchat every day for Streaks etc, talking to friends and a few family members.
Every day I see girls putting on there snapchat story things about boys not being loyal etc and it pisses me off.
Personally, I'm 17 years old, I'm quite mature and I have had to deal with rejection many times, some of the times have been quite easy, others... not so much.

I have a few people older than me on snapchat. 19 years old maximum. and 14 years old minimum.
The 14-year-old girls are quite immature. They say "boys have no sympathy, and are all dicks". I'd argue that boys do have sympathy, they just don't like to show it because it almost deletes their manly bravado.

It angers me that girls that aren't even my age (14 years old, no lower, I'm not a creep thx) get angry at boys for some shit reason like "urgh he went for a pretty girl... er... hello, I'm pretty too" Damn, your 14 ffs, some guy you meet at your age probably won't still be there in 20 years time. It's not worth the hassle at that age. There are plenty more things to worry about at that age. Puberty, school, exams, family. Not to mention those all-important friends.

Why do girls, but also boys worry about relationships in high school? At University, it's understandable because you will be mature, but high/secondary school... it's not worth the shit.

What are other peoples views on this matter? I'd be keen to know.

[Katie2003]

I think that we learn from experience but have to be careful along the way. My mom encourages me and my big sis (who is 18) to date as many people as possible so we can learn how to interact and to respect diversity. I think personal relationships are important but I can already see from dating at 14 and 15 there is a huge range of maturity. Personally I do a lot better with older partners, my best relationships so far have both been with 18 year olds. I'm not saying that I am anywhere near being at that level of maturity, but having someone that's responsible and shows it does make a difference to me. I totally agree that it's quite unlikely any relationships formed in high school or younger are going to last forever and should be seen more as a learning experience that helps us become more mature and understand the responsibility of being in a relationship with another person. I've already learned that I like other girls a lot more than I do boys, but I haven't ruled out dating boys because they can be fun too.

[benlodge123]

I think that we learn from experience but have to be careful along the way. My mom encourages me and my big sis (who is 18) to date as many people as possible so we can learn how to interact and to respect diversity. I think personal relationships are important but I can already see from dating at 14 and 15 there is a huge range of maturity. Personally I do a lot better with older partners, my best relationships so far have both been with 18 year olds. I'm not saying that I am anywhere near being at that level of maturity, but having someone that's responsible and shows it does make a difference to me. I totally agree that it's quite unlikely any relationships formed in high school or younger are going to last forever and should be seen more as a learning experience that helps us become more mature and understand the responsibility of being in a relationship with another person. I've already learned that I like other girls a lot more than I do boys, but I haven't ruled out dating boys because they can be fun too.


Firstly, id like to say thank you for your reply. Im happy that there are some 15 year olds that are mature like you, hwoever im yet to find them. Yeah relationships at high school should be used for fun in the respect that you have a good time, but also used for learnign as well.

[Uniquemind]

It varies I think, the early ages between 10-17, everyone differs on how seriously to take and balance relationships with life’s other responsibilities while also dealing with the reality that some element of superficially does affect aspects of life. (Aka: marketing, make-up, boys going after a certain pretty girl)


It’s hard, but certainly not impossible to have meaningful relationships; also because every individual is on a different stage of development.

There’s a heterosexual couple at my school who have been together since 7th grade and they are both very popular because they’re both student body staff high achiever types.

But you have to understand that there is a sense of competition among girls, especially rooted in insecurity about our looks, when it comes to attracting the guys we are into and the only progress that’s been made in the last 12 years or so, is some parts of society are okay with a girl making the first move to ask a guy out. But many opt to just try to be approachable so the guy ends up making the first move.


That’s also not to say girls don’t favor a particular type of eye candy either, but it’s seems less salient than the emotive-social connection that sometimes never starts because guy never approaches.

Or perhaps he did approach but we’re already taken, diff situation, but a guy probably doesn’t mentally differentiate this, he’ll see rejection as rejection. Not rejection because I didn’t have a chance in one situation, and then rejection as I was too slow but maybe if I had been more proactive earlier in the dating scene I might have had a shot.