Moving on

[benlodge123]

So as some of you are aware, Alice, the girl I was close with wanted some space. I gave it to her. The 2 times we spoke was Snapchat Streaks and a little "hello, how was your day" in the evening. Anyway, I told her my feeligns before she wanted space "i like you" blah blah blah, she said I dont want a relationship because im busy with school. I though alright, fair enough. We was still friends. Valentines Day came, she went for a meal with her girl (friend) and a boy and his parents. (Family meal type thing).
Then just today, she speaks to me about how she is nervous to meet this boy called Harry. I was like "Dont be nervous, just be yourself, stay calm and keep talking" Then she said "yeah but we are linking (slang for talking to get in a relationship) and I dont want him to go off me) I was like "just be yourself and have a good day) She said thank you and went.

I am crushed! She said she didnt want a relationship until after she'd finished her exams. Obviously she meant "I dont want a relationship with you Ben" I have been nice to her, We have argued, we have given each other space, I have been there for her, she hasnt been there for me. but I like making her feel better when she has had a bad day. She talks to many boys so its not like shes short of masculine conversation.

Bottom line is, am I better without Alice because she is constantly making me upset. She is never there for me, whenever I talk about my problems she will always say how something hurts on her body or something like that.

Or do I be there as a rebound from Harry, but not try and go out with her.

Personally, I can't be asked with her.

Update* She came back from seeing Harry, and messaged me saying "it was amazing, hes so much better than you" I replied "glad you enjoyed it, leave"

[mick01]

You have to move on and separate from Alice, dude. She's really not good for you or your mental health. Go find someone else who wants to be with you.

[benlodge123]

You have to move on and separate from Alice, dude. She's really not good for you or your mental health. Go find someone else who wants to be with you.

Right now, This girl called Lorna (She has a boyfriend) She is grade 10, Im grade 12, but she could easily pass as being my year or older. She is very mature and is helping me to decide what to do about Alice. Obviously you have to make more friends and not make do with what you have. but it is nice to have a few close friends, than a load of friends who dont care.

[JustMyHumbleOpinion]

Yeah friends really can be a good thing to lean on while coming out of relationship drama.

I remember i used to un-load my thoughts and stuff to my friends when i last had a heartbreak and it helps so much.

Make sure to have fun and focus your efforts on other people- Alice will be a distant memory in a month or so.
Try to surround yourself with people who are positive and beneficial to your life (the opposite sounding of what Alice is like)

[Uniquemind]

It's clear to me she's toxic and unempathetic.

At this point I don't even advise you get in a friends with benefits with Alice.

I can tell now that's Alice is mentally getting off on the power she has as a female to be desirable to stroke her own ego, with respect to how society as commodified the concept of who you can attract as a partner as a life asset.

It's a part of patriarchy only it's the destructive feminine side of it, which leads to the response from men called misogyny.

Resist the misogyny response and dumb Alice COLD Turkey.


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But here's a few words of comfort, ya didn't "fuck up" your original confession to her to yield these results. I know you blamed yourself a few threads ago, you can forgive yourself now.

[benlodge123]

Yeah friends really can be a good thing to lean on while coming out of relationship drama.

I remember i used to un-load my thoughts and stuff to my friends when i last had a heartbreak and it helps so much.

Make sure to have fun and focus your efforts on other people- Alice will be a distant memory in a month or so.
Try to surround yourself with people who are positive and beneficial to your life (the opposite sounding of what Alice is like)

Me and alice want even going out, we was literally just close friends. I am joining my local gym and learning to drive so I will keep myself busy

[benlodge123]

It's clear to me she's toxic and unempathetic.

At this point I don't even advise you get in a friends with benefits with Alice.

I can tell now that's Alice is mentally getting off on the power she has as a female to be desirable to stroke her own ego, with respect to how society as commodified the concept of who you can attract as a partner as a life asset.

It's a part of patriarchy only it's the destructive feminine side of it, which leads to the response from men called misogyny.

Resist the misogyny response and dumb Alice COLD Turkey.


---

But here's a few words of comfort, ya didn't "fuck up" your original confession to her to yield these results. I know you blamed yourself a few threads ago, you can forgive yourself now.

I sort of understand your reply but I am not good with big words.

Yeah she is unempathetic, it sucks cos i was towards her. It was a very one sided friendship, which thank fuck is over now.

[jamie_n5]

Well you found out the true BITCH that she is. So now it will be easier for you to move on and find a girl that is deserving of a great guy like you.

[benlodge123]

Well you found out the true BITCH that she is. So now it will be easier for you to move on and find a girl that is deserving of a great guy like you.


Yeah at least it gives me no reason to go back to her. Like I have been.
And thanks. Imma just play it cool for now.

[StacyD]

Well you found out the true BITCH that she is. So now it will be easier for you to move on and find a girl that is deserving of a great guy like you.

Yeah, there's really nothing left to decide about with "what to do about Alice." She is a toxic person who is toying with you and using you. She's clearly made her choices and she did it back when she said she didn't want a relationship. Sever all ties with her and let her go her own way. If she tries to contact you again, ignore her. Block her. Whatever. Do not have anything to do with her. She's not worth it at all. And NEVER think something like, "should I just wait around for her to be her rebound." That is just awful to regard yourself so lowly and not respect yourself enough that you'd even entertain such a thing. You deserve much better.

[NewLeafsFan]

The whole "I don't want to date right now" is often a cliche. And usually a cliche is just a nice way of saying no. Don't take it too hard. Way too often we feel differently about someone than they do about us. It's just a part of life. Sorry about it though. I know it's hard.