My friend/sister hurting me

[Alex0Shaw]

So today well yesterday since it's 12 AM right now as i'm typing this, my friend, well we say we are brother and sister since i see her quite often and we are pretty close to eachother.
So yeah yesterday my friend just kept being mean like slapping me in the face, i didn't know what to do so i just let it happen i kinda tried to tell her to stop, like telling her to be serious since she was being hyper shes only 11 so yeah she does act pretty immature, so yeah she just kept hurting me and taking my glasses off me started to annoy me a bit i don't know why i didn't tell her mother i guess i just let it happen

so as i was gonna go home she takes my glasses, so as i'm walking downstairs barely see since it's blurry without my glasses she starts being all nice again.. but i felt so annoyed i really wanted to hurt her but deep inside i don't want to since she's special to me, so after she hugged me she still wanted me but i just wanted to get in the taxi and leave she knew i was annoyed i felt sorry for leaving her like that..

after i got home i text her mother about what happened with my friend since i felt annoyed that she did that to me.. But yeah idk i just wanted a opinion on this i guess, i probably won't see her until like midweek or something

Thanks for having the time to read :):P

[Uniquemind]

I think you really need to sit down one on one with her and ask her why she does that.

My guess is that she’s 11, she gives off behaviors that communicate to me the beginnings of conceptually mixing playful childhood behavior, and the beginnings of her flirting with you. It’s your job to to draw a line and get her to open up as to why she does this, and also how it makes you feel, disrespected or perhaps physically hurt and you’d prefer a different kind of play or expression of emotional closeness if she values your friendship.


Let her know she crossed a line, and if that doesn’t work talk to her mom.

And just because she’s playful, don’t assume it means anything more than mild play, I only said that as a suggested to keep your mind dynamically open to the realm of what could be going on.


Playfulness in some ways is a type of intimacy, just not necessarily romantically so.

[jamie_n5]

You need to talk to her and lay it on the line to her. Tell if she wants to remain friends with you that if she ever acts the way she did with you that day that it will be it the end of your friendship.

[Uniquemind]

You need to talk to her and lay it on the line to her. Tell if she wants to remain friends with you that if she ever acts the way she did with you that day that it will be it the end of your friendship.

She is 11 though....so that does paint a big backdrop of what could be going on here especially if they’re families are THAT close.

[BlackParadePixie]

yeah, it sounds like she was acting like a brat...but she's 11, so...what are you gonna do?
But it sounds like she knew it was bugging you, so maybe she won't do it again.

[Alex0Shaw]

I think you really need to sit down one on one with her and ask her why she does that.

My guess is that she’s 11, she gives off behaviors that communicate to me the beginnings of conceptually mixing playful childhood behavior, and the beginnings of her flirting with you. It’s your job to to draw a line and get her to open up as to why she does this, and also how it makes you feel, disrespected or perhaps physically hurt and you’d prefer a different kind of play or expression of emotional closeness if she values your friendship.


Let her know she crossed a line, and if that doesn’t work talk to her mom.

And just because she’s playful, don’t assume it means anything more than mild play, I only said that as a suggested to keep your mind dynamically open to the realm of what could be going on.


Playfulness in some ways is a type of intimacy, just not necessarily romantically so.
Yeah i try to get her to stop and tell her why she does this to me, i guess i should tell her it's making me feel upset, maybe she thinks i don't care that shes slapping me, so yeah. She has ADHD, i think that may have a little bit to do with her playfulness that she does things like that, eh i'm sure things will stop when i next see her, always like to see her see how's shes doing since i know school can be hard for her with the bullying so i guess its just little things that shes doing that. But thanks anyways

You need to talk to her and lay it on the line to her. Tell if she wants to remain friends with you that if she ever acts the way she did with you that day that it will be it the end of your friendship.
Eh, yeah, i mean i'm never harsh to anyone, i know deep inside that she does care about me, i can tell when she gets upset about something, she always wants me to cuddle her. i'm sure things will work out

yeah, it sounds like she was acting like a brat...but she's 11, so...what are you gonna do?
But it sounds like she knew it was bugging you, so maybe she won't do it again.
Yeah, hopefully. yeah i guess most 11 year olds are like that i guess.

