Experimenting

[Brigje]

The previous thread “experimenting” was locked because it was bumped.
It had 138 comments, of which 18 in the last two days. (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3685029#post3685029)

Experimenting between family members is a fact of life and especially teens seem to struggle with the yes or no or maybe-if questions about it.

That is why I started this new thread with a reference link to the previous one, so we all can look/read back the previous comments and continue this discussion.

Opinions on this differ, for some it is a clear NO, for some others it is Yes-but only with same gender or only with same age cousins and others find it no problem.

I don’t have siblings, but as a teen I experimented with my boy-cousin(s) as well as a girl-cousin and I don’t have any regrets about it.

Posts merged. ~Dalcourt

[KristenS]

I agree Brigje, as long it is consensual and you don't try to make any long term plans as far as marriage then what is it hurting. But like you said everyone has their own opinion but as for me i agree with you. It doesn't hurt a thing.

[Katie2003]

That's the important thing. It has to be consensual and fun for both people. As long as no one is being hurt against their will, or forced to do something they aren't comfortable with, then it's perfectly OK with me.

I felt a lot safer experimenting with my sister than I would have with someone else outside the family. I see no issues with it continuing indefinitely if everyone wants it to. There is usually already a strong emotional bond between siblings or cousins. I draw the line at sexual activity with adults you are related to though, that's just weird and creepy.

[ashleigh7]

I agree. And most definitely being consensual for both and no pressure on either. I think it can be a safe way to try things and ask questions. And get experience. A long term relationship might be something that should be avoided, and if intercourse happens between a girl and guy, then 100% some form of protection needs to be used.

[Jordan99]

The most I have ever done or will do is skinny dip in the pool with my brothers and cousins but would never experiment sexually with a family member. I my humble opinion that is incest and is morally wrong.

[Brigje]

The most I have ever done or will do is skinny dip in the pool with my brothers and cousins but would never experiment sexually with a family member. I my humble opinion that is incest and is morally wrong.
Jordan, thanks for your comment, I respect your opinion on this.

This is why I started this thread, so everybody can hear/read different opinions on the subject.

[mick01]

I have done some things with family members. For me, it was a way of learning some things. It was harmless and fun.

[LITTLEANGEL19]

I have done some things with family members. For me, it was a way of learning some things. It was harmless and fun.

Depends on what you mean by "some things"
I am totally against any type of incestuous relationships.

[gurquenjen]

I've always thought of (and engaged in) experimentation as a fun, safe way to find out what you like sexually with people you know very, very well already. It allows me to just BE myself in a way that I might be wary about being with someone I was interested in romantically as well as sexually.

[JohnnyMac]

The most I have done with someone in my immediate family is masturbate my 12 year old brother. I touched his penis, he touched mine, and it was fine. Now, I have experimented with my 13 year old male cousin and 14 year old female cousin at different times, however. I don’t have a problem with experimenting with family members, even of the opposite gender. It can go as far as you want it to, as long as it’s consensual.

[mick01]

Depends on what you mean by "some things"
I am totally against any type of incestuous relationships.

Not looking for your opinion on what I have done with members of my family.

[jamie_n5]

I have experimented with my male cousins and some with female cousins too.
I have experimented with both male and female friends. I think it is healthy and educational myself.

[hayley2003]

I saw this on youtube. i also saw a sexual version of pony play, but can't find int now.

o2Bm_wiRT24

[Jonnieboy909]

I’ve experimented with my sis and male cousin

[Pultost]

I kissed with my male cousin when I was younger, but nothing more. As I wrote in the other thread, it was innocent stuff. Doing anything with family closer than that is out of the question.

[TheMagicPotato]

With some far cousins I experimented a bit.

But, the fact of thinking that I would do that with my brother or sister makes me sick.

[Connordude]

Rod A is not to slot into hole B
Sure, stuff happens, but it stops being experimenting if you keep doing it you experiment, learn and stop. Beyond that you’re in dangerous territory that could haunt you for life

[logan2002]

Female cousin has seen me naked by my choice, she wanted to see my dick. Have jo with a younger male cousin.

