Input please?

[Etcetera]

Okay. My brother is in 4th grade and because he's "special," he's targeted a lot.
The fact that we live in an area that is very diverse, his school just happens to be the elementary school which is mostly made up of hispanic children. I'm not saying anything against hispanics, but at this school they do target the white kids, a lot. And so do the black kids... and that's wrong. But as soon as one of the white kids does anything back to them in defense, it's made into a huge race issue and they blow it up saying that the white kid was being racist.

My brother only has two white kids in his class, him and another little boy. Well a bunch of the little hispanic boys in his class, along with a little black boy, have been bullying him quite severely since the beginning of the year. My brother is not a wimp, he just doesn't know how to take or handle things like that. Because like I said, he's special.

A couple months ago, he told me a phrase (which was "Shut up, you evil little shit" in spanish.) I asked him why he was asking that and he said that a kid (Charlie, he's the ringleader of the bullying against him and he's hispanic) in his class had told him that because the teacher paired them together for a group assignment, and Will got mad because it was all hispanic kids and instead of working on the project, they were conversing in spanish (which he clearly doesn't understand) and wouldn't talk to him in english. So then Charlie told him that.

Last week they were bashing him, calling him gay because he has a speech impediment.
It's just getting out of hand. So I thought, maybe when they start saying crap to him if I gave him a phrase in spanish to say to them that was an insult kinda, then it might make them back off.

1) Do you guys think this is a race issue, or something else?
2) What could we do here? Dad's already been to the school. The principal supports it all, she doesn't care if the white kids get bullied and she pretty much told him that.
3) Anything you suggest that he say that doesn't involve cussing? Preferably in spanish, I think it would work better for them.

[Melodic]

You'll get a better response here.


The White Padded Room :arrow2: Family and Friends

[Karkat]

1) Do you guys think this is a race issue, or something else?

As someone who can see most sides of this situation- it's definitely race. I remember when I was the one picking on the white kid. And it was awful. Sometimes, I'd soften up to him and we were friends, but the rest of the time I would physically beat him until he sobbed. It's actually really painful to think about, and I think the only reason I did it was because the other colored boys pressured me to be like them.

This kid doesn't sound remorseful though.

I also understand the exclusion part. Ironically, no matter what I did, I'd always be excluded- especially because I wasn't good with Spanish. I think it kind of shut me off from a young age, and I still get terrible amounts of anxiety trying to speak it.

So I was looked at as the white kid. I could only belong to their posse as a grunt, but I could never really be one of them. Even the ones who only spoke English excluded me.

Even in middle school, I got paired with a bunch of native Spanish speakers along with my best friend (who is very much white, not that it's a bad thing. She just reminds me of my sister in that aspect.) and I made the utter mistake of mentioning that I knew Spanish. They were arrogant, and turned it around on me to make me look stupid and pretentious in front of my friend. Constantly. It didn't help that she had a crush on the sort of 'ringmaster'.

Funny thing was, I was actually friends with all of them, they just stuck their noses up at me for not being a native speaker. I was the white kid, I didn't belong.

In 5th grade I was actually physically and verbally attacked constantly by a black guy, but he had a really messed up home life. I don't really blame him. He was just taking it out on me because he figured I was the best one to take it I guess.

But I've been both the 'hispanic' kid and the 'white' kid in this situation, and it's totally an exclusion thing. It's also a BOY thing. Girls can do it a lot, but the "gay" bit is SUCH a boy thing at that age.

I was called "fag" CONSTANTLY.

"Gay"

"Queer"

"Tranny"

"Sicko"

Looking back on my childhood I'm actually really confused, but oh well. There's a thing called therapy for that.

But I had ADHD. I was different. I may or may not be on the autism spectrum, which would explain a lot as well. Not to mention the serious issues of gender I suddenly see rampant but that wasn't even ME for the most part.

ANYWAYS. Boys at that age, especially the more aggressive, (almost clique-like) types are starting to shove around their masculinity, and well if you're not manly enough for them (and if you're not cool to them, you aren't.) you must be gay, or a girl.

2) What could we do here? Dad's already been to the school. The principal supports it all, she doesn't care if the white kids get bullied and she pretty much told him that.

