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View Full Version : Friend being too clingy


ImagineRepublicCity
March 22nd, 2018, 07:58 PM
Hello! This is not my issue, but with permission, my friend said I can post this. Names changed for obvious reasons.

So Jayden, Annie and I are friends at uni, and we all take the same course. We sit together in most lectures, and Annie enjoys hanging out with Jayden. Me, I care less so.

So Jayden and Annie chat a lot. They even went to the club on the weekend and stuff (wow hanging out without me but that's not the issue haha) and Annie and I had a chat together, and she told me she's finally enjoying herself and she loves to spend time with us (and other people/friends). She says she misses us from the last time we see her (Thursday) until the next (Tuesday) and she tells me she gets anxious when it comes to friends (and assignments) that sometimes she doesn't eat or sleep for longer periods than usual.

Now Jayden has a partner (he's also gay) and him and I have similar interests (video games for example) and we chat about stuff every so often. Today he contacted me and to round it off, he told me that Annie has been spending a lot of time with him 1 on 1 and it's kind of annoying. For example...
They studied till late at uni and when it was time to go, he told her that a bus will take her right to her house but she refused to take it and went home with him.

And while he likes spending time with her, Jayden is getting a bit uncomfortable because it feels like she's interested. I told him and I didn't hear anything about that but he told me 'She said it was unfortunate he was gay, if only if you were straight' like okay kind of weird.

I offered to chat to her on his behalf but like, he doesn't want it to be so harsh because of 3rd paragraph. So our question is, what is the best way to tell her Jayden wants to be her friend, but he doesn't want to spend so much alone time with her (due to her anxiety).

ska8er
March 23rd, 2018, 05:39 AM
I would relate to her that Jayden has a
partner which he would like to spend more
time with and doesn't she think as a friend
she should just keep their friendship casual.

jamie_n5
March 26th, 2018, 08:03 PM
Jayden needs to sit down with Annie and tell her that he is flattered that she thinks he would be a great bf. He needs to instill in her that he is gay and that is who he is and does not want any romantic relationship with girls. Tell her that he likes being friends but can't keep on going as strongly with her as they were. He needs his own space and time with his bf and she needs to look for a guy to have a relationship with. Being honest and kind but firm is the best way I see setting things straight.