Contemplating Suicide:I can't do this anymore

[Xephinar]

I've been contemplating suicide for awhile.But now I just really want to go through with my plan. I've been "researching" for awhile, & I now finally picked out what I was going to use.

I want to die, I do not want to see another day. Everyday is torture. I am almost always depressed. I can never have fun & I have no joy.

[Seemyheart]

Please don't kill yourself. I don't know you, and I don't know what you've been through or what you are going through now, but I do know that I want you to not actually go through with your plan...
If you want to talk, ever, feel free to send me a VM. I want to try and help as much as I can

[Karkat]

Please don't kill yourself. I don't know you, and I don't know what you've been through or what you are going through now, but I do know that I want you to not actually go through with your plan...
If you want to talk, ever, feel free to send me a VM. I want to try and help as much as I can

Absolutely same here. Please don't do it. It's not worth it. I'm horribly depressed, and I can even recognize that (usually). I constantly think to myself "If I actually succeeded in killing myself (that particular time), I wouldn't have gotten to do this/see this/experience this." And I'm overwhelmingly thankful that I'm still here today.

Heck, my most recent attempt was last Thursday. Since then, I've gotten a haircut and gained an INCREDIBLE amount of self-esteem, being able to portray myself as male as well as female, and I've even come out as being bigender. I wouldn't have been able to do that if I died last Thursday.

Please, just, think over it another week. Call a hotline or talk to a friend if you're feeling like you're going to go through with it. If you can't do it for you, do it for me. Please.

[PinkFloyd]

Listen man, I don't know you, but this thread really hit me hard. Please don't make that final decision because it's one that you can't reverse. I know the whole concept of not being able to reverse it is probably very appealing to you, but you will hurt so many people without knowing it. Your friends older sister that doesn't even know you will sob over your death. Your family (no matter how bad they seem) will be in deep sorrow forever.

So I ask you, please don't do it. There is hope. I promise. If you want someone to talk to, do not hesitate from asking me. I'll talk to you and help the best I can.

[ScottishCanary]

Please don't do anything stupid. Suicide is never the answer and will just make your loved ones very upset indeed. If you are really feeling exceedingly low you need to find someone you trust to talk to. Try to find a suicide hotline near where you live and talk to them, they are trained to speak to people just like you and will listen to what you have to say. Things will get better, don't throw your life away for some temporary sadness. Really wish you the very best and take care *hug*

[Croconaw]

Don't commit suicide. We're here to help.

[Xephinar]

I just do not see why I should live. I barely have friends anymore, people are bullying me, & no one treats me great. I feel so worthless. I have wait two year for things to get better,they get worse. I just want to be done, & gone.

[Seemyheart]

This is just a small part of life though... once you get passed all of the stuff that's troubling you now, soo many doors are going to open for you and soo many great times will surely follow
Don't give up please? You'll be cheating yourself out on a long life

[DeadEyes]

I've been contemplating suicide for awhile.But now I just really want to go through with my plan. I've been "researching" for awhile, & I now finally picked out what I was going to use.

I want to die, I do not want to see another day. Everyday is torture. I am almost always depressed. I can never have fun & I have no joy.

Of course, you will get the usual, please don't do it, don't do something stupid etc. but honestly, pardon me for being so blunt, it doesn't help anything.
The key word here is depression and the only way to get through a real depression is to seek professional help, it's a matter of life and death, literally.
Having meds prescribed can really help you through it.

[ninja789]

a lot of us have been there
don't do it

I cant describe how glad I am a friend stopped me from ending it
please don't do it

[RedViper]

I can't really offer anything, but for me to say feel free to send me a VM whenever. Even if it's just to chat about your favourite band or how much of a bitch your teacher is or that hot person that smiled at you that one time. I may not be able to do much, but I'm always here for anyone who feels like that. I just want you to know that you are never alone

[Karkat]

This is just a small part of life though... once you get passed all of the stuff that's troubling you now, soo many doors are going to open for you and soo many great times will surely follow
Don't give up please? You'll be cheating yourself out on a long life

Of course, you will get the usual, please don't do it, don't do something stupid etc. but honestly, pardon me for being so blunt, it doesn't help anything.
The key word here is depression and the only way to get through a real depression is to seek professional help, it's a matter of life and death, literally.
Having meds prescribed can really help you through it.

Absolutely agree with these two. You know what? I've been in times when I had NOBODY. My parents weren't there for me, I had no friends for the most part, it seemed helpless.