Thanks for the help people :)

[Uniquemind]

Yeah i try to get her to stop and tell her why she does this to me, i guess i should tell her it's making me feel upset, maybe she thinks i don't care that shes slapping me, so yeah. She has ADHD, i think that may have a little bit to do with her playfulness that she does things like that, eh i'm sure things will stop when i next see her, always like to see her see how's shes doing since i know school can be hard for her with the bullying so i guess its just little things that shes doing that. But thanks anyways


Eh, yeah, i mean i'm never harsh to anyone, i know deep inside that she does care about me, i can tell when she gets upset about something, she always wants me to cuddle her. i'm sure things will work out


Yeah, hopefully. yeah i guess most 11 year olds are like that i guess.

Thanks for the help people :)

Most 11 year olds walk that line of being really immature with a minority few being as mature as a mid to late teen or even an adult.

But given how you said she has ADHD and trouble socializing with bullying that tells me she has less socialization communication experience skills because she probably is probably got a lack of friends.

The reality is many people learn and grow together with peers and you mature as a group dynamic, but in her case there’s indicators she’s still childish.


However don’t accuse her of being childish that’ll just set her in a foul mood. Just keep that in the back of your mind and guide her as the older party.


My pragmatic advice is to lock your valuables away if she has destructive tendencies toward others possessions which can happen during intense ADHD episodes.

[Alex0Shaw]

Most 11 year olds walk that line of being really immature with a minority few being as mature as a mid to late teen or even an adult.

But given how you said she has ADHD and trouble socializing with bullying that tells me she has less socialization communication experience skills because she probably is probably got a lack of friends.

The reality is many people learn and grow together with peers and you mature as a group dynamic, but in her case there’s indicators she’s still childish.


However don’t accuse her of being childish that’ll just set her in a foul mood. Just keep that in the back of your mind and guide her as the older party.


My pragmatic advice is to lock your valuables away if she has destructive tendencies toward others possessions which can happen during intense ADHD episodes.

Yeah i guess so, i know she does have not much friends that are close..

You really know a lot about things like this don't ya? :D

I always try to support her making sure shes okay, cause she does get upset about her real dad (long story short, the real dad left her awhile back) and that makes me feel pretty upset also since i hate seeing her upset even though it happens. Idk what i'm saying i guess i'm just stressing over her a lot i worry too much, oh well.

I'm sure she wouldn't break my things, i mean there's time where she does try to snatch my phone or my earphones that dangle from my t-shirt, but i tell her not to, it kinda works until she gives up

Thanks again for having time to read :)

[Uniquemind]

Yeah i guess so, i know she does have not much friends that are close..

You really know a lot about things like this don't ya? :D

I always try to support her making sure shes okay, cause she does get upset about her real dad (long story short, the real dad left her awhile back) and that makes me feel pretty upset also since i hate seeing her upset even though it happens. Idk what i'm saying i guess i'm just stressing over her a lot i worry too much, oh well.

I'm sure she wouldn't break my things, i mean there's time where she does try to snatch my phone or my earphones that dangle from my t-shirt, but i tell her not to, it kinda works until she gives up

Thanks again for having time to read :)

That also tells me perhaps she in a weird psychological way not only treats you as a brother, but perhaps is looking at you as a weird quasi-father figure....you might not realize this but your are probably inadvertently playing a huge role model template in how she'll see males or men for the rest of her life.


And I have to say I'm detecting a small spark of intimacy in the way you speak of her, I wonder if in 15 years time you won't at least try a relationship with her.

Let's just say I read a lot, I apply what I learn in school to my everyday life, and I meditate and practice emotional control and ponder the human condition on a daily basis since I was about 6 years old.

[Alex0Shaw]

That also tells me perhaps she in a weird psychological way not only treats you as a brother, but perhaps is looking at you as a weird quasi-father figure....you might not realize this but your are probably inadvertently playing a huge role model template in how she'll see males or men for the rest of her life.


And I have to say I'm detecting a small spark of intimacy in the way you speak of her, I wonder if in 15 years time you won't at least try a relationship with her.

Let's just say I read a lot, I apply what I learn in school to my everyday life, and I meditate and practice emotional control and ponder the human condition on a daily basis since I was about 6 years old.

Hm interesting xD..

I mean I guess she does look up at me in a way.. Glad she does.

Yeah i'm feeling that a bit also but atm my relationship is pretty good, just see what happens in the future don't really like to think about what happens in the future really or think to whats gonna happen.

Ok get ya :) thanks for the help.