Tangled-up
March 11th, 2014, 03:17 PM
Lately i have been going through a hard period, don't know if it's school, home or just my state of mind but things haven't been easy. I cry myself to sleep everyday and pretend like its all fine. Seems like im just a troubled teen, right?
But i do something odd, whenever im really sad i grab a blanket or a dress or any fabric within reach and make a princess out of me, i put on pretty make-up, sit up straight and i act gracious. Sometimes when i can't find anything i watch a disney movie or watch cosplay, anything related to disney will drift me off into a surreal world where everything seems flawless.
One time my computer was taken and i couldn't find any blankets, because we were camping. I started losing my mind and grabbed a scarf and tied it around my neck and arms and legs and started slowing down the bloodflow, it felt like all the pain was slowing down. It felt like a mild version of what happened when i act like a disney princess. So you could say that without disney i would hurt myself on a regular basis. Is this weird, am i the only one that uses disney instead of cutting?
Also because of my obsession with disney, i get teased for being childish and i feel so small at that moment. So what is saving me is also destroying me?
But i do something odd, whenever im really sad i grab a blanket or a dress or any fabric within reach and make a princess out of me, i put on pretty make-up, sit up straight and i act gracious. Sometimes when i can't find anything i watch a disney movie or watch cosplay, anything related to disney will drift me off into a surreal world where everything seems flawless.
One time my computer was taken and i couldn't find any blankets, because we were camping. I started losing my mind and grabbed a scarf and tied it around my neck and arms and legs and started slowing down the bloodflow, it felt like all the pain was slowing down. It felt like a mild version of what happened when i act like a disney princess. So you could say that without disney i would hurt myself on a regular basis. Is this weird, am i the only one that uses disney instead of cutting?
Also because of my obsession with disney, i get teased for being childish and i feel so small at that moment. So what is saving me is also destroying me?