Question/Confusion thingy about sex and if you're ready and stuff. Lots of confusion

[SenatorMagenut]

Firstly I'm very new here and I have read the rules and I guess I think it's okay to ask but I'm not sure where to ask it. Please don't ban me ;-;

Anyway, I am 14, Male and Straight (even though I identify as Pan because I think everyone should be).
I'm a virgin, but I masturbate a lot, like worryingly a lot maybe 3-4 times a day but I'm trying to but back. It makes me feel happy for a while (I'm kinda depressed) because of endorphins and stuff. I'm kind of concerned that it's not healthy to masturbate so much.
Also- Judging from polls and stuff here, most of you lost your virginity at like 12, 13, 14, which makes me feel really bad. I have a girlfriend and we've been together for a month or so, but I'm not the kind of person who lets lust interfere with love and our relationship is completely love. However I am sexually attracted to her, but that's like way down the line. I haven't even kissed her yet. That's probably my social awkwardness. I just feel left out though, because I really want sex and everybody else seems to have it cx My internet friends of my age and all of their friends who I kind of know are all having regular sex. It's frustrating :/ Also please don't mock me or complain about my age (only 14) because I am very mentally mature compared to my peers, I feel around 17 and most people who first meet me think I look 18. The shock when I say I'm 14 cx
Oh well, life is about more. I guess I just want reassurance from people and advice and whatever. This is the one place I can open up about my sexual worries and stuff.

Again, if this is unconstitutional then delete it, I'm sorry. And if this should be somewhere else then move it, and I am also sorry ;-; I'm not sure about anything here yet.

[ImAurora]

You've got nothing to worry about in terms of sex. It's probably better not to do it until you reach the right age anyways.

[Karkat]

*hug* You're fine. I mean, masturbation CAN lead to addiction, but a lot of things can. Unless you feel like it's preventing you from living life how you want, don't worry about it. I understand the depression part. I hardly even like masturbating, I just do it to get through to the next time I can be with my boyfriend.

I was raped at 13, but my first consensual time was at 16. I think a lot of kids feel anxious about sex before they lose their virginity, almost rushed to get it over with. Don't feel like you need to rush yourself, take things slowly if you need to.

Also, I'm a little confused at the part where you said you "don't let lust interfere with love". What exactly do you mean by that?

[SenatorMagenut]

Sorry the lust/love bit was unclear :/

What I meant was I love my girlfriend with all my heart, and the fact that I am sexually attracted to her is nothing to do with why I love her and care about her, you know?

And I'm sorry that you were raped ;-; I can't even begin to imagine. I probably sound quite selfish and stuff to you for wanting sex.

I think I should also point out that the reason I desire sex is not because I feel pressured by the people around me, it's that I myself crave it.

[Karkat]

Sorry the lust/love bit was unclear :/

What I meant was I love my girlfriend with all my heart, and the fact that I am sexually attracted to her is nothing to do with why I love her and care about her, you know?

And I'm sorry that you were raped ;-; I can't even begin to imagine. I probably sound quite selfish and stuff to you for wanting sex.

I think I should also point out that the reason I desire sex is not because I feel pressured by the people around me, it's that I myself crave it.

Ah, yeah, I understand how that goes. Same for my boyfriend. Love him more than anything else in the world. Absolutely have the hots for this man. Go nuts around him. I don't think we've made it successfully through a date without taking our clothes off. But that's not why I love him. (Though being able to be intimate with him just makes me feel so close to him sometimes. I am very certainly dedicated to the term "making love".)

NO oh, you're fine. No, I understand completely. Sex was such a weird thing for me after that- I wanted it, but I felt...Wrong. For wanting it. Like I was downplaying rape or something by wanting it. I felt like I should be afraid of it, and hate the thought of it, etc. I understand.

Well I think I should clarify as well :P I meant more pressured by ourselves. Like anxious to know what it's like. I can relate to feeling left out when you know people who are having sex.

[ksdnfkfr]

I have a girlfriend and we've been together for a month or so

Score! Despite what you have focused on, there are lots of guys older than you here who have never had a significant other or a kiss or anything - yet. Wait until you are like 35 if still a virgin to worry about it, and then still don't worry about it.

This is the one place I can open up about my sexual worries and stuff.

This is very true.

Again, if this is unconstitutional then delete it, I'm sorry.

Relax - it's fine :)

[SenatorMagenut]

I guess I'm worried that I'm overmasturbating (is that a word?) to compensate :/ Thanks for all your help guys c:

[backjruton]

You're fine. I mean, masturbation CAN lead to addiction, but a lot of things can.
Haha.. you're right here :D but it doesn't bother with me because I have no true goals in life as I'd rather not end up as a disappointment to myself.

I would agree to the above saying you should wait until the right age but I'm not too sure if I'm happy about the fact I haven't done anything at age 17 either. I mean, it's good to wait until you're the right age so you can do it with your own consent and to make sure your body has matured enough (I am not sure where I'm going with this) and it just seems better to get your mind in the right place. My mind isn't in the right place because we NEVER had sex ed. in high school and I've had to learn it all by watching porn which doesn't tell you much at all :eek:

You shouldn't be too sad about it, personally I'm just glad I made friends altogether as I know how hard it can be for some people like me to make them. I find it very hard to communicate, I'm socially awkward, and maybe this is what is making me take everything so slowly.

Also please don't mock me or complain about my age (only 14) because I am very mentally mature compared to my peers, I feel around 17 and most people who first meet me think I look 18. Do I really look 10 in this? XD
Unlike me. I often feel in reality I have the mind of a 7 year old or something but I don't know how I seem on here, and most people often tell me I have a babyface, especially on my profile picture... I took this in 2012 (so I would have been 5 days off being 16 as I took it on 23rd December) and my tutor in college saw it, told me I look around 10 or something.. a lot younger than 16 :D

Oh well, life is about more. I guess I just want reassurance from people and advice and whatever. This is the one place I can open up about my sexual worries and stuff.
Life is about more, although sadly sex seems to be a very big part of it... Personally I don't care, I only think it's important that you have friendships and do everything else that you hope to do. I would rather spend my whole life watching South Park, playing games and listening to music as I find it really hard to attach to people. I have much more friends online than I do in college (but I do get along with most of the 30 people in my group...) and that's because we don't see each other face to face in most cases which is definitely a good thing :D

[ScottishCanary]

I think that you are being very mature in not rushing into sex with your girlfriend. Different people lose their virginity at different times and there shouldn't be a rush on anyone to do anything they don't feel comfortable doing. I am sure you won't regret waiting when the tiome comes that you decide to have sex. So good on you for waiting and fighting lust, you have my respect.

As for masturbating 3-4 times a day, I have read that as long as it doesn't hurt and you are not masturbating when you really should be doing other stuff, like getting in the way of homework for instance then you are fine!