Lack of sleep triggered breakdown

[Dalcourt]

I'm in really bad shape at the moment. I can't really sleep and in the rare times I can I'm always woken up by someone or something...

I'm horribly tired, have constant headaches...and are generally over-emotional. The worst is that I'm getting increasingly aggressive...I'm just getting pissed ay the slightest thing.

Yesterday I got so angry at my friend about nothing really that I kinda felt like punching him. And this morning I really lost it with my Dad's girlfriend. I got up too feed my cats and my Dad wanted to go and get some breakfast ... I told him how tired I was and that I don't wanted anything to eat cuz I want to go back to bed as I lack a lot of sleep. His girlfriend surely heard what we talked about as she stood next to him. When Dad was out I got back to bed and I was hardly in when she started talking to one of my cats outside in a very loud voice...I waited for about ten minutes and ad she wasn't quiet at all...I just totally freaked out...I ran outside shouting at her and swearing....I wad so mad I was ready to strike her...didn't do it of course.

I'm outside now in one of my "hiding places". I totally hate getting aggressive...but I'm so freaked out right now ... I change quickly between waves of anger, scratching my arms bloody histerically and crying...I really don't know what to do ....and I'm really afraid that my Dad's mad at me for freaking out on his girlfriend. I'm sure she told him everything.

I'm so tired I can't even think about anything right now.

[Tarannosaurus]

Have you thought of trying some calming exercises such as breathing exercises or meditation? It can also help to find other outlets to release your anger, such as running, sports, writing, screaming (I think this one could really help, it can be hard finding a place but you mentioned hiding places, could those be suitable?). If nothing seems to work and it's getting in the way of your life you could consider anger management therapy, or cognitive behavioural therapy. Hope this helps :)

[DeadEyes]

I know all too well as an undying insomniac how much lack of sleep can mess you up.

[Karkat]

Do you think it's just because of the sleep deprivation, or is there underlying mental illness/etc.?

I'm bipolar (Or something like it. Old diagnosis.) and I get sort of this way when I'm hypomanic. But then again, I also have SEVERE anger issues.

But I uh, don't sleep when I have hypomania. Like now. Totally alert and it's been over 24 hours.

Have you tried meditating? In the heat of the moment, of course it's impossible to get into, but it can seriously calm you down if you can calm yourself enough to do it.

[DeadEyes]

Anxiety does go hand in hand with insomnia.

[Dalcourt]

Thanks everyone, for the tips.

I usually try to calm myself with sports, music and some breathing exercises I learnt aged ago. And usually it works out.

Do you think it's just because of the sleep deprivation, or is there underlying mental illness/etc.?

I'm bipolar (Or something like it. Old diagnosis.) and I get sort of this way when I'm hypomanic. But then again, I also have SEVERE anger issues.

But I uh, don't sleep when I have hypomania. Like now. Totally alert and it's been over 24 hours.

Have you tried meditating? In the heat of the moment, of course it's impossible to get into, but it can seriously calm you down if you can calm yourself enough to do it.

I've been diagnosed bipolar a few years ago, it kinda runs in the family. But usually I can control myself far better...that's what freaked me out.
And I feel like this time my insomnia is different...usually I'm not tired at all the, just can't sleep.
But now I feel tired all the time and even more when I manage to sleep for a couple of hours...it's really messed up.

[xandyx]

I know what you mean about losing your temper. I do all the time with my family, even my little bro sometimes and I feel like crap after.

Everyone makes mistakes. But I bet they still love ya for sure. I have temper issues not just about sleep but its kinda the same. idk how many times my grandparents (who I live with) said they weren't mad at me after it was all over and out. Don't worry about your dad. You're human.

[xandyx]

I'm so tired I can't even think about anything right now.


I know what you mean about losing your temper. I do all the time with my family.

Everyone makes mistakes. But I bet they still love ya for sure. I have temper issues not just about sleep but its kinda the same. idk how many times my grandparents (who I live with) said they weren't mad at me after it was all over and out. Don't worry about your dad. Your human.