Go above her head. Tell the superintendent or the school board, possibly even get a lawyer if you can afford one. If nothing else, consider homeschool or switching schools if it's something you can do.

3) Anything you suggest that he say that doesn't involve cussing? Preferably in spanish, I think it would work better for them.

Uhhhhh

Spanish insults are so intertwined with swears, I'm not even sure.

I'm sure there is, it is just NOT coming to me at this present time.

It's hard enough to insult someone in English without foul language. Not so much the limited vocabulary as sometimes it just goes right over their heads

And these are fourth graders we're talking about here. I'll have to get back to you on this.

[Ethe14]

1) Do you guys think this is a race issue, or something else?

Yup a race issue, if he says anything. Mean or nasty to a minority or other nationality it's immediately racist but if they say something mean he has to suck it up.


2) What could we do here? Dad's already been to the school. The principal supports it all, she doesn't care if the white kids get bullied and she pretty much told him that.

Talk to the superintendent, get a lawyer. This is a double standard and mean especially for a fourth grader! Also if all else fails move to a different school district.

3) Anything you suggest that he say that doesn't involve cussing? Preferably in spanish, I think it would work better for them.

Well most insults involve cussing so I've got nothing for ya, but I would suggest that he not say anything and have your parents and the adults deal with it. Also have your parents talked to this kids parents?

[Karkat]

1) Do you guys think this is a race issue, or something else?

Yup a race issue, if he says anything. Mean or nasty to a minority or other nationality it's immediately racist but if they say something mean he has to suck it up.


While I agree with you, it's more than that, even. If there aren't a lot of white kids to stick together and defend themselves, it's like revenge. It's actually pretty sad, but it's brutal.

And if you're anything in between/ a bystander whose race/culture/whatever is also small in number, you either join in, or you become the target too

Like small gangs, in a way, even.

And if you're a minority, and you're small in number, it's whoever is biggest. Turf wars.

Girls usually aren't as seriously a part of it. They definitely CAN be, but they're usually not outright violent like the boys can be.

Like, I've been on both sides of this to some extent.

It's kind of sad how much racism is even in elementary schools. Things were definitely never like this in kindergarten. But then again I DID go to kindergarten like 12 years ago. (what, has it really been that long??)

[Ethe14]

While I agree with you, it's more than that, even. If there aren't a lot of white kids to stick together and defend themselves, it's like revenge. It's actually pretty sad, but it's brutal.

And if you're anything in between/ a bystander whose race/culture/whatever is also small in number, you either join in, or you become the target too

Like small gangs, in a way, even.

And if you're a minority, and you're small in number, it's whoever is biggest. Turf wars.

Girls usually aren't as seriously a part of it. They definitely CAN be, but they're usually not outright violent like the boys can be.

Like, I've been on both sides of this to some extent.

It's kind of sad how much racism is even in elementary schools. Things were definitely never like this in kindergarten. But then again I DID go to kindergarten like 12 years ago. (what, has it really been that long??)


Well in my grandparents generation (baby boomer gen) they were horribly racist and I guess were coming back to the old ways. But to the OP I would seriously consider a lawyer or talking to the bullies parents.

[Karkat]

Well in my grandparents generation (baby boomer gen) they were horribly racist and I guess were coming back to the old ways. But to the OP I would seriously consider a lawyer or talking to the bullies parents.

Yes and yes.

It makes me sad how POC mock white people for being bullied by POC.

"You have white privilege so it doesn't matter"

"No one's going to oppress you, you're a cis white male"

"They told you to kill yourself? Haha you're a loser."


Which is actually a fair part of why I don't get on Tumblr anymore.

As someone of mixed race, it makes my blood boil when either side acts this way. Being oppressed doesn't give you an excuse to be an asshole.

[Etcetera]

Well in my grandparents generation (baby boomer gen) they were horribly racist and I guess were coming back to the old ways. But to the OP I would seriously consider a lawyer or talking to the bullies parents.

Yes and yes.

It just really is getting out of hand, and I know he's gonna go to middle school and later high school with these same kids.

Dad's threatened to go to the superintendant. I think it's more of a race thing, but the reason they were calling him gay was the way he talks (which he can't help.)

