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Captain Who
April 9th, 2018, 05:29 PM
So basically, I’ll cut a long story short. I’ve replaced real names.
You can skip to the end for the question. Apologies for grammatical errors.

I’m at a friends birthday party, his name is Harry. Hardy has a friend (also my friend) called Andy. Andy seems to like me a lot, that is confirmed when Harry tries to get me and him together. However, I do not like Andy in that way. Me being awkward just ran out of the room when Andy tries to tell me he likes me.

A day or so later I’m at the pub with Andy, Harry and a group of others. This guy called John pipes up and starts teasing Andy about me, in front of me. It makes me feel uncomfortable but I put up with it because everyone else found it funny and I didn’t want to be a party pooper. Then on the Friday there is a party at this guy’s house called Jim. Jim is a nice guy. Harry is trying to get me and Andy together again, I opt out and go to bed. Not having it.

A few pub trips and excessive teasing from John to Andy later, I’m t my friend Bob’s party. These parties are usually fun and eventful. Jim is there and manages to get me absolutely sozzled. I’m throwing up over the toilet (classic me) and Jim is taking care of me at least 65% of the time and we share some pretty deep stuff. He is attractive and I might say that after a sober conversation a few days later I kinda like him.

Then the following Monday after Bob’s party, Harry, Andy, John and Jim are together at the pub. They video call this group chat and Jim and Harry (mostly Jim) are still going at it strong trying to find out if I like Andy but in such a way that I couldn’t get a meaningful word in.

The question is: how do I get them to stop teasing Andy because even if he likes me, I don’t like him like that and it’s awkward for me because it means that I lose potential with this guy that I actually do kinda like (Jim)?

Alumni
April 9th, 2018, 07:32 PM
Just kinda hint on it. Don't pull on the topic too long, just demonstrate a feeling of 'not interested'.

With Jim, I'd just show more interest into him, spend more time. Get to know him. Don't be awkward. At the same time, you don't want to push the group into it.

I dunno, my ex was good at separating us and them.

Just JT
April 9th, 2018, 09:20 PM
I think they keep doing this maybe cause you respond to their teasing. So maybe just don’t respond to the teasing at all. Simply emotionless.
They’ll stop

ska8er
April 10th, 2018, 06:34 AM
Just tell them Andy is Just a friend
and leave it at that. The more u
respond to their teasing the more
they will annoy u.

NewLeafsFan
April 11th, 2018, 03:45 AM
Your group seems to have a lot of communication issues.

You need to talk to Andy privately and tell him that you consider is interest in you a huge compliment, but he just isn't what you are looking for. Put him down gently.

Secondly, talk privately to Harry. Tell him that he needs to stop trying to set you up with Andy. It is only making things worse between him, you, and everybody in your group.

Lastly, speak to the guys that are teasing Andy. Explain that you respectively rejected him and that you aren't sure how he is managing. Unless your friends are totally brain dead they will realize that the teasing needs to stop immediately. If it continues, tell them bluntly infront of everyone that their comments are hurtful and extremely inappropriate.