[ashleigh7]

Personally..if you set limits and it's 100% consensual...and protection is used if it goes that far. I'm ok with it I guess :)

[Connordude]

Personally..if you set limits and it's 100% consensual...and protection is used if it goes that far. I'm ok with it I guess :)

Even siblings? I can see so arguments for it being okay, but I certainly wouldn’t admit to it

[ashleigh7]

Even siblings? I can see so arguments for it being okay, but I certainly wouldn’t admit to it

I get how you feel that way. And I even used to kinda think that same way. But it's just how I feel. It's only my opinion. It doesn't hurt anyone. And I'm totally fine with people who totally think the apposite. I'm just under the notion...that if you comfortable with the Peron and your old enough and both want it...who am I to say NO??? Ya....know??? :)

[Connordude]

I get how you feel that way. And I even used to kinda think that same way. But it's just how I feel. It's only my opinion. It doesn't hurt anyone. And I'm totally fine with people who totally think the apposite. I'm just under the notion...that if you comfortable with the Peron and your old enough and both want it...who am I to say NO??? Ya....know??? :)

Yeah totally, I won’t lie and say I’ve done nothing in that area, I guess I worry there would be relationship consequences if it went further or all the way
But I can see how some could go there and it just be, FWB territory and fine for them

[ashleigh7]

Yeah totally, I won’t lie and say I’ve done nothing in that area, I guess I worry there would be relationship consequences if it went further or all the way
But I can see how some could go there and it just be, FWB territory and fine for them

Ya....no it can definitely be complicated...But any relationship can be I guess:) I just think in the right circumstances it be be safe and fun. And I'm with you I do have some experience in this stuff. Yes FEB territory can be a great thing if it works out like that. :)

[Connordude]

Ya....no it can definitely be complicated...But any relationship can be I guess:) I just think in the right circumstances it be be safe and fun. And I'm with you I do have some experience in this stuff. Yes FEB territory can be a great thing if it works out like that. :)

The main thing is if both want to and are safe and equal and boundaries established, definitely not rushed into

I’ve heard the stories of girls chosing a bro as the first because of trust not to hurt and the main one I think is that they trust he wouldn’t tell anyone

Maybe that’s internet / urban legend stuff but I get it

[ashleigh7]

The main thing is if both want to and are safe and equal and boundaries established, definitely not rushed into

I’ve heard the stories of girls chosing a bro as the first because of trust not to hurt and the main one I think is that they trust he wouldn’t tell anyone

Maybe that’s internet / urban legend stuff but I get it

Yes exactly! It's just a boy and a girl relationship..same rules apply. Respect and fair treatment :) it's doesn't need to be more complicated !!! Lol!
I'm sure there is a lot on the internet about this stuff. And your example hits very close to home. :) and it wasn't rushed or anything. We talk for months about it.
You said earlier..that you have with your sister?

[Connordude]

Yes exactly! It's just a boy and a girl relationship..same rules apply. Respect and fair treatment :) it's doesn't need to be more complicated !!! Lol!
I'm sure there is a lot on the internet about this stuff. And your example hits very close to home. :) and it wasn't rushed or anything. We talk for months about it.
You said earlier..that you have with your sister?

Maybe lol
Nothing that wouldn’t get us excommunicated

[Connordude]

Yes exactly! It's just a boy and a girl relationship..same rules apply. Respect and fair treatment :) it's doesn't need to be more complicated !!! Lol!
I'm sure there is a lot on the internet about this stuff. And your example hits very close to home. :) and it wasn't rushed or anything. We talk for months about it.
You said earlier..that you have with your sister?

Mostly we just talk about stuff, she always has questions about the boys point of view and I think it’s wrong not be honest ane share

[ashleigh7]

Maybe lol
Nothing that wouldn’t get us excommunicated

Ha:) gotcha:) no worries. At the very least it's nice to talk the apposite sex about stuff :)

[ashleigh7]

Mostly we just talk about stuff, she always has questions about the boys point of view and I think it’s wrong not be honest ane share



Ya totally. I mean that's what a brother or sister is for. To always be by your side

[Connordude]

Ya totally. I mean that's what a brother or sister is for. To always be by your side

Exactly!
What kind of a bro would I be if I turned her away or ignored a question I could answer or try

[ashleigh7]

Exactly!
What kind of a bro would I be if I turned her away or ignored a question I could answer or try


Very true. And I think talking about stuff is healthy and help both figure out what they might like and not like. :)

[Connordude]

Very true. And I think talking about stuff is healthy and help both figure out what they might like and not like. :)

Definitely
Boost each others confidence etc

[Natacha]

I've experimented a little bit with my brother. Not much

[Dis_boiii]

I think there is a line between exploring yourself and incest. Sure, masturbating with your brother to explore yourself is fine but anything more I’d consider incestuous.

