SwegMachine
March 9th, 2014, 10:41 AM
I've self diagnosed my social anxiety. I know this usually isn't a great way to know what your problem is, but I found more out about social anxiety and everything clicked. Eye contact. Shopping. Phone calls. The whole runaround, it all clicked. And, if you met me in real life, it wouldn't be hard to tell that I'm pretty much the poster child of social anxiety.
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Now my Panic Attacks are different, thankfully. Now, they are just like a pit in my stomach, and my hands and feet get cold because my body is rerouting the blood to my essential organs. The stress tricks my body into thinking that it is in a life or death situation. They're triggered by seeing the popular people at school. I was depressed last year, and I caught a lot of shit for that from some of them. This is probably where my SA came from. Going into this school year,I felt like I had something to prove to them. I felt like the whole grade was looking at me, and I needed to be happy in their eyes. Right now, I'm still very slightly depressed. So slightly that I consider myself not depressed, because that's pretty much how it is. Being socially awkward in front of them is getting in the way of me proving that I'm better than last year. Pretty much, I'm trying to get them to not care about me, which is not realistic. The point is, I don't know whether I can be cool enough to make it into the popular group, or if my social anxiety will damn me to the outcast group.
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Now my Panic Attacks are different, thankfully. Now, they are just like a pit in my stomach, and my hands and feet get cold because my body is rerouting the blood to my essential organs. The stress tricks my body into thinking that it is in a life or death situation. They're triggered by seeing the popular people at school. I was depressed last year, and I caught a lot of shit for that from some of them. This is probably where my SA came from. Going into this school year,I felt like I had something to prove to them. I felt like the whole grade was looking at me, and I needed to be happy in their eyes. Right now, I'm still very slightly depressed. So slightly that I consider myself not depressed, because that's pretty much how it is. Being socially awkward in front of them is getting in the way of me proving that I'm better than last year. Pretty much, I'm trying to get them to not care about me, which is not realistic. The point is, I don't know whether I can be cool enough to make it into the popular group, or if my social anxiety will damn me to the outcast group.