Is it okay to have plans for the future with a boy I met online?

[headhunterbg]

Hi,
I'm a 16 year old boy, I'm gay and I'll try to explain my situation as short as I can.
Two months ago I started my first relationship with another boy, who unfortunately lives far away from me (I'm from Germany and he is from Portugal) and ever since we talk about all kinds of stuff and I really love him.
Time passed and we already knew a lot about each other, we became close and shared everything we do throughout the days.
Everything seemed innocent enough until he suggested to come in Germany and start a life with me when he turns 18. At first I agreed without doubt, but later I realized the risks and dangers, especially considering that my parents still don't know my sexual preference. It's hard to decide if I want to start this, because I'm afraid what will happen between me and my family, what people will think about me and if I am capable of living like an adult that early.
I'm really confused, because I don't want to just refuse him and end everything, but at the same time if I agree, the risk is really big.That's why I decided to ask for an advice or maybe an opinion about this whole thing.
Thanks in advance!

[ska8er]

U have to tell him that u would like
to meet him but ur not Out and it will
cause a lot of personal problems. Its
best just to keep the online relationship
for the present. If u come Out before that
then u might b more comfortable with him
visiting u.

[CoryW]

Why not find somebody closer , you might be making a big mistake.

[Just JT]

That’s a long distance to have a relationship bro
And once you meet him with those intentions it may not be like you see it now
I don’t think making plans is a bad thing but make the right plans
Maybe meet first for a weekend or something

But people on your and his family need to be o board about this to, and be really really careful

[mick01]

Idk dude, there are a lot of issues with your plans. Forget about the distance. There is no way you should be making long term plans with someone you've known only 2 months. It wouldn't matter if he lived next door. You have to tell him it's way too early to make a commitment like that.
Next you have to decide what to do about your family. At some point, you probably need to talk to them.

[SpicyCurryyy]

I think you should be giving it more time. It's only been 2 months. You also still have to come out. Take it slow.

[NewLeafsFan]

To me, your post asks two questions: If you should/how/when to come out as gay to your family and what to do with this online relationship.

You are old enough to have figured out your sexuality. I have no idea how accepting your family and friends are. Start by telling people that you know will be supportive so that they can support you if anyone rejects you because of it. You need to do this now. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.

Once you've done that, and only once you've done that do you have an important conversation with your online boyfriend. Explain to him that you understand that dating someone online is a lot different then dating someone in person. Seeing each other, becoming a bigger part of that persons life, and going through life together is totally different. Tell him that you would love for him to move closer to you but that you are not ready to entirely start a life with him but if he does move closer, you are willing to start a normal dating relationship with him. (See him often, spend time with him, etc.) Do NOT send him money to move closer to you or come visit. The first few times that you see him should also be in public settings.

[Ethan19]

I'm a firm believer in you come out when you're ready. I don't believe you should rush it at all. My boyfriend came out to his parents only this year, we've been together since 2014 (he's also german). So, don't rush it, you'll know when you're ready for that.

As for the plans, it's too soon. If you planned a holiday for a couple of days together nearby. I would say that's reasonable. I agree with mick01 on his first paragraph.

[Ben7]

As many have said, you need to know him better before any serious commitment. You should tell him you'd like to meet him (i.e. just when he visits you guys can hang out for a weekend or something) and get to know him in person. I wouldn't rush anything though. Tell him you'd like to meet him but are not yet ready for any serious commitment.