I Feel Unimportant

[olliegirl13211]

Hello, so I'm going to start this off by saying my birthday is tomorrow. Yay. That is pretty much where all my problems stem from. My parents and sister didn't buy me anything for my birthday and I'm honestly really upset about it. I feel guilty being upset about though, I feel like a terrible daughter who just wants her parents to but her things. But it just hurts, I don't know why. I've been telling them things I wanted and they just seemed to push it off until now and then said they didn't have the time or I never told them what I wanted. Not to mention my actual party which seems like such a hassle to them. I just feel like my birthday is something they just didn't care about and just want to get over with. On the other hand, I feel like a garbage daughter for wanting presents from my family. I just feel like no one really cares enough about my birthday to take the initiative to try and get me something. I don't know, any advice would be helpful. I feel guilty talking to my parents about it. :(

[olliegirl13211]

Hello, so I'm going to start this off by saying my birthday is tomorrow. Yay. That is pretty much where all my problems stem from. My parents and sister didn't buy me anything for my birthday and I'm honestly really upset about it. I feel guilty being upset about though, I feel like a terrible daughter who just wants her parents to but her things. But it just hurts, I don't know why. I've been telling them things I wanted and they just seemed to push it off until now and then said they didn't have the time or I never told them what I wanted. Not to mention my actual party which seems like such a hassle to them. I just feel like my birthday is something they just didn't care about and just want to get over with. On the other hand, I feel like a garbage daughter for wanting presents from my family. I just feel like no one really cares enough about my birthday to take the initiative to try and get me something. I don't know, any advice would be helpful. I feel guilty talking to my parents about it. :(

Update:

I expressed to them how I was feeling and they made fun of me because I was upset about it. Awesome.

[ska8er]

Update:

I expressed to them how I was feeling and they made fun of me because I was upset about it. Awesome.r p

U know how ur parents r. I would not expect
anything then u wouldn't b disappointed. U r
important. :happybirthday: :)

[Uniquemind]

2 things:

sounds like you have unempathetic parents. That's a problem, genuinely and I can see how that would affect your psychological-emotional development growing up.


Two: Go back to your mental state and life expectations of when you were just born. More than likely all you expected from life was the basic needs, you had no concept of gender roles, you had no concept of what gifts meant, if you got hold of an item you put it in your mouth to investigate what it was.



Go back to that for a second and realize how you've changed.

To put it shortly, between then and now you've accepted a type of brainwashing a type of philosophy that society has taught you about what life is about, and how love and affection should be communicated.


The truth is those are lies. Be what you want to change in the world, and use your place of emotional hurt or rejection, and remember you aren't alone, and be that for someone else as you become your own person and become a force to be reckoned with.

The gift you get from God himself, is that you get to recognize a problem wrong with the world and YOU get to fix that problem for someone else because you're one of the FEW who are able to empathize on their level. With enough revelations like that eventually the problem will end.


If gifts mean that much to you understand it's all an illusion.


Also correct me if I'm wrong but I sense a deeper sense of affection perhaps not given to you in childhood....perhaps at a deeper level you've not gotten the love from your famliy in your super early childhood?

Do you have stories of emotionally not being listened to when it mattered a lot, because at a meta level understand that could be why this lack of a birthday gift seems so important now.


Also understand that money is got dark undertone to it, it isn't easy to earn, many earn it doing jobs that technically abuse them to the furthest extent of the law or even break the law. So understand the darkside of materialism as well.




Ultimately don't think yourself to be a bad person though. But understand the wider game we play in life.

[Billy1212]

Srsly, that's not nice. Your not terrible, I think it's so rude to not give someone a gift. I'm 13, and I just get my granny some crocheting wool. do you give them presents? If you do, and they don't, don't give them any.

[abcdeqwe]

Don't feel bad for wanting things it is a natural human instinct. If you feel your family isn't treating you well, try talking to them and tell them how you feel. If they care about you, and I'm sure they do, they will listen and understand.

Best of luck

[jamie_n5]

Well your birthday has past. How did things go? Did they surprise you with anything or just keep being the same old non sympathetic people?