Older parents and Significantly Older Siblings

[inactiveguy678]

Does anyone have really old parents and siblings?

I have 2 brothers 35 and 33 and my sister just turned 31. My parents are 71 (father) and 67. My mother allegedly had a difficult delivery with me since She was obviously very old at that time.

My parents had me very late. According to my older brother. My parents only planned to have at least one girl stop there and that I was the product of my parents having sex again after a really long time. My sister says I’m a happy accident.

Since my family runs our own moderately sized business all siblings are still relatively close even though they don’t live at home anymore.

This gives me a very unique experience of somewhat having a weird family dynamic. Having a good number of siblings through childhood and being more or less an only child like pre teen age and above.

My only worry though is that my dad is getting weaker with age and since he isn’t a health buff I’m afraid of losing him soon.

In this sense, I feel like spending as much time with my family is a blessing and I have to make every moment count.

How about you guys do you have similar experiences? What is it like for you dealing with older parents and siblings with a huge gap?

[nick_1999]

I can actually understand this, which is a new experience for me. Most of my friends' parents are either still in their 40s or entering their 50s, but my parents have already hit the 60 mark (not as old as yours though; that is impressive that they had you so late).

I don't have any siblings, but I can still point out where the age gap between me and my parents can make things awkward. I feel like that, since they were born in a different, more conservative time (even just by the 10-20 years that separates them from other parents), they have/had a harder time adjusting to what adolescence and overall growing-up entails. I feel like they try to relate to and rely upon their own childhood, even though that period and today are almost polar opposites. That seems to cause tension, but I feel like my parents have done a pretty good job adjusting. I can understand how hard that must be.

As for the "spend every moment possible", I've had that thought process before. It really hits you that death is this unavoidable fate that is quickly approaching, and sometimes that feeling is so strong that you become almost paralyzed with fear and apprehension. I still don't know how to react that feeling, but, since you brought it up in this thread, I'll think more on it and see if I can come to some sort of solution. The best I can say right now is that you should live your own life, but balance it out with your family. Don't sacrifice your teenage years because of a fear that will ultimately become a reality. On the other hand, cherish the memories and lessons that your parents teach you, so you have something to lean back on if something were to happen (though I really hope it doesn't).

I hope this helps some!

[ska8er]

I can actually understand this, which is a new experience for me. Most of my friends' parents are either still in their 40s or entering their 50s, but my parents have already hit the 60 mark (not as old as yours though; that is impressive that they had you so late).

I don't have any siblings, but I can still point out where the age gap between me and my parents can make things awkward. I feel like that, since they were born in a different, more conservative time (even just by the 10-20 years that separates them from other parents), they have/had a harder time adjusting to what adolescence and overall growing-up entails. I feel like they try to relate to and rely upon their own childhood, even though that period and today are almost polar opposites. That seems to cause tension, but I feel like my parents have done a pretty good job adjusting. I can understand how hard that must be.

As for the "spend every moment possible", I've had that thought process before. It really hits you that death is this unavoidable fate that is quickly approaching, and sometimes that feeling is so strong that you become almost paralyzed with fear and apprehension. I still don't know how to react that feeling, but, since you brought it up in this thread, I'll think more on it and see if I can come to some sort of solution. The best I can say right now is that you should live your own life, but balance it out with your family. Don't sacrifice your teenage years because of a fear that will ultimately become a reality. On the other hand, cherish the memories and lessons that your parents teach you, so you have something to lean back on if something were to happen (though I really hope it doesn't).

I hope this helps some!

This is great advice. I agree with u thoroughly. :)

[Atlantis]

There's a 6 year age gap between me and my sister, and I don't think we get on as well as people I know who have smaller age gap between them and their siblings.

Most of my friends parents though are around late 40s/early 50s I believe, there are a few exceptions to this of course but as far as I'm aware their family relationships aren't really any different.

[jamie_n5]

I think Nick1999 hit a home run with his advice.

[Harrier]

One of my good friends parents are 40 years older. So they are like 58. But his sister is just 4 years older. Another friend I have doesn't have quite as much as an age gap but his siblings are 15i-sh years older than him. Then another friend I have has a mom like 25 years older than her (normal) but her dad is like 70! Idk about the last two friends but the first one "complains" that his parents are "old" and don't relate to him. I'm sure that may be true. But the 70-year old guy actually seems really young acting despite his looks. As for spending time before parents die, I think this is something we all should do! A 58 year old person SHOULD live another 30-40 years unless they have an accident or get cancer or something. A 35 year old can die before a 55 year old or 75 year old person. We should all value time and family.

[Just JT]

I don’t have any siblings, and I don’t live with my birth parent. My adoptive parents are actually not much older than your siblings. And we get along pretty well

But I’ll chime in in the thought of spending as much time as you can with family as you can. By that I mean quality time. Don’t ever go to bed upset or angry with them, (like I did) course tomorrow may never be there to make amends.

Cherish every minute with them. And I don’t say that cause of their age, just reality of how short and fast life can come n go and end....

[inactiveguy678]

One of my good friends parents are 40 years older. So they are like 58. But his sister is just 4 years older. Another friend I have doesn't have quite as much as an age gap but his siblings are 15i-sh years older than him. Then another friend I have has a mom like 25 years older than her (normal) but her dad is like 70! Idk about the last two friends but the first one "complains" that his parents are "old" and don't relate to him. I'm sure that may be true. But the 70-year old guy actually seems really young acting despite his looks. As for spending time before parents die, I think this is something we all should do! A 58 year old person SHOULD live another 30-40 years unless they have an accident or get cancer or something. A 35 year old can die before a 55 year old or 75 year old person. We should all value time and family.

Really want to know more about the second friend and his siblings. I think what complicates my relationship is that the siblings now run our business and benefits fro doing it which changed the power dynamics somewhat especially since due to the actions of one brother business is actually pretty good.

But I agree with the first friend. I easily relate to what he says about parents not really knowing how to things work today so parents can't seem to relate to you. My parents can't even use a smartphone let alone a computer and such things already caused gaps when they can't imagine why I'm so excited about a new smartphone or why i dependent on technology etc.

[azurzg]

My mum was 36 when she had me, my dad was 44.
So my dad is 62 now.
My brother is 6 years older than I am and away from our home for a while.

[nathanlee]

I don't think such an age gap between siblings is a problem, I have no brothers and no sisters but I wish I had! Even significantly older than me