Meeting new people (may cross between forums)

[benlodge123]

In my life i have only ever had 1 proper girl friend, that was for 2 years. We are no longer friends.

I know there are a lot of girls out there who are willing to talk to me, but going about finding them is not easy. I want to be able to say to my parents "ahh ive met (x), she is really nice and doesnt live to far" But I am not the hottest of boys and have been told numerous times that I am ugly. This constantly lowers my self esteem. I sit on my PC all day so am certainly not short of time. I would love a girlfriend. Or just a girl that I can spend a day with.
I feel so lost about what to do. Any help?

[Spooky_Eli]

well, you could try changing your appearance,perhaps a new hair cut, changing up your wardrobe(go for the bad boy look, chicks dig the bad boy look)etc, oh and look for girl who isn't a bit*h(a hard job i know,but try) and lastly just wait. seriously, just wait, "this too shall pass" isn't just sum bs thay made up to put in the bible, is just a good observation of life,and if all else fails you can always fall back on depressing goth music..

[benlodge123]

well, you could try changing your appearance,perhaps a new hair cut, changing up your wardrobe(go for the bad boy look, chicks dig the bad boy look)etc, oh and look for girl who isn't a bit*h(a hard job i know,but try) and lastly just wait. seriously, just wait, "this too shall pass" isn't just sum bs thay made up to put in the bible, is just a good observation of life,and if all else fails you can always fall back on depressing goth music..


What is the bad boy look ?? 😅

[ska8er]

I saw ur profile pic and anyone who
says ur ugly just wants to bring u down
and it seems they r doing a good job of it.
Stop listening to them and start getting to
make friends with some girls. Join a club at
school or ask a friend to introduce u to some
one. If u feel nervous just remember that a
girl probably is just as nervous as u.

[Spooky_Eli]

What is the bad boy look ?? ��
it generally consists of wearing a leather jacket & ripped jeans(or black leather period), giving everyone the evil eye & generally having a brooding attitude(just don't be an asshole, its a tightrope)

[benlodge123]

I saw ur profile pic and anyone who
says ur ugly just wants to bring u down
and it seems they r doing a good job of it.
Stop listening to them and start getting to
make friends with some girls. Join a club at
school or ask a friend to introduce u to some
one. If u feel nervous just remember that a
girl probably is just as nervous as u.


They do do a good job of bringing me down. I have low self esteem as it is. So I don’t need some Kim Kardashian wannabe telling me I’m ugly. I’m so shy at school, when I have free periods, I sit at a pc and constant check my emails and don’t do work. I try to look busy but it ultimately fails.

[Spooky_Eli]

They do do a good job of bringing me down. I have low self esteem as it is. So I don’t need some Kim Kardashian wannabe telling me I’m ugly. I’m so shy at school, when I have free periods, I sit at a pc and constant check my emails and don’t do work. I try to look busy but it ultimately fails.
the one thing i'll say about the "Kim Kardashian wannabes" is this, f**k em, there not worth the silicone thay'll inevitably have injected into there cheeks.

[ska8er]

They do do a good job of bringing me down. I have low self esteem as it is. So I don’t need some Kim Kardashian wannabe telling me I’m ugly. I’m so shy at school, when I have free periods, I sit at a pc and constant check my emails and don’t do work. I try to look busy but it ultimately fails.

Usually the Kardashian types r bogus. If u listen to
these fakes then surely ur going to think low of urself.
Many guys have crushes on the best looking girls when
a lot of girls r shy. I'm not saying all cute girls fall into
the Kardashian bull but if u want to find a nice girl who
is just looking for someone to pay them attention it is to
find someone who falls into ur shy category. Find someone
who is alone say at lunch or keeps to themselves and strike
up a conversation. ;)

[ska8er]

I like the bad boy type. I kinda like guys
who have an attitude bout themselves. My
hormones sometimes get stuck in neutral.
I wore a black leather jacket when my Junior
drama club put on Bye Bye Birdie. I got into
the Greaser look.

[benlodge123]

Usually the Kardashian types r bogus. If u listen to
these fakes then surely ur going to think low of urself.
Many guys have crushes on the best looking girls when
a lot of girls r shy. I'm not saying all cute girls fall into
the Kardashian bull but if u want to find a nice girl who
is just looking for someone to pay them attention it is to
find someone who falls into ur shy category. Find someone
who is alone say at lunch or keeps to themselves and strike
up a conversation. ;)

Yeah they are so confusing. They are like “ooh look at me I’m hot and I shag everyone” I just want a nice girlfriend who will maybe have sex with me. (16 and haven’t had sex before)

[ska8er]

[QUOTE=benlodge123;3632261]Yeah they are so confusing. They are like “ooh look at me I’m hot and I shag everyone” I just want a nice girlfriend who will maybe have sex with me. (16 and haven’t had sex before)[/QG


U get to know first and make friends
before u think anything bout sex.

[benlodge123]

[QUOTE=benlodge123;3632261]Yeah they are so confusing. They are like “ooh look at me I’m hot and I shag everyone” I just want a nice girlfriend who will maybe have sex with me. (16 and haven’t had sex before)[/QG


U get to know first and make friends
before u think anything bout sex.

Yeah ik you cant just shag anyone. I dont beleive in the Freind with benefit thing thats just wrong.