I know this because:
"You're gay" over and over and over
but then:
"Why else would you talk like that?"
"Gay wad."
"Stop being so gay, stop talking like that."

And it continues.

[Ethe14]

It just really is getting out of hand, and I know he's gonna go to middle school and later high school with these same kids.

Dad's threatened to go to the superintendant. I think it's more of a race thing, but the reason they were calling him gay was the way he talks (which he can't help.)

I know this because:
"You're gay" over and over and over
but then:
"Why else would you talk like that?"
"Gay wad."
"Stop being so gay, stop talking like that."

And it continues.


Has he talked to their parents though? Maybe their parents are a more effective of way to get their kids to stop.

[Etcetera]

Has he talked to their parents though? Maybe their parents are a more effective of way to get their kids to stop.

No, people don't do that here.
But even if he tried they probably don't even speak english judging by our city. Most of the parents of the hispanic kids in our schools don't speak english. Any and every paper which goes home has to have a english side and a spanish side. Every single one.

[Ethe14]

No, people don't do that here.
But even if he tried they probably don't even speak english judging by our city. Most of the parents of the hispanic kids in our schools don't speak english. Any and every paper which goes home has to have a english side and a spanish side. Every single one.

Oh ok well than I can only suggest a bilingual lawyer or talk to a higher authoritative person in the district.

[DiamondsGirl]

haven't read any posts above me so I'm sorry if I repeated anything but sweetheart leave that school. If the fact that the principal supports bullying is not enough reason, I don't know what is. If need be, leave the town! :( big hugs you're an amazing person to care so much about your brother xxx

[Ethe14]

No, people don't do that here.
But even if he tried they probably don't even speak english judging by our city. Most of the parents of the hispanic kids in our schools don't speak english. Any and every paper which goes home has to have a english side and a spanish side. Every single one.

Have your parents considered just taking him out of that school?

[ScottishCanary]

After reading the OPs contribution and skimming over the responses, I have to agree with most of the respondents that there's a race issue here. Here in the UK we don't have Hispanics as such and Spanish folk like me are just treated like whites in terms of race. Though some schools do have trouble with minorities bullying others and getting away with it. Often the teachers are too scared to deal with disciplining the black or Asian kids at our school as they fear bring labeled as racist. I would take it up with the school board or whoever is the next stage up to the principal. This needs to be sorted out and don't let poeple be too scared to stand up to Hispanics! From a Hispanic myself tell your brother that there are nice Hispanics it there who think what they are doing is disgraceful and an insult to us as a race!

As for Spanish words "Dejame en paz" is simply "Leave me be" or "Leave me alone"

[Etcetera]

Often the teachers are too scared to deal with disciplining the black or Asian kids at our school as they fear bring labeled as racist.

That's exactly it. If he does anything back, it's blown up huge. They aren't physical towards him (which is good because I would hurt some little kids if they were) but they taunt him every day. He cries because he doesn't want to go to school.

haven't read any posts above me so I'm sorry if I repeated anything but sweetheart leave that school. If the fact that the principal supports bullying is not enough reason, I don't know what is. If need be, leave the town! :( big hugs you're an amazing person to care so much about your brother xxx

I've suggested that to my parents, mom said it wasn't worth it.
Also, that principal is retiring at the end of this year, so I think that has to do with it as well. I think she's doing just what she has to do keep her job and then she's gone. It's wrong, but that's what she's doing.
It makes me mad because he can't help the way he is, and I know what it's like. I've been bullied since kindergarten, and my brother and I share some of the same issues. So I don't want him to go through it if I can help it.


He has a learning disability as well as ADHD and dyslexia. So he has an IEP and gets some help and goes to another "special class" as he calls it, during the day for tutoring as well as speech. I think it's already frustrating for him because he has trouble getting the words out and he struggles with it, and when others point that out or mock him for it, it hurts his feelings. I have to interpret for him a lot because he gets frustrated because other people can't understand him. And he wants to be "normal" and not be going to other rooms and not having to have special testing, but there's nothing that can change that. The other kids really single him out for it. It makes me really mad, because I get done the same way but me even if I can't help myself I try my best to help other people.

