what do teens talk about?

[crustacean]

I have pretty much been a loner since forever. Maybe I was outgoing last when I was 11. And I hate it. I seriously don't understand how to chat people up, or how to make friends.

I feel extremely stuck when I am talking to people, it feels like a chore. I tried copying what they do, tried being genuine, both of which were unsuccessful. I easily become the 3rd wheel and people look at me weird when I try to join in.

The two girls I tried to be friends with (I am a girl) are both now inseparable after 2 weeks and I am suddenly out of the picture. I act chill and unperturbed but it still bugs me: what am I doing wrong? What do they talk about so much?

[ska8er]

I would find other teens who act introverted
and c if u can gain their attention by talking
bout things that u r interested in. Ask them
what their interests r. Also try and find groups
that share what u like. Join groups at school.
Usually three is a crowd-that's y u feel like a
third wheel. Its best to start off by getting to
know someone who also is a loner. Smile say
Hello and b urself. Maybe they r the one who
is also looking for a friend.

[Jake445]

Ska8er is right, three people in a group might not be the best when your more or less new to the finding friends thing. You might want to try becoming friends with people who don't already have a lot of them, preferably with people who share your interests or who you can get excited about your interests. You might also want to consider boys too, they can make great normal friends too.

[Bakingboy03]

I relate to you and this situation so much, I had a similar situation happen in October. It was with a on off friend relationship I got closer to this person when another person came to our friend group, then suddenly they ditch me and act like nothing happened I am a quiet person and never talk but I was so angry I confronted them they where stunned and I met new friends who respect me and respected my decision to do that! I wish you the best of luck. Keep strong!

~Brandon

[Just JT]

You may be trying to hard to fit in while also not allowing yourself to be yourself
Focusing on people you want to fit in with, you may be overlooking other oprotunities to make friends with similar interests as yourself

Not sure that helped or not, but maybe just try and relax and let stuff happen instead of making stuff happen?

[Thedukeoftrumpet]

I was in a similar situation a few years ago. Luckily for me some extroverts adopted me into their friend group. This seems to be a rare event however. One thing that I did do that seems to work was joining the schools musicals and plays. Theatre people (in my experience) are overly friendly. This will not work for everyone however, either way good luck.

[lliam]

I tried copying what they do, tried being genuine, both of which were unsuccessful. I easily become the 3rd wheel and people look at me weird when I try to join in. ?


Copying others isn't always followed by success, as long as you aren't a really very gifted pretender.


In case of those two girls ... maybe you choosed the wrong folks to be friend with.

You should seek out for folks who may or definitely share your intrests. And if there's a bunch of'em, don't bump in, don't act desperate to to befriend them, just talk to them, once in a while ... and if it turns out, they are interested in you, do so more often.

It may take time become a part of a group, but that's how it works ... so far I can tell from my expierences.

I was there every time my family moved to another country.

[crustacean]

Thanks for the replies!

[inactiveguy678]

I’m honestly the same thing. it didn’t help that my parents forced me to take summer workshops in various things I may or may not be interested in which makes it difficult to relate to people in those classes. The weird thing about that was by the time I finally get what my peers were talking about, I lose touch with them and end up repeating the cycle. My advise is start with the safe topics. Talk about you or topics about you that you are comfortable sharing. The floodgates open from there.

[Tom_theflash]

Just be confident. People appreciate that. To be more outgoing you may want to talk about the recent games you played, teachers, movies or music.. Just say something random to yourself and a conversation will start from there like "Darn it... I forgot my book"... But don't be afraid to express yourself. You don't have to pretend to be someone different when with a group of friends.