[NewLeafsFan]

well, you could try changing your appearance,perhaps a new hair cut, changing up your wardrobe(go for the bad boy look, chicks dig the bad boy look)etc, oh and look for girl who isn't a bit*h(a hard job i know,but try) and lastly just wait. seriously, just wait, "this too shall pass" isn't just sum bs thay made up to put in the bible, is just a good observation of life,and if all else fails you can always fall back on depressing goth music..

I really disagree. Dating is a lot more about confidence than it is about physical appearance. Especially for girls. If you make changes to your appearance, do it to make you more confident, not to make you look better to girls. Do not try the bad boy thing. While it works for some people, a date is about connecting and getting to know someone. Not about acting in a way that you hope they will find sexy. And the bad ass look requires high self esteem and confidence.

I can connect a lot to you. Although I haven't been told that I am ugly, I am about 25 lbs over weight so I know that I'm not going anywhere on looks alone. And I've never had a gf. Believe me, I know how frustrating it is, but just keep putting yourself in situations where you will meet new girls. And sitting infront of a PC will not do that.

[lliam]

go out more often
talk to your peers more often
eypacially to girls.

make friends
gain expierence
socialize

get a girl friend


that's how it works.

[Uniquemind]

I'm going to really play devil's advocate here and post a really loaded question.



Hypothetically, do you really want a relationship and then sex within that context, or is your body (so morals aside here) really just craving to live that real life fantasy to shag a (or a few) hot girls, to mark that life milestone off the books.


Because girls can smell disingenuousness in a guy's subconscious before even the guy is self-aware of it. If this is really the deep thought and motivation behind all of your pursuits it can be sabotage your attempts here.



Because I've known guys who say they wanted a relationship, but when push came to shove, they were just fine being playboys. Mentally it was not so good for my friends whose boyfriends did this to them, but the boys seemed to emotionally move on pretty quickly even if originally those boys did intend to have a longer relationship, it just seemed once they scratched that itch the attraction faded.

[benlodge123]

I'm going to really play devil's advocate here and post a really loaded question.



Hypothetically, do you really want a relationship and then sex within that context, or is your body (so morals aside here) really just craving to live that real life fantasy to shag a (or a few) hot girls, to mark that life milestone off the books.


Because girls can smell disingenuousness in a guy's subconscious before even the guy is self-aware of it. If this is really the deep thought and motivation behind all of your pursuits it can be sabotage your attempts here.



Because I've known guys who say they wanted a relationship, but when push came to shove, they were just fine being playboys. Mentally it was not so good for my friends whose boyfriends did this to them, but the boys seemed to emotionally move on pretty quickly even if originally those boys did intend to have a longer relationship, it just seemed once they scratched that itch the attraction faded.


I am not the playboy type. I dont talk to many girls. Probably 3-4 at max. I would love to have a relationship with one girl.

[Uniquemind]

I am not the playboy type. I dont talk to many girls. Probably 3-4 at max. I would love to have a relationship with one girl.

Okay then. Just be aware of what I said in my last post and be conscious about it.

Also be aware that sometimes because you want a relationship you might be coming on too strongly, to the point where it feels like a boy is proposing or something, it's too serious and can scare a girl off. That's why sometimes boys who don't mean as much get to at least hang out with the girl because the pressure is off.

Also pressure triggers a sense in our minds that some kind of "abuse" is taking place and it puts us in a defensive mindstate which is contradictory toward the atmosphere you want to create for flirting.

[benlodge123]

Okay then. Just be aware of what I said in my last post and be conscious about it.

Also be aware that sometimes because you want a relationship you might be coming on too strongly, to the point where it feels like a boy is proposing or something, it's too serious and can scare a girl off. That's why sometimes boys who don't mean as much get to at least hang out with the girl because the pressure is off.

Also pressure triggers a sense in our minds that some kind of "abuse" is taking place and it puts us in a defensive mindstate which is contradictory toward the atmosphere you want to create for flirting.

Thats where it went wrong, youve hit the nail on the head there. I always get feelings to fast and it makes the girls just wanna be friends with me. I deffo feel i am coming on to strongly. I get attached very quickly.

[benlodge123]

I'm going to really play devil's advocate here and post a really loaded question.



Hypothetically, do you really want a relationship and then sex within that context, or is your body (so morals aside here) really just craving to live that real life fantasy to shag a (or a few) hot girls, to mark that life milestone off the books.


Because girls can smell disingenuousness in a guy's subconscious before even the guy is self-aware of it. If this is really the deep thought and motivation behind all of your pursuits it can be sabotage your attempts here.



Because I've known guys who say they wanted a relationship, but when push came to shove, they were just fine being playboys. Mentally it was not so good for my friends whose boyfriends did this to them, but the boys seemed to emotionally move on pretty quickly even if originally those boys did intend to have a longer relationship, it just seemed once they scratched that itch the attraction faded.


Going back to this, I want a girlfriend that is not like what people would say ugly, but also one that doesnt go around shagging loads of boys.

[Uniquemind]

Going back to this, I want a girlfriend that is not like what people would say ugly, but also one that doesnt go around shagging loads of boys.

Not many people want someone that's gonna cheat on them that's normal.

But it is not practical to expect to know your partner's sexual past body count, and it really is only acceptable to ask for constant std and STI medical data.

Most people, and especially girls are less likely to be virgins by the time they are 18, and I'll tell you right now it's common for girls to have 2-5 partners already and the more attractive they are the higher chances they've had more sexual experiences. Even academic papers studying human sexual behavior have come to this conclusion.


You have to make peace with the fact that sexual loyalty isn't something easily found nowadays, and you can come off too judgemental if that's super high on your list of "standards".