[ScottishCanary]

I wouldn't let this go, often when these 'awkward' situations show up for teachers their first response is always to ignore it and hope it goes away. What to do is to keep pressuring the teachers and principal to act on this. If you need to take it further then do so. The teachers are not supporting your brother by just ignoring it because it's racially awkward. I wish your family the very best. No kid , special or not, deserves to be bullied.

[Etcetera]

I wouldn't let this go, often when these 'awkward' situations show up for teachers their first response is always to ignore it and hope it goes away. What to do is to keep pressuring the teachers and principal to act on this. If you need to take it further then do so. The teachers are not supporting your brother by just ignoring it because it's racially awkward. I wish your family the very best. No kid , special or not, deserves to be bullied.


Yeah and my sister is being bullied too. She's in 5th. I don't know if that one's a race issue or not.. but I told her to talk to her teacher today and she said she would. My concern in her situation is that she's going to middle school next year with these kids and middle school tends to be worse. You would think that they would do something considering the way my brother is, but from my personal experience, I've found that a lot of times they don't care unless forced to care.

[ScottishCanary]

You would think that they would do something considering the way my brother is, but from my personal experience, I've found that a lot of times they don't care unless forced to care.

In my experience you have to force them to care. We had a situation where a gang of Asian kids at our school was causing trouble for a load of geeky and loner type kids and the teachers let it happen as they feared if they tackled it, the Asian kids would cry out racism. Eventually parents got so fed up they ended up emailing the principal and threatening to all go to the school board together and ask for an investigation. Only then that their jobs were on the line did they talk to the bullies.

[DiamondsGirl]

I don't know how it is in your country, but in mine we have this school built for special-needs kids. No one's going to a separate classroom because everyone has problems. The teachers are also much more understanding and patient. I'm sorry I'm not helping because these aren't your words, but I really don't see why moving out is "not worth it" :( every child deserves to have bully-free environment. Personally, I wouldn't care whether the principal is going to step down or not. I'd pack my kids and leave immediately. If the teachers can't be reasoned with, I'd say as the eldest child you should voice your concerns to your parents and hopefully get all your siblings transferred to a better school.

[Etcetera]

I don't know how it is in your country, but in mine we have this school built for special-needs kids. No one's going to a separate classroom because everyone has problems. The teachers are also much more understanding and patient. I'm sorry I'm not helping because these aren't your words, but I really don't see why moving out is "not worth it" :( every child deserves to have bully-free environment. Personally, I wouldn't care whether the principal is going to step down or not. I'd pack my kids and leave immediately. If the teachers can't be reasoned with, I'd say as the eldest child you should voice your concerns to your parents and hopefully get all your siblings transferred to a better school.

Well, I wouldn't really classify him as special needs. Yes, he has an IEP and he needs a lot of extra help. He doesn't like have autism or downs or anything, he just has some issues, and I do too. We both have IEP's, but we are not special needs. I do have a disability, but I am not special needs, we are both in public schools. I'm a senior this year and have never been in any school other than public school.

His IEP specifies that he gets a separate classroom setting for testing and for tutoring. He is a math genius, I swear. Like he does everything in his head instead of working it out on paper like everyone else does. That's a problem for him though because they want him to show his work but it's hard for him to get it from his head to the paper. He is in 4th grade and is on the level of like a 1st grader in reading.

My mom thinks that it isn't worth the trouble because the rest of this year and then his fifth grade year will be all that he has left until middle school. Our middle schools start in 6th grade. And also, he has a twin sister, so that would mean pulling her out of the school too. I do think he needs to go to another school, as the one that he is at is like one of the five in our school system. There's plenty of other options, and from what I've heard from my friends (high school), the one my siblings are currently at is the worst of the five.

It just really bothers me. And I really don't think they are giving him the proper help that he really needs either, because he comes home mad or crying. When he's mad it's because of crap at school and it's causing strife at home.

[Karkat]

From a Hispanic myself tell your brother that there are nice Hispanics it there who think what they are doing is disgraceful and an insult to us as a race!

As for Spanish words "Dejame en paz" is simply "Leave me be" or "Leave me alone"

Agreed.