[Allover Kelly]

Nope would not do anything with any of my family. God know I have done some messed up things and I have to have a line I would not cross.

[xSashax]

I agree Brigje, as long it is consensual and you don't try to make any long term plans as far as marriage then what is it hurting. But like you said everyone has their own opinion but as for me i agree with you. It doesn't hurt a thing.

Totally agree with Kristen!

[Caitigrrl]

I have experimented with my cousin some, parents know and don’t disapprove because they trust us and prefer not going out and trying with others they don’t know
It’s not illegal or anything

[Bri7]

No siblings but i personaly don't see a problem with having safe mutual fun

[MagicGinnySurprise]

I don't get why you wouldn't. Not saying people who get bothered by the idea are wrong, but seriously, as long as you're careful about pregnancy, there's actually zero real risk.

I've done plenty with my brother and my sisters, and it's the actual absolute best. Like someone said a few pages back, there's a comfort level that you don't have with someone you're worried about impressing. I know I'm willing to try things that I'm not sure I'll like cause I know if I freak or anything it doesn't matter. Plus, there's the convenience. You want to try something, you need someone, you're just looking for a quick release, it's so easy lol.

[teeeem]

I've only ever compared with my closest friends (which happened accidentally) or from ppl online and thats about it

[ashleigh7]

I don't get why you wouldn't. Not saying people who get bothered by the idea are wrong, but seriously, as long as you're careful about pregnancy, there's actually zero real risk.

I've done plenty with my brother and my sisters, and it's the actual absolute best. Like someone said a few pages back, there's a comfort level that you don't have with someone you're worried about impressing. I know I'm willing to try things that I'm not sure I'll like cause I know if I freak or anything it doesn't matter. Plus, there's the convenience. You want to try something, you need someone, you're just looking for a quick release, it's so easy lol.

Well said :) thank you..

[Tsall]

I’ve masturbated with my brother before, but that’s the most I’ve done with my immediate family. But I have 2 cousins that I’ve experimented with. One female cousin, 15, we’ve done a lot. My 13 year old male cousin and I have done some stuff as well.

[theblue]

I live in quite a conservative place, never experimented with anyone, but I don't think it's wrong. As long as both sides are aware and consent to what they're doing.

[Davidtexas78666]

I fooled around with female cousin several times when we were both preteens; just light play, very consensual. Never really talked about it after a couple years and we both seem to have turned out fine and still socialize platonicaly on rare occasion. It's ok just for fun. Nothing serious.

[ashleigh7]

I live in quite a conservative place, never experimented with anyone, but I don't think it's wrong. As long as both sides are aware and consent to what they're doing.

100% agree. Can be safe for both to try things and ask questions.

[arnorway]

i have thought about masturbating with my 1 year younger brother but have not dared to ask/initiate anything. don't have any cousins around my age, only much younger ones

[sandysweet15]

I’ve started some weeks ago to masturbate with my brother

[Maxbreak]

I've not done anything myself. As long as it's consensual, there's nothing wrong with it. As long as they stop when you say so, no pressure.

[NudistFun]

They have actually done studies on this. Apparently it is generally only harmful if there is a perceived power difference between the two family members with one submitting to any sort of sexual touching as a way to impress the other. It's a fascinating read.

One camp could argue to err on the side of caution while the other that it's safer and natural.

Either way I don't judge!

[tessa-]

In hindsight I wish I never did this

[Brigje]

They have actually done studies on this. Apparently it is generally only harmful if there is a perceived power difference between the two family members with one submitting to any sort of sexual touching as a way to impress the other. It's a fascinating read.

One camp could argue to err on the side of caution while the other that it's safer and natural.

Either way I don't judge!

NudistFun - Laura, do you have a link to that study, it sounds to be an interesting read.

[NudistFun]

In hindsight I wish I never did this

I think there was just way too much of an age difference :(

I'm here!!

NudistFun - Laura, do you have a link to that study, it sounds to be an interesting read.

I do somewhere! I promise I'll find it after the holidays :)

[HardCandyGirl]

I think there was just way too much of an age difference :(

I'm here!!



I do somewhere! I promise I'll find it after the holidays :)

Great, I'd like to read that, too. ;)

Experimenting must be consensual, that's for sure.

