The Trendy Wolf
March 9th, 2014, 06:52 PM
A lot has been happening in my life recently, and the majority is in reference to my rising mental issues. Unknown to me until now, I was severely depressed back in elementary school due to the constant verbal abuse that I endured from other groups of kids. Going in to third grade, I passed the GT exam that was required for me to become part of the advanced academic program. This program also required that I switched schools, and in doing so leaving my few friends that I had behind. I have always had a difficulty making friends and keeping them, mainly due to my severe ADHD and combined shyness, and going to the new school caused me to become isolated, as I was unable to find a group of friends that both liked me and I enjoyed being a part of. Isolation eventually turned into independence, and once I began accepting my seemingly unlikable personality, I thrived in school and in sports.
That prolonged loneliness and bullying has come back worse than before, with added severe Anxiety along with the Depression and ADHD. Now, in my first year of high school, I simply cannot find the right motivation to get any homework done, and to make things even worse, my ADHD medication has been irritating and increasing my anxiety in school. I have sought out psychological assistance by my own will, but they are still trying to diagnose my situation correctly before providing therapy. However, this leaves my parents most of the responsibility for making me complete homework for school, but they have not been very successful in their attempts.
My parents, despite all that they know, still don't seem to understand or sympathize for my situation. My mother only threatens me or tells me the consequences if I don't do my homework. She even says that she's going to videotape my behavior, but luckily my dad is able to step in and confront her actions, telling her that she's only making things worse. My mother says that she doesn't understand my behavior and inability to do homework, she only sees with her eyes. What my mother does and says is comparable to bullying, saying how others would think I'm weird. First of all, I know that I'm weird, and she still thinks that I care what others think of me? She still believes I care about the consequences. She uses fear to try and motivate me.
My mother only tells me to do my homework, do this, do that, without any hesitation, and she expects me to do it no matter what. Seems reasonable to her, but given my own anxiety, depression, and aggression, you'd assume that she would try to motivate me in positive ways. She even sounds threatening, yet she becomes angrier still when I yell back, when I walk away, or when I'm silent. At times, ironically, I feel as if she is out of her mind with her parenting methods.
My dad, on the other hand, is much more passive in his ways of motivation. He's a business man, so of course he must have some experience with psychology and getting people to work. He's calm when talking to me, and sometimes I feel the need to obey him rather than my mother, just simply in an act of defiance.
My family has been fighting a lot lately, and there's tension and stress in all our lives. There are times when I truly worry not only for my own mental condition, but for the rest of my family's as well.
That prolonged loneliness and bullying has come back worse than before, with added severe Anxiety along with the Depression and ADHD. Now, in my first year of high school, I simply cannot find the right motivation to get any homework done, and to make things even worse, my ADHD medication has been irritating and increasing my anxiety in school. I have sought out psychological assistance by my own will, but they are still trying to diagnose my situation correctly before providing therapy. However, this leaves my parents most of the responsibility for making me complete homework for school, but they have not been very successful in their attempts.
My parents, despite all that they know, still don't seem to understand or sympathize for my situation. My mother only threatens me or tells me the consequences if I don't do my homework. She even says that she's going to videotape my behavior, but luckily my dad is able to step in and confront her actions, telling her that she's only making things worse. My mother says that she doesn't understand my behavior and inability to do homework, she only sees with her eyes. What my mother does and says is comparable to bullying, saying how others would think I'm weird. First of all, I know that I'm weird, and she still thinks that I care what others think of me? She still believes I care about the consequences. She uses fear to try and motivate me.
My mother only tells me to do my homework, do this, do that, without any hesitation, and she expects me to do it no matter what. Seems reasonable to her, but given my own anxiety, depression, and aggression, you'd assume that she would try to motivate me in positive ways. She even sounds threatening, yet she becomes angrier still when I yell back, when I walk away, or when I'm silent. At times, ironically, I feel as if she is out of her mind with her parenting methods.
My dad, on the other hand, is much more passive in his ways of motivation. He's a business man, so of course he must have some experience with psychology and getting people to work. He's calm when talking to me, and sometimes I feel the need to obey him rather than my mother, just simply in an act of defiance.
My family has been fighting a lot lately, and there's tension and stress in all our lives. There are times when I truly worry not only for my own mental condition, but for the rest of my family's as well.