No close friends.

[Menzis]

So this question comes up in my head lots of times during a week.
"Why don't I have any good friends?"

I used to have good friends, but they all just faded away over time.. and I used to be less social and play games all day. I am a 17-year-old boy now and my thoughts have changed a lot.. I want to have a social life now.
My school is 50 minutes away from me (by train) So school friends are just school friends, and not friends I can easily hang around with on a regular base except when i'm at school.

I used to have a friend which used to always tell me that I was his best mate, but now the past 3 times I asked him to hang out, we planned a date, but whenever it was time he called off. I kind off stopped seeing him as a friend now, as we barely even talk anymore not even through the phone or anything.

I've got 2 other friends that I only hang out with 2 times a month. We watch a movie and go gaming at each others houses, but that's it. 1 friend already has a lot of other friends that he does the regular things with like going out and stuff, so I feel like i'm just a "side-friend".

I have been going outside by myself with a soccer ball and just play by myself and one time a 14-year-old guy played with me, but I never saw him again. I'm just wondering how can I find a potential friend around my age.
Everyone else goes out during the weekends, but I'm always at home doing nothing and I'm thinking I want to have fun while I'm still young. I also don't do any sports, allthough I want to, I don't know what.

I think i'm desperate for a friend, but I just feel alone sometimes.. I just wanted to tell it here and just let all my thoughts out so i'm sorry for the long post.

Anyways, I would appreciate tips and advices what to do in my situation.

Update:
Im free from school for the next 2 weeks and I have nothing to do in these 2 weeks because I dont have any friends, the 2 guys that I used to hang out with don't hang out with me anymore.
(they keep cancelling when I ask them to hang out, it has happened like 3 times in a row now.)

I have applied for a job a week ago, but I didn't receive any response yet.

[DiamondsGirl]

Hi there :) if you make great friends with someone at school, distance shouldn't matter. They'll visit you or ask you to visit them. The question is; do you want to be friends with your school mates? I mean... Are they really the kind of people you're comfortable to hang out with? Are they really enlightening in a conversation? Do they really have the same interest with you? If you don't find such person in school, don't be afraid to look further. In the internet, for example. Friends are those who are there when you need them, not necessarily those you see every day.

My school has 1200+ students and I really only speak to 3. One is a popular genius that seems to be embarrassed with the fact that she's friends with someone like me. The other is a childish, selfish, emotional person that can really get to my nerves. The last one has a good heart, but literally needs 60 seconds to understand what I'm saying. They're all decent people, but my friends on the internet are far better.

There are approx 6 million people in the world. Don't you think it sounds rather impossible to be alone? :) there MUST be someone out there that makes a great friend to you. You can start searching in this forum x

[CassnovA]

join some clubs

[Dalcourt]

Hm, I have a lot of friends but most aren't really close friends, but that's personal reasons I don't want people to get too close to me...anyway, I guess if you have good friends at school you should be able to hang out in some place even if you live far away...you could hang out at some place near school and go home maybe a couple of hours later.

You could try to find some local sports club or so to make friends there. Sometimes there are volunteer activities where you can meet people your age I dunno where you live so I have no idea about the situation around to give you better tips.

[Menzis]

Thanks!

[TheRedViper]

I don't know if you have a job, but that is a great way to meet new people and talk to them on a regular basis, and even form legit friendships.

Btw, your post isn't long at all. You should see some of mine, they're like bloody tomes XD

[Typhlosion]

I'm going to second DiamondsGirl (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/member.php?u=101816)'s thought: distance isn't much of a problem when it comes to friends at all. Sure, you can't hang out everyday, but I and two of my school friends lived over an hour away from me. Did that stop us from meeting up? Nah. I will say that they weren't common, but we were talking everyday at school anyways. is it worth spending two hours of travel to meet up for a few hours more? Yup!

You also got friends that you go once/twice a month out, eh? Go out with them once a week! Then twice... see if you can build that friendship yourself. You interested in sports? Buy a set of badminton or some other different sport and invite someothers else to play, at least the novelty will attract them. (and later, you!) Get a membership in a sports center or go to places where people are playing soccer all the time and ask to tag along! They won't bite!

[refrigeratorx]

I feel that life is what you make of it. You could definitely do something about this, and i know its hard to put yourself out there. I think joining a club, or cause, or organization is definitely the best way because that is how I made most of my new friends. This also helps you get more involved in school and more exposed to more people. and as somebody said, you only need a small group of friends honestly. those are the best in my opinion

[mrpieface2]

Join some clubs in school. You might meet new people! If you join clubs/groups that your interested in, you might make friends with common interests! Hope this helps!

[Menzis]

Update:
Im free from school for the next 2 weeks and I have nothing to do in these 2 weeks because I dont have any friends, the 2 guys that I used to hang out with don't hang out with me anymore.
(they keep cancelling when I ask them has happened like 3 times in a row now.)

I have applied for a job a week ago, but I didn't receive any response yet.

[justJo]

I want to respond DiamonsGirl's statement. I'm not agree with the opinion that a friends in internet are better.
A good friend is a real friend that we can meet in person. Direct social contact was better than virtually. it will be very important in your life.

refrigeratorx has a good advice. Join some club or organization will make a new friend.
good luck :)

[DiamondsGirl]

I want to respond DiamonsGirl's statement. I'm not agree with the opinion that a friends in internet are better.
A good friend is a real friend that we can meet in person. Direct social contact was better than virtually. it will be very important in your life.

refrigeratorx has a good advice. Join some club or organization will make a new friend.
good luck :)

Hi Jo. I don't want to hijack this thread, but assuming my statement is unclear and might be misunderstood by the OP, I'd use this opportunity to straighten things up.

I did not say internet friends are better than IRL friends. I agree with you, nothing is better than hanging out with real people in the real world. What I meant to say is that OP can use the internet as a media to meet new people and henceforth make new friends. Sometimes we really need a jump start into creating that initial "hello", and internet often gives us more jump start than necessary. Which one is easier; meeting up an online friend that lives near you, or walking up to a total stranger at your local cafe?

As for OP; I do think there's still way to make your two-week holiday productive. What about practicing sports/music/etc? If you're crafty, why not make stuffs and sell them? Failing all that, can you pack your stuffs and go on a solo adventure to towns close to yours?

[Jack russell dad]

U 2, huh

[Steve Jobs]

I used to be worried like that too. In fact, the last two years I pretty much slipped into the very state you're in - knowing lots of people, but having that "side-friend" feeling.

Set yourself a challenge to meet someone new everyday, whether at school or anywhere else. It'll take a little time, but once you surround yourself with people that make you happy and energize you, it'll only pick up from there, because it did for me!

Find an outlet, something to express yourself. It'll help you find a common interest with others, which you can set goals with to achieve something. I found it a lot easier to live and get going when there was something I could wake up and look forward to everyday :bigsmile:

[electraheartt]

Aw I'm sorry to hear that :/
You should participate in school clubs; if you like sports, you should join a sports related club, etc. As long as it fits in with your schedule, like when the train to go back to your home is available. If you want a job, you could always start off with something small like working in a shop like Walmart (if you live in the USA) or Tesco (if you live in Britain). I hope everything gets better for you (: