Crushes// help?

[livinginbelzhar]

I have a crush on this one guy (this is already sounding cliche, hang in there). We have a few classes together, and I see him frequently in the halls between passing times. There's an attraction I have towards him and him only. He's Asian. I'm...(not Asian). Not that that matters, but sometimes I feel that it does. Anyway. I've had crushes on a few people up until now, I never considered it to be "destined love" because it's too early for that. But I'm for sure I like him. Except, I have this feeling that if he were to ask me out, I'd say "no". Without thinking about it. Need me to explain?
I made up my mind a while ago to not date until I am sure about where I'll be going in life, which may work, may not. What I do know is, the exception only comes in when I'm in college. I'm not there yet. However, I have feelings for people. There are many things I like about him, but I feel that I just want to be friends. I haven't had a guy friend before and I always wonder if all I need is for someone to say they like me? Would it be enough?
We've talked before, in Spanish class, because we were partnered up. We've encountered each other, once on a trip as a class and he was trying to be polite and let me go in front of him (we went back and forth deciding on wh should go (I ended up going)). I don't talk much though. Any shy people out there? You know what I mean. I can talk to him...in my head. When we were partners it went smooth, I acted a bit like me. Whenever I talked he leaned towards me (probably because I talked to softly).
Ooo! Before I end this, I have something to add. Is it weird to know a lot about your crush? The first month I met him I ended up looking him up online just to get some information on him since I knew I would never really ask them in person. He's a swimmer, and he told me when we were partners (since it was one of the questions we had to answer) he plays baseball too. He didn't mention swimming, but I already knew that. I know when he's not going to be at school due to a swim meet and it helps me through my day knowing I can check their website and find results and pictures. I can act like I'm there too. It's not the best thing to do since I have to go back to reality and cope with the idea of us not being friends. I think we could be friends, yet I don't. He's cool with people in general, but I'm just awkward and probably stare too much at him. I don't think he knows I like him though. Either way, I'm the last one he's expect.
I don't know what I'm asking or looking for out of your answers, or even if I need any. I'd just like your thoughts.

livinginbelzar |•|

[StacyD]

You're overthinking it. What's worse, all of your overthinking is completely irrelevant and a waste of time BECAUSE you've already said your immediate response "WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT" is going to be a big fat "NO," even if this guy you supposedly are crushing on asks you out. AND you said you feel like you only want to be friends with him and nothing more. So what is it you really want? To stalk him online and pretend you have some relationship? If so, keep it up because you're already doing it. P.S., that would creep anyone out if they were to find out about it. But you still didn't explain why you are incapable of just being friends with him. You've given nothing to indicate that he would turn down a purely platonic relationship. Are you suggesting you cannot be friends with him because you are crushing on him all while also saying you'd never go out with him and only want to be friends with him? That makes zero sense. Just be friends with him. Say hello, try to speak to him a bit more and ask him about things, tell him things about you, do what friends do. See if you can go to one of the events he's at just to support him and your school team. Again, normal things that friends do. See what happens and perhaps you can get a new good friend out of it.

[ska8er]

No its not wrong to look for info on him
cause its a good way to find out what his
interests r. U can bond with him asking
questions on what he likes and not likes.
Ure being negative with urself thinking
things that probably wont happen. Just
continue to b friends with him and as the
friendship goes on u will get to like each
other better. Don't lose his friendship.