I’m 19 this month & have never been with a girl

[Andrew99]

So i’m 19 this month and i’ve never been with a girl. Never had a girlfriend, or been dating anyone, ever. I am straight by the way. I have always had very low confidence and self esteem, but the longer this has went on the lower my confidence is and the more depressed i become. I can’t talk to any girls without stuttering. I have real bad social anxiety which won’t go away. it sucks because i feel like i have so much to offer but no one wants to get to know me, and to be honest i can’t blame them. I guess this isn’t asking for advice but more just a rant as i don’t have anyone/trust anyone with this stuff. Sorry for wasting your time

[inactiveguy678]

I don’t think that something to feel bad about ranting I mean. I think you should just take it slow. Don’t try grand speeches or something if you are gonna stutter. Try literally doing small talk. This should get girls to see you aren’t over confident yet awkward. You don’t have to drop the box and be super profound the first few times you talk with them.

I think its natural to compare and feel bad if you haven’t been with a girl but in my opinion, you should try to brush it off if you can. I get it peer pressure or something but everybody matures at a different pace whether its growing pubes at 17 or being comfortable talking to girls at 19.

Hope I made you feel better.

[SethfromMI]

Have you thought about seeing a counselor about your anxiety problems? In all seriousness if it is severe social anxiety maybe you should talk to a professional

As plasmaspirit said, try to take things slow. Simple hey, how are you. Those little things build up. Try joining a club, organization, activity, whatever that will give you a common interest to talk about.

There are a lot of people with social anxiety, more than what most people are willing to admit. Most people who have the problem are of course too anxious to admit it sometimes because then it will just create more anxiety for them.

What you got to tell yourself is you do matter. Say it out loud if you have too: "I do matter. What I have to say is important." Try to think of yourself more positively. Don't say bad things about yourself and while I know it is a lot harder controlling your thoughts, try to think of yourself in a positive way.

At 19 I know it can be frustrating, but you should still have many many years left, so don't feel like you could never meet the right girl for you. There is more then enough time to find someone.

[Jordan99]

I agree with Seth. If your social anxiety is this severe, professional help may be a sound solution. I'm glad that you spoke up on this forum and admitted you have this challenge. Recognizing and admitting we have a problem is more than half of the solution.

[lliam]

I have real bad social anxiety which won’t go away. it sucks because i feel like i have so much to offer but no one wants to get to know me, and to be honest i can’t blame them.


I think you are very self-reflective with it.

But what I miss in your self-reflection-rant is the approach of the next step ... the step to solve the problem. So let me ask you this:

ever thought about to change it?
ever made steps to solve your prob ... at least to some extent?

some proposals were made in the last two posts above.

[jamie_n5]

You might need some professional counseling at this point to help you build confidence and come out of your shell. Don't be ashamed about seeking help.

[nathanlee]

i agree with seth. If your social anxiety is this severe, professional help may be a sound solution. I'm glad that you spoke up on this forum and admitted you have this challenge. Recognizing and admitting we have a problem is more than half of the solution.

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