If you're oart of a very strict religious family and community

[Anniebanannie]

You know who you are. And not only Christians. Anyone who's family and community is strict about belief and action.

Maybe you love it, maybe you struggle with it, maybe you hate it.

Let's talk about these things.

If this doesn't seem to describe/apply to you, please don't comment or criticize and otherwise hijack.

Thanks!

[NeonBlueButterfly]

There's a few of us on this site that are in that situation. If you could imagine all the negative stereotypes of small town religious communities in the deep south, that's the situation I'm in. The parents force me to go to every single church event. This means Sunday and Wednesday services, youth group, every special event, and if the church needs a volunteer, my parents make me do it. School, of course, means a private religious school, because public schools are "factories of sin", whatever that means. The gospel preached at us here focuses very heavily on how anybody different is evil and destined for hell. I don't know that I've ever heard the "love thy neighbor" quote from this church, ever.

As you might imagine, this church has taught me that I am most definitely an atheist. I don't mention that in public, but they have shown me the way in that regard. I won't even get into what would likely happen if anyone out here found out I'm a lesbian. I absolutely despise spending time at this church and in this community in general, because it's clear that they would hate the real me if I were to ever show any of it to anybody.

Even with all that, though, I have no problem with others who believe, so long as they don't try to shove it down everyone's throat. Life is difficult, and so if religion helps someone feel more at peace with themselves, and they don't use it as a tool to beat others over the head with, then I'm fine with that. If they can live their life without trying to force their belief system on others, then they can believe whatever they want. I just wish more people would actually do that.

[Snowfox]

Can I join the club.
I dont live in USA but our family is conservative and we go to Church. Church we go is not your typical one.... Our church is independent and there are 3 priests who make sermons.

Church I belong to is ultra conservative to put it mildly. I go to public school. I am allowed anyway to have friends outside church and I do have them. Homelife is very strict to us and I think you know what I mean.

My dad is not around so my older brother acts as surrogate dad to me. Sometimes we do things in church which to someone might seem little odd.
Like gun and bible summer camps.

[Anniebanannie]

There's a few of us on this site that are in that situation. If you could imagine all the negative stereotypes of small town religious communities in the deep south, that's the situation I'm in. The parents force me to go to every single church event. This means Sunday and Wednesday services, youth group, every special event, and if the church needs a volunteer, my parents make me do it. School, of course, means a private religious school, because public schools are "factories of sin", whatever that means. The gospel preached at us here focuses very heavily on how anybody different is evil and destined for hell. I don't know that I've ever heard the "love thy neighbor" quote from this church, ever.

As you might imagine, this church has taught me that I am most definitely an atheist. I don't mention that in public, but they have shown me the way in that regard. I won't even get into what would likely happen if anyone out here found out I'm a lesbian. I absolutely despise spending time at this church and in this community in general, because it's clear that they would hate the real me if I were to ever show any of it to anybody.

Even with all that, though, I have no problem with others who believe, so long as they don't try to shove it down everyone's throat. Life is difficult, and so if religion helps someone feel more at peace with themselves, and they don't use it as a tool to beat others over the head with, then I'm fine with that. If they can live their life without trying to force their belief system on others, then they can believe whatever they want. I just wish more people would actually do that.

You must really feel trapped. How do you think you managed to see things differently than the others?

[Anniebanannie]

Can I join the club.
I dont live in USA but our family is conservative and we go to Church. Church we go is not your typical one.... Our church is independent and there are 3 priests who make sermons.

Church I belong to is ultra conservative to put it mildly. I go to public school. I am allowed anyway to have friends outside church and I do have them. Homelife is very strict to us and I think you know what I mean.

My dad is not around so my older brother acts as surrogate dad to me. Sometimes we do things in church which to someone might seem little odd.
Like gun and bible summer camps.

Welcome to the club. :) It sounds like you accept some parts of your life. What is something that you like about your home, school and church -- and what is something you dislike?

[NeonBlueButterfly]

You must really feel trapped. How do you think you managed to see things differently than the others?

Trapped is absolutely the right word for how I feel.