About past, we should take advantage of those experiences and learn, with no regrets, maybe we could be better because of that.

[NudistFun]

I'll have to keep looking but some of the studies that have been done with that finding can be found referenced in this wiki-article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibling_relationship#Sibling_marriage_and_incest

A snippet:
Views of young sibling sexual contact may be affected by more general views regarding sexuality and minors:

Finkelhor and Hotaling (1984)[63] consider sexual contact to be abusive only under these circumstances:
1. it occurs with a child less than 13 years old, and the perpetrator is more than five years older than the victim or if the child is between 13 and 16 years old, and the perpetrator is ten years older than the victim;
2. coercion, force, or threat is used.
Laviola (1992), says that behavior that is sexually abusive of children (generally speaking) depends upon the use of power, authority, bribery, or appeal to the child's trust or affection.[64]
De Jong (1989), offers four criteria to judge whether sexual behavior involving persons under 14 years old is abusive or not:
1. an age difference of more than five years;
2. use of force, threat, or authority;
3. attempted penile penetration;
4. physical injury to the victim.
According to De Jong, if one or more of these is present, the behavior is abusive, whereas if none is present, the behavior must be considered normal sexual experimentation.[65]

[RileyX]

I had some experienting when i was really young i dont even know what age and didnt really know what i was doing it was just kinda fun when i did it but i think this is the only place ill ever admit it cause i feel like id get judged in person and itd be weird to talk about it with them now

[Brigje]

I'll have to keep looking but some of the studies that have been done with that finding can be found referenced in this wiki-article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibling_relationship#Sibling_marriage_and_incest

A snippet:
Views of young sibling sexual contact may be affected by more general views regarding sexuality and minors:


@NudistFun (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/member.php?u=121728) thanks for posting this link and the snippet (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3755250&postcount=55).
The last sentence confirms my views on the subject; when the behavior is not abusive, sexual experimentation must be considered as normal behavior, be it between friends (boys and girls) or siblings.

[maria14]

experimented with bro couple times

[vandilization]

I've experimented with a male and female cousin as well as a good guy friend. I don't think there's anything wrong with experimenting as long as there's no force or anything.

[big-girls-dont-cry]

100% agree. Can be safe for both to try things and ask questions.

i agree

[Fuwod9giw9s9c9e9]

I've never really got a chance to do anything like this, but I think that if it's consensual and there isn't too much of an age difference, then it's a healthy part of growing up :)

[Oliviaaa]

If it is consensual and fun, why would it be wrong?

[tessa-]

i agree

I guess I still agree too, so long as there isn’t a big age/power:influence gap

[tessa-]

If it is consensual and fun, why would it be wrong?

I agree, just sometimes if one is older etc than may be using a lot of influence to get something
But yeah, if both want it and understand the situation that’s safe and fair

[martinaCRO14]

If it is consensual and fun, why would it be wrong?

I think the same never was a problem with us, it made our connection even more open and better

[Diana2002]

if both parties are aware of what they are doing and the girl doesn't get pregnant sure, why not?

[Stuckinohio]

Soooo not sure how to respond to this question but I can say that I have done some expiramenting with my family. Everything has been really awesome and I wouldn't change it. I have no complaints and no regrets. We are a close family and it is nice to be able to share done things with.

[alexzachary]

I mean if you both agree I don't think it would be that big of a problem. I've only done it once with a male cousin when we were both younger (the same age though) and it wasn't a bad experience.

[BritneyQ]

Yeah as long as its consensual I dont see anything wrong with it

[Benny973]

I have experimented with a cousin, we were both ok with it before during and after. So I dont think there is really a problem with it.

[Valorean]

I don't see anything wrong with it. I've actually had sex with several guy cousins, and none of us have regretted it.

[Oitamara]

i think it’s ok if everyone is willing

[ashleigh7]

i think it’s ok if everyone is willing

I totally agree. And it's something that can be done safely at home. :)

[hannoAV]

Yeah as long as its consensual I dont see anything wrong with it

I agree. It’s not common and people might not talk about it but there’s nothing wrong with it.

[melissa16]

There is nothing wrong with it just as long as no one gets hurt in any way..

[ashleigh7]

There is nothing wrong with it just as long as no one gets hurt in any way..

Well said. :)

[Sailor Mars]

This thread was bumped :locked: