I don't know what to do...

[TrueCharlie14]

This is a long story so be prepared to read a lot.

Some background info >

Last October I started going to a musical theatre class at a local company since my sister was a big theatre person and wanted me to join the younger class (12-14).
So I joined and I saw it was mostly girls (no biggie since I didn't except there to be much boys in the class - there is 5 of us). So rehearsels went on until the night of the showcase came (just a bunch of songs from different musicals etc.) and we performed, 'twas fun.
I later find out that this girl likes me, let's call her H and coincidentally I liked her back and eventually we started going out. Her best friend B (once told me she had liked me before but I was going out with H) has always bantered with me as friends do and I'm starting to have feelings for her but I've always said I wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that.

The Situation >

Me and H broke up 2 days ago (H initiated it, it became a mutual decision), the day before Valentine's Day, I got very depressed but I am fairly good at covering up my emotions so no one has really noticed. My friend Calum (who also goes to the class) invited us to an after party for a show we just did 2 weeks ago and I gladly accepted the invitation, H also was in this show. So it's the afterparty and it's great and we're playing a game on the PS4 where you use your phone to play, it's similar to jackbox.tv and me and B partnered up for it. She looked really darn cute that night and we were laughing and sitting together for at lest 45mins, it was really nice. We always call each other names but never mean it, I couldn't stop looking at her.
I don't know what to do since I don't want to ruin anything since we're dance partners and most of all friends but I can't stop thinking about her. I don't want anyone to feel like sh*t if it's like a rebound thing but I've always liked B, not knowing how much.

What do I do?

[benlodge123]

This is a long story so be prepared to read a lot.

Some background info >

Last October I started going to a musical theatre class at a local company since my sister was a big theatre person and wanted me to join the younger class (12-14).
So I joined and I saw it was mostly girls (no biggie since I didn't except there to be much boys in the class - there is 5 of us). So rehearsels went on until the night of the showcase came (just a bunch of songs from different musicals etc.) and we performed, 'twas fun.
I later find out that this girl likes me, let's call her H and coincidentally I liked her back and eventually we started going out. Her best friend B (once told me she had liked me before but I was going out with H) has always bantered with me as friends do and I'm starting to have feelings for her but I've always said I wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that.

The Situation >

Me and H broke up 2 days ago (H initiated it, it became a mutual decision), the day before Valentine's Day, I got very depressed but I am fairly good at covering up my emotions so no one has really noticed. My friend Calum (who also goes to the class) invited us to an after party for a show we just did 2 weeks ago and I gladly accepted the invitation, H also was in this show. So it's the afterparty and it's great and we're playing a game on the PS4 where you use your phone to play, it's similar to jackbox.tv and me and B partnered up for it. She looked really darn cute that night and we were laughing and sitting together for at lest 45mins, it was really nice. We always call each other names but never mean it, I couldn't stop looking at her.
I don't know what to do since I don't want to ruin anything since we're dance partners and most of all friends but I can't stop thinking about her. I don't want anyone to feel like sh*t if it's like a rebound thing but I've always liked B, not knowing how much.

What do I do?


Ahh man! Thats a cute way to start a relationship with a girl. Can i ask the reason you broke up? It would help to shed some light onto whether you should just be friends or should try going out again. As you still like her, personally I would stay friends and just see where it goes. Maybe try meeting her so its just you 2, Cinema, dog walk etc etc. If your friends ask just say your friends, they dont have to know what is happening. I love calling a girl names but them not taking it to heart. Calling a girl something like a slag/slut/whore i would never do, but things that arent just girl things like "smelly" "shithead" etc etc ;) is ok. Yes "Shithead" is ok if you can handle getting one like that back :)

Take it easy and dont hesitate to message me.

[TrueCharlie14]

Ahh man! Thats a cute way to start a relationship with a girl. Can i ask the reason you broke up? It would help to shed some light onto whether you should just be friends or should try going out again. As you still like her, personally I would stay friends and just see where it goes. Maybe try meeting her so its just you 2, Cinema, dog walk etc etc. If your friends ask just say your friends, they dont have to know what is happening. I love calling a girl names but them not taking it to heart. Calling a girl something like a slag/slut/whore i would never do, but things that arent just girl things like "smelly" "shithead" etc etc ;) is ok. Yes "Shithead" is ok if you can handle getting one like that back :)

Take it easy and dont hesitate to message me.

We broke up because we hardly ever talked anymore, it was a peaceful breakup. She usually calls me the names first XD

[benlodge123]

We broke up because we hardly ever talked anymore, it was a peaceful breakup. She usually calls me the names first XD

Ahh right, why do you think you didnt talk anymore? Maybe you both just needed a break. But the time you spent with her at the party makes me wonder if she still likes you. I think she does. Do you like her?

[TrueCharlie14]

We both said to eachother (me and H) that we still liked eachother but I believe we may have been kidding ourselves.

[NewLeafsFan]

I think that it is too soon for you to start dating someone else. Continue hanging out with B as a friend and see where it goes.

[Uniquemind]

I think it's still to soon too. I think the emotional links are still there it's just the rush of the high of a new relationship wore off and perhaps that was interpreted as passion lost versus relationship lost entirely.

What we say verbally doesn't always reflect the truth of what we feel, and it is possible that while the verbal exchange made the breakup "official" emotional damage can still be done to all involved in the former relationship if enough time doesn't pass.


Also B should be brough into the conversation as well, as in is this just a hookup or are you interested in more kind of thing.

[TrueCharlie14]

I think it's still to soon too. I think the emotional links are still there it's just the rush of the high of a new relationship wore off and perhaps that was interpreted as passion lost versus relationship lost entirely.

What we say verbally doesn't always reflect the truth of what we feel, and it is possible that while the verbal exchange made the breakup "official" emotional damage can still be done to all involved in the former relationship if enough time doesn't pass.


Also B should be brough into the conversation as well, as in is this just a hookup or are you interested in more kind of thing.

It's an interested kind of thing, not a hook up.

[Uniquemind]

It's an interested kind of thing, not a hook up.

To an extent it’s time to talk to B.


You can’t go around life trying not to emotionally hurt someone if it means the trade-off is missing out on a good future relationship. This is the origin of the phrase “all is fair in love and war”.


Wait let some time pass, and then pursue B, and let B know of this internal conflict because this affects her socially too.