I think I started to see things differently because I never really felt like I fit in. Church was something I did because the parents made me. At no point did I ever feel that sense of belonging or community that I hear other people talk about all the time. Their chosen focus on an us versus them mentality really started to make it clear that I wasn't a part of this church. They'd spend so much time on how they were wonderful and favored in the eyes of god, and others were morally bankrupt and destined for hell.

Since I wasn't feeling like part of this community, and they were so hostile to people who didn't fall in line, I just never really joined. Later, when I started to realize that I'm attracted to other girls, it just drove home the point that I cannot be true to myself and be a member of this community. These two things are mutually exclusive. I still fake it so that I don't have a major confrontation with the parents that can't end well, but it's all just me going through the motions until I no longer have to.

[Snowfox]

Welcome to the club. :) It sounds like you accept some parts of your life. What is something that you like about your home, school and church -- and what is something you dislike?

I like feeling of being part of something. I believe in God and bible. Basicly I share values.
What I dislike... I dislike how Church sees some things as greater sins than I do. For example I have 2 friends who happen to be NeoNazi gays Church attitude towards gays is well not hostile but at least condemning. I dont say that being gay is not sin. Pretty much everything we do or dont do is sin.
I also dislike double standards.
I obviously dislike strict upbringing. I have had it way more strict in home than most of my peers.
But its great that I have friends. Its not so nice that some of them dont get along like my friend who is Jew and those Neonazis (thats somewhat obvious)

[Spooky_Eli]

I like feeling of being part of something. I believe in God and bible. Basicly I share values.
What I dislike... I dislike how Church sees some things as greater sins than I do. For example I have 2 friends who happen to be NeoNazi gays Church attitude towards gays is well not hostile but at least condemning. I dont say that being gay is not sin. Pretty much everything we do or dont do is sin.
I also dislike double standards.
I obviously dislike strict upbringing. I have had it way more strict in home than most of my peers.
But its great that I have friends. Its not so nice that some of them dont get along like my friend who is Jew and those Neonazis (thats somewhat obvious)neonazi gays?

[Snowfox]

neonazi gays?

yes and I know that might sound bit odd. 2 young skinhead boys who love each other and who are hitler fun boys

[Spooky_Eli]

yes and I know that might sound bit odd. 2 young skinhead boys who love each other and who are hitler fun boysi don't think hitler was very fond of gays...

[Tim the Enchanter]

i don't think hitler was very fond of gays...

Depends, publicly nah, but privately he probs didn't give a crap what they did.

Anyway yeah my parents, specifically my dad, can be pretty conservative like that. We always go to church, especially on sunday, and I'm of course not allowed to say bad stuff.

[Spooky_Eli]

Depends, publicly nah, but privately he probs didn't give a crap what they did.really?

[Tim the Enchanter]

really?

Pretty much.

[Spooky_Eli]

Pretty much.where's the proofs?

[Tim the Enchanter]

where's the proofs?

The fact that plenty nazi officers were gay and they were allowed to continue to operate within the regime.

[Spooky_Eli]

The fact that plenty nazi officers were gay and they were allowed to continue to operate within the regime.well, i learned something today

[Tim the Enchanter]

well, i learned something today

The more you know. Haha

[Spooky_Eli]

http://bbsimg.ngfiles.com/14/16848000/ngbbs4876444460ed4.jpgThe more you know. Haha

[Music Lover]

When I was a kid I thought my parents were unnecessarily strict because I couldn't play video games on Sunday and had to go to church every Sunday unless I was sick. Also anything to do with magic like reading Harry Potter was a big no-no until an older sibling explained that it is fiction :lol:

Only later I found out how easy I have had it comparatively :) Glad to have had that routine of going to church drilled into me though. It has been a good habit to continue to adulthood.

[KayleighLovesRiding]

My family are quite strictly religious and so anything to do with sex is totally banned and not talked about, but its good that we can find information at places like this web site :)

[Anna Kadlecova]

When I was a kid I thought my parents were unnecessarily strict because I couldn't play video games on Sunday and had to go to church every Sunday unless I was sick. Also anything to do with magic like reading Harry Potter was a big no-no until an older sibling explained that it is fiction :lol:

Only later I found out how easy I have had it comparatively :) Glad to have had that routine of going to church drilled into me though. It has been a good habit to continue to adulthood.

Good habit? Why? OMG