Angry mother

[Ilove318]

Hi, so my mum is really angry at me quite often. I don't know what I did. Sometimes I'm lazy because I feel depressed. Sometimes I just forget to do stuff (and i don't know why!!)

She tries to help me by giving me notes for school in assessments and stuff, but I don't like notes. I'm polite to her, and I do read them, but she always picks on my faults. My grandparents do this too, so I guess she was brought unlike this. My dad tried so many times to tell her to loosen up but it doesn't work. Any suggestions?

[JTRacer]

You should try to do things together and have fun with her. Maybe she will get to know you better or you will know her better and you guys will get along better. And having more fun maybe will help you not be too depressed too many times.

[lliam]

Seems she was raised that way. And if even your Dad coudln't calm her down, you need more then backup you dad can provide.

[jamie_n5]

I can sympathize with you. Harping on someone and pointing out the negative is not a good way to parent someone. Does she compliment and praise you when you do something good or just point out your faults? You could talk to her and tell her how she makes you feel and making you sad and depressed isn't helping you do and accomplish things. You could have this talk with both your parents together and that might be the best way to bring about some changes.

[Ilove318]

Thanks for the suggestions, but I have tried hanging out with her and having fun, but she's more focused on the chores I have to get done and stuff like that. People have talked to her about being a little less pedantic but nothing has worked. When I was little, she wasn't like this, and talking to her never ends well. She thinks I don't like her for some reason. It doesn't help she makes fun of everything I like. For example I love Star Wars and she always says the characters names wrong to tick me off. Today I told her I don't like it and she said sorry for once, but usually she tells me that it doesn't matter and I know its trivial, but I feel she doesn't respect me. She is a fan of an actor and I was trying to help her get an autograph, but when she didn't get one, she got annoyed and hasn't let it go for two years. But when I wanted to go watch a movie, she says no. Until my dad said we'll go then she wouldn't go! Sometimes I feel like she is selfish, but I feel bad for thinking that.

My friends' parents care about their health before school work, but my parents don't really. I've sat down with them and told them I'm depressed, but it didn't help. They gave me some pills and thought everything would be fine. I even attempted suicide, but I didn't work. All holidays they nagged at me for being lazy until I locked myself in the bathroom crying night after night. I told them i changed my mind about my career path but they don't want to hear it. I hate coming home everyday and I really dot't know what to do.

[lliam]

Speek to folks of the local social services or simikar services.

Even small, trivial circumstances are altogether a serious fact for mental breakdowns. And mention that this takes more and more the joy off your life away.

You may also add that your academic performance suffers enormously, and that you don't need pills at all, just people who take you seriously.

Of course, your suicide attempt should not go unmentioned. That may emphasize your desperation. But I would make that dependent on the course of the conversation.

Maybe you also mention, in the worst case you're willing to live with foster parents or moive in shared housing for teens or such.

If all this doesn't have any effect on your parents, then you really have to get out of this family. I suppose, not even family therapy would help in this case.

[Ilove318]

My parents aren't that bad. I would rather have them than anyone else I know. I love them even though they can be a bit overdramatic at times. I'll maybe talk to a school counsellor, if I can reach them, that is.

[Tom_theflash]

It sound like your mom is very depressed and she is going though a lot right now she doesn't mean it. This is the time she need you to pitch in an give her extra help around the house and other stuff. I know that it is sometimes hard for you to talk to your mom but sometimes it's good to write a letter then yelling back an forward. Watch your tone we tend to say things that are not ment to be said ..I know that you are feeling down and may be hurting at this very moment. Your mom is under a great deal of stress..when you are calm sit down and write mom a nice letter and leave it on her night stand explaining to her how you feel when she is so angry. Don't say mean things in your letter but just state how you are feeling. Doing this just mean you are growning up and turning into a young adult and this is a big step.

[NewLeafsFan]

It sounds like it is just in your mother's nature to point on ppl's faults rather then their strengths. You are probably right- this kind of thing is often a family trait. Just don't take it personally. Look to others for support when you need it.

As far as forgetting to do stuff goes, how about putting reminders in your phone?

[West Coast Sheriff]

Honestly, the best thing you can do in this situation in my opinion is to try to help your mother more. She seems as if she needs help and has high expectations. I know it is not easy and it is a lot easier for me to just give the advice than for you to follow through with it but by impressig your mother and helping her do the things that need to be done, you will most likely improve your relationship w/ her.

[Ilove318]

Thanks, but I’ve tried and she doesn’t want help. She denies that she’s ever wrong. She has become a bit more encouraging but I can’t deal with pressure. Even if I do something good, it’s just not good enough. I don’t know if you get what I mean.... like she just keeps pushing me too hard?

[Bleppo]

Sounds like she has that intoxicating attitude where she views children as lesser human beings, im not really sure how to begin to combat it tho

[Ilove318]

Yeah, I guess you’re kind of right. I’m still half clueless. 🙁