Hclark20
March 11th, 2018, 10:44 PM
I am currently 16 years old. I started living with my grandparents at a young age, because my mom was in a psychotic state. When I was in 4th grade I moved back in with her because it seemed she was doing better. She started drinking and would say very rude things even when sober. She would emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically abuse me, and gave me her prescriptions so I would loose weight. She also started lessening the amount of food she would send with me to school. In 8th grade I was fed up and I planned with my 2 friends to run away. Later that week I got caught with marijuana in my locker at school. She was so mad at me and my whole family was disappointed. A couple of nights after that, I attempted suicide. She always complained to me that we didn’t have money and that it was my fault. She was online shopping and I asked her if she really needed to get a new bike because she just bought 2, and she always complains that we are broke. She snapped back at me and told me I’m the reason we have no money because I have to go to all these appointments because I tried to kill myself, even though insurance is paying everything. I decided to move out and live with my grandparents again. It was so good at the beginning and I was getting better, but my grandma kept telling me I need more excercise and to eat better and healthier foods. My mom always did this to me and it reminded me of how it was like with her. I also remembered when I was little and lived with my grandparents I always waited till they left so I could eat because of how they made me feel. I still sometimes don’t eat dinner because of how I’d feel that they would be judging me. I confront my grandma all the time about it and she just says she wants me to be healthy, which I do understand but it makes me feel bad about myself. I once even damaged the car a little bit and my grandpa said instead of paying for it to be fixed I can read and study the book “you on a diet” with him. My grandma even said she has anorexic tendencies. 2 days ago I went my local department grocery store and was caught stealing alcohol. I was walking into the back with the loss prevention lady and I deciders to run because I couldn’t have my grandparents find out. They caught me and the cops were called. I told them I didn’t live with my mom and called my aunt instead. She came to pick me up and sign the papers, but I still will have to go to court and might get my lisence suspended because I was in possession of alcohol. My grandparents still don’t know, that this happened and I know I should tell them but it’s so hard, because they will be so disappointed in me and I don’t know what to do. I feel so bad because I was only doing it because I haven’t ever drunken alcohol before, and was curious. My aunt said we can wait to tell them when everything settles down but I don’t want to tell them. I wish I could but I’d rather die. Please help I don’t know what to do. I really wish I hadn’t done the things I have done and don’t know what to do. My mom also has told my aunt that she misses me .