I was raped just mere months before. I felt disgusting. Weak. Hopeless. Unlovable. I started drinking a lot. I started burning myself, doing horrible things to myself. Calling myself horrible names. I tried to kill myself many times that year.

That was three years ago. Today, I have a lot of close friends (I'm actually going to steal two of them to move in with me once I move out with my boyfriend), a wonderful boyfriend who is soon to be my fiance, I've come a long ways in a lot of things. I'm sober from alcohol for a year and a half on the 25th.

It may not be soon, but a time will come when you can get past these feelings.

And you know what? I still have my days. Some days, I feel like a horrible, unlovable prick. I feel like a disgusting junkie. I look at my boyfriend and think "He deserves so much better than this." I just want to take myself out of the equation. I wish I'd never been born, never entered the lives of everyone who cares about me. I feel like a huge fucking disappointment.

But somehow, I always end up failing. I'm still here, obviously.

I've had near death experiences with suicide probably close to five times, if not more. By near death I mean alcohol poisoning, near drowning, near strangulation, near suffocation, beating myself near-death.

All of these times that I've been so close, I've passed out. Somehow, I wake up, and I'm not dead. Something happens. Who knows if it's an unconscious will to live, or just some freak coincidence, but I'm still here.

In fact, I kind of refuse to die. I've been lost in the desert for hours as a kid, I nearly drowned in an irrigation ditch at 7, I've had alcohol poisoning, I've gotten hypothermia by walking around town drunk in the middle of night in the middle of winter without enough clothing on. When I was raped, I was beaten within inches of my life by the guy. Recently, I passed out at work, and they barely got me to regain consciousness before toting me off in an ambulance. Who knows why. We're still figuring that one out. It's like I'm charmed, though I don't believe in such a thing.

Point being that I'm still here. Even after all of this.

And while I get so depressed that I continually try to kill myself- February 27th was my last attempt- I'm still here. And I'm thankful for it every minute I can be.

Even though I still struggle, I have everything to live for, and nothing to die for.

And who knows, even if your circumstances get better, you might still have these feelings. We just have to work through them. We have to make sure we keep ourselves safe, and learn to live for ourselves- sometimes it's hard to appreciate that the one thing we will always have is ourselves. When we kill ourselves, we take the one thing that matters most away. We're not being fair to ourselves, we're not being fair to the people who love us, the people who need us. And it's SO hard to see that when you feel that low. I know. But life is usually a battle worth fighting.

a lot of us have been there
don't do it

I cant describe how glad I am a friend stopped me from ending it
please don't do it

I can relate to this a lot. My boyfriend has helped me through feeling suicidal so much. Once upon a time, no one was there to do that. Absolutely no one. For the most part, no one other than my family would've cared if I was gone, and they made it quite clear to me. Now, I have someone who literally devotes most of their life to showing me how much they care. Actually, I have a few.

Sometimes, you don't realize who you have until you need someone. Or even after you need someone- but if you don't ask for help, you'll never know who will give it.

I feel like the fact that you're posting on here means that deep down, something inside of you doesn't want to die. You want to live, and this is a cry for help. Please, I'm trying to help as much as I can. And if what I'm saying is good enough, please listen to all these other lovely people- they care just as much as I do. If not more.

[EpicSongFan]

I just do not see why I should live. I barely have friends anymore, people are bullying me, & no one treats me great. I feel so worthless. I have wait two year for things to get better,they get worse. I just want to be done, & gone.

I planned on committing suicide when I was 14 cause I felt so lonely. Like you, I felt that everyday was a torture. I also thought about my family. What would they feel if I had committed suicide ?? I would only lead them into depression too. I lost a friend when I was 15 and I gotten myself into depression again for 2 years too. I had to change school in order to forget the past. I got help from my mother and I got better over time. I thought that seeking help was useless, but I was wrong. The pain will remain, but perseverance is the key for me and I've got better recently last year. These are challenges that some people like us have to face in order to get stronger.

I've never told anyone about this but my mother. So this is the first time I'm telling anyone since my mother.

[Karkat]

I planned on committing suicide when I was 14 cause I felt so lonely. Like you, I felt that everyday was a torture. I also thought about my family. What would they feel if I had committed suicide ?? I would only lead them into depression too. I lost a friend when I was 15 and I gotten myself into depression again for 2 years too. I had to change school in order to forget the past. I got help from my mother and I got better over time. I thought that seeking help was useless, but I was wrong. The pain will remain, but perseverance is the key for me and I've got better recently last year. These are challenges that some people like us have to face in order to get stronger.

