Someone talk to me

[Lovecraft]

Someone fucking talk to me please.

I feel displaced by about four or five inches. I don't exist on this plane, not really. I'm not real. I can break the law because repercussions don't apply to me. I can cut myself and it's okay because I can't feel it. I can fuck the shit out of my almost-illegally-too-old-for-me boyfriend and I can watch myself do it. I can lie perfectly because I am a puppet; I have no ticks, nothing is betrayed on my face. I am literally a marionette. I look in the mirror; I see a stranger. I hate faces, fuck do I hate faces. My name means nothing to me. I hate names.

It's such an uncommon disorder that no information is available on it. I though I was schizophrenic but I don't think I am. I know I have DPD but this is extreme. I can go days without sleeping but I don't have insomnia, or maybe I do, maybe that's a symptom of this disease that has wrenched my soul from my body and allowed me to watch my body live my life.

I stole so much merchandise today. I never get caught because I betray nothing. I am literally an empty husk of a human. I'm not human at all, really. I wonder what I am if that's the way things are; if I were a god, I'd have powers, right? Special abilities? Am I a god? I can do things other people can't, so maybe I am. I don't feel guilt, but I'm not a psychopath. I stole a book on shoplifting and made myself laugh at the irony, but my laughter is never a response, it is an act. What sort of a person acts when they're the only one in the room? Me, that's who.

The world looks so foggy today. It's clear some days, but today the tunnel vision is back in full force. I'm uncomfortably aware of the grand sizes of the skyscrapers that populate my city, giant metal skeletons and huge roaring eldritch abominations that are supposedly the foundation of our nation. I'm not a part of the system because I'm from another dimension. I'm half there right now.

It hurts so much.

Talk to me?

[MechaSniper]

Hello. I'm free for a chat.

Someone fucking talk to me please.

I feel displaced by about four or five inches. I don't exist on this plane, not really. I'm not real. I can break the law because repercussions don't apply to me. I can cut myself and it's okay because I can't feel it. I can fuck the shit out of my almost-illegally-too-old-for-me boyfriend and I can watch myself do it. I can lie perfectly because I am a puppet; I have no ticks, nothing is betrayed on my face. I am literally a marionette. I look in the mirror; I see a stranger. I hate faces, fuck do I hate faces. My name means nothing to me. I hate names.

It's such an uncommon disorder that no information is available on it. I though I was schizophrenic but I don't think I am. I know I have DPD but this is extreme. I can go days without sleeping but I don't have insomnia, or maybe I do, maybe that's a symptom of this disease that has wrenched my soul from my body and allowed me to watch my body live my life.

I stole so much merchandise today. I never get caught because I betray nothing. I am literally an empty husk of a human. I'm not human at all, really. I wonder what I am if that's the way things are; if I were a god, I'd have powers, right? Special abilities? Am I a god? I can do things other people can't, so maybe I am. I don't feel guilt, but I'm not a psychopath. I stole a book on shoplifting and made myself laugh at the irony, but my laughter is never a response, it is an act. What sort of a person acts when they're the only one in the room? Me, that's who.

The world looks so foggy today. It's clear some days, but today the tunnel vision is back in full force. I'm uncomfortably aware of the grand sizes of the skyscrapers that populate my city, giant metal skeletons and huge roaring eldritch abominations that are supposedly the foundation of our nation. I'm not a part of the system because I'm from another dimension. I'm half there right now.

It hurts so much.

Talk to me?

And I will be the one to talk.

[Lovecraft]

Hello. I'm free for a chat.

How are you doing today? Tell me about your day.

[sweet_girl24au]

How are you doing today? Tell me about your day.

Hey!
how are you feeling today?

[MechaSniper]

How are you doing today? Tell me about your day.

My day is .... well a day. wbu?

[Hollywood]

I'm always here to talk about anything, feel free to message me anytime :)

[Pierce]

Someone fucking talk to me please.

I feel displaced by about four or five inches. I don't exist on this plane, not really. I'm not real. I can break the law because repercussions don't apply to me. I can cut myself and it's okay because I can't feel it. I can fuck the shit out of my almost-illegally-too-old-for-me boyfriend and I can watch myself do it. I can lie perfectly because I am a puppet; I have no ticks, nothing is betrayed on my face. I am literally a marionette. I look in the mirror; I see a stranger. I hate faces, fuck do I hate faces. My name means nothing to me. I hate names.

It's such an uncommon disorder that no information is available on it. I though I was schizophrenic but I don't think I am. I know I have DPD but this is extreme. I can go days without sleeping but I don't have insomnia, or maybe I do, maybe that's a symptom of this disease that has wrenched my soul from my body and allowed me to watch my body live my life.

I stole so much merchandise today. I never get caught because I betray nothing. I am literally an empty husk of a human. I'm not human at all, really. I wonder what I am if that's the way things are; if I were a god, I'd have powers, right? Special abilities? Am I a god? I can do things other people can't, so maybe I am. I don't feel guilt, but I'm not a psychopath. I stole a book on shoplifting and made myself laugh at the irony, but my laughter is never a response, it is an act. What sort of a person acts when they're the only one in the room? Me, that's who.

The world looks so foggy today. It's clear some days, but today the tunnel vision is back in full force. I'm uncomfortably aware of the grand sizes of the skyscrapers that populate my city, giant metal skeletons and huge roaring eldritch abominations that are supposedly the foundation of our nation. I'm not a part of the system because I'm from another dimension. I'm half there right now.

It hurts so much.

Talk to me?

An amazing post. Many of these things I have felt or thought about before. The questioning of your existance or what you "mean" or who you are to this world. I have often wondered if I was not "of" this world. I also know that if I asked this question and someone responded claiming to "understand" or relate to something even I could not make sense of, I would feel a type of anger. I have not been on this website in a while, but I will be on daily now after reading this post in hope that I can be someone that you feel like you can talk to when you don't "feel" or "understand". If you want to talk , I'm here, even if it doesn't make sense

[Karkat]

Ok, I don't know if you've looked into this or not, but this sounds a LOT like mania.

The last manic episode (I keep getting tempted to call them attacks because they never turn out well for me) I had I broke up with my boyfriend and nearly downed a bottle of ibuprofen. I detached myself from all and any negative emotions. I detached myself from and denied my mental illnesses. I was perfect. I could do no wrong, and if I did, it was meant to be.

At one point, I literally believed I was god. Or a god.

I hit myself just because pain didn't effect me. Tore my hair out. Tortured myself without feeling a thing. I didn't sleep for days, and I'd still be hyper and alert. Everything was vivid, but somehow distant.

So pretty freaking close to what you described.

Anyways, regardless, I am here to talk as well.

Edit: I feel it important to note that I too thought I had schizophrenia. Mania can be a part of schizophrenia, and in other disorders it can mimic a lot of what schizophrenia looks like.

But seriously like, I was almost medicated for schizophrenia at one point in time because I was convinced, and it sounded so much like it, but I was too...I don't know, it wasn't quite consistent enough, or strong enough.

[plebble]

I'd be more than happy to talk to you!
That was beautifully written by the way, you must be good at poetry and have a wide imagination!

[imthomas]

We're here for you