I've never told anyone about this but my mother. So this is the first time I'm telling anyone since my mother.

I'm proud of you for staying so strong. :) This is a wonderful story, and you have excellent advice.

I hope things continue to get better for you. :)

[Jackman1800]

Don't kill yourself. I tried it once. It was the worst decision of my life. Things do get better. If you ever want to talk, I'll listen

[backjruton]

I remember the severe depressive position I was in after one of my cats was put down around 3 years ago. It hit me so hard I was upset for MONTHS, couldn't stop crying, always felt grumpy, wasn't happy, couldn't think straight (which I still can't but I'm happier now) and I was also thinking about this at that point... not severely or seriously, just crossed my mind I guess because of how upset I was, and my parents knew how I felt.. even though we only found about me being on the spectrum just under 2 years ago they've known I've had a disability for the past 6 years and I guess my problems with attachment are a big part of that. I considered that cat as my sister, literally, especially because she was called Jess Bruton on the VET records which made me quite upset too, and after she was put down (because somehow the idiot managed to break all 4 of her legs ... at different times, 2 the first time which were repaired then the other 2 which they didn't get repaired) I couldn't see me ever getting out of this. I switched form groups in school because I knew being in the same group as more of my friends would help me out because I was in a group with total ass holes before and in a way it helped but I still had problems at home.

I know suicide is a bad thing to do and has very negative impacts on family because ... I didn't ever get to know my uncle, but my mum still keeps complaining about him on his birthday, how bad it made her feel that she couldn't help him with his money problems as he killed himself because he was in a lot of debt and couldn't get out of it. Don't do it if you really care about other people; my brother even said before that if I did it he would too because he'd be extremely upset. Anyway, I know my brain.. I've had this kind of thing SO many times in the past and I've cheered up not long after; I remember once I spoke to my form tutor about the thoughts about death I kept having (because for some reason after being diagnosed autistic I was EXTREMELY grumpy and stressed out even more than I was before) but I had a haircut the next weekend and that suddenly made me feel happier just because... I have no idea. You just never know if you will suddenly cheer up the next day, you might not always be in a mess.


Heck, my most recent attempt was last Thursday. Since then, I've gotten a haircut and gained an INCREDIBLE amount of self-esteem, being able to portray myself as male as well as female, and I've even come out as being bigender. I wouldn't have been able to do that if I died last Thursday.

This is great. I won't come out as gay because I'm still not too sure how I feel and I don't want to be too specific with anyone although I've told people the situation I'm in and they all said I'm most likely gay anyway. The haircut too... glad to see I'm not the only one who is in a better mood with short hair :D It's kinda weird really though, I THINK my dad said he doesn't think of me as gay as I'm not feminine enough, although I guess I just wanted to come out before I started to act more like it... I like Mika and Scissor Sisters, common stereotypes I think, but hardly anyone knows about that. I remember speaking to my form tutor about the death thing, because for 2 weeks or something I really felt like shit and couldn't do anything properly, but then sometime the next week I told her I'd cheered up after my haircut and I think I worried her a little because of how weird it sounded but it's true anyway :D

(In school I was always told my main problem in English was sentence structure, where I put my full stops and commas and my use of more complicated words, so this might be hard to understand XD, and I think I got carried away writing this again... :D)

[Stepney]

Don't even think of it. I have contemplated it too, I talked myself out of it. I get winder depression very easily. Think of other people you know, how would they feel? I finally grew out of it, but last year for me was a very terrible thing. Think positive, do what you like to do. That's what I did.

[imthomas]

I know the feeling. I went through with my plan and I botched it. The following Weeks were the worst of my life. So please don't do anything

[Fanta_Lover44]

We always have the feeling, we all have our ups and downs, I don't know you but I can sure tell you that it isn't worth throwing your life out, your soo young you can live a good long life, talk to someone about it, open up. You got to stay strong even though your crumbling on the inside, you need to try and fix what's bothering you. Stay strong,

Here if you need someone to talk to.

[outruncone8116]

My Dogs dead...friends have moved...grades are plummeting...what I think about the situation is I go alone or take some with me...

P.s. To pink Floyd I think the song fortunate son rocks but then again that's my option which in the eyes of many don't really matter so uh p.s.s. zu dem Mann an der Spitze tun es nicht it's German GOOGLE IT