Lack of Social interaction

[juul56]

So i'm 13 and in the 8th grade. I've never really been a social butterfly and i would honestly mainly contribute that to being raised on video games and never really forming good social skills as a little kid. I've never really hung out with friends much after school. I've had around 2 or 3 friends i would hang out with outside of school on a regular basis throughout my lifetime. I would say sixth grade was the best year of my life, i still didn't really hang out after school a ton but i had a decent amount of good friends in school and pretty much every day was fun. I always had some highlights to tell my sister when we were walking home. the summer after sixth grade was ok but i knew that something was off the first day I walked into school in 7th grade. I just didn't really feel natural or comfortable talking to friends anymore and most of my friends left me around halfway through the year (I can't really blame them though, I just wasn't the same person and had started getting pretty annoying.) Now i'm in 8th grade and while things are looking up from 7th grade they still don't look very good. I still don't have too much fun in school anymore and still don't feel as comfortable as i used to in social situations. this is just overall pretty boring and depressing and makes me feel like i'm wasting my life. I'm especially scared of entering high school as a social retard and wasting what a lot of people consider the best time of their lives. I really dont know what caused this and i dont know how to fix it. any advice?

[ska8er]

U r growing up and moving on and
friends change whether in school or
at home. The best way is to meet and
make new friends. Try and forget all
ur negative self esteem thoughts and
join a group at school that u might b
interested in or look for someone at
school that is alone and start a small
conversation with them. What is it that
u say u r not the same anymore or r
annoying? Try and work on it and find
a way to change ur attitude.

[lliam]

I really dont know what caused this and i dont know how to fix it. any advice?

Well, if you can't reflect that to come to a conclusion, you need someone to help you with that. This should be someone who has good social skills and experiences with such problems.

A social worker, maybe. A person who has gone through same hell as you, and now helps others to overcome such probs ... or if this doesn't work, then, in case of doubt, it should be a therapist.

[Alisha_]

I don't know if i'm the best person to give advice on this, but I would suggest finding people with the same interests as you and befriend them. It's a lot easier when you have stuff in common so you're able to relate and interact with each other about things you like. It will make you feel more comfortable around them and them more comfortable around you. Other than that, like the others are saying, i'd suggest trying to make new friends and kind of forcing your way through the awkwardness and trying to get more experience talking to others often.

[NewLeafsFan]

I really get where you are coming from. I was an only child until my sister was born when I was 12. I grew up often socializing with adults and not getting to know kids my own age. My mom was a stay at home mom so I didn't go to daycare. In kindergarten my teacher told my parents that I was delayed socially. In Gr 1 it was one of several reasons that my teacher thought I could have a learning disability. (I don't.) Anyway, it isn't nearly as bad as it used to be, but I still struggle a bit socially.

I'm guessing that you will be moving onto a new and bigger school next year? If so, join clubs and get involved. That helps you meet people that have similar interests.

Try to have conversations with people. When you sit down beside someone, ask them how they are. People don't usually bite. There are a few things to avoid though such as rude comments, oversharing, TMIing, asking persoanl questions, making jokes that may be offensive or inappropriate, etc. But make sure that when you are with a group of ppl that you are still active in the conversation.

[juul56]

I really get where you are coming from. I was an only child until my sister was born when I was 12. I grew up often socializing with adults and not getting to know kids my own age. My mom was a stay at home mom so I didn't go to daycare. In kindergarten my teacher told my parents that I was delayed socially. In Gr 1 it was one of several reasons that my teacher thought I could have a learning disability. (I don't.) Anyway, it isn't nearly as bad as it used to be, but I still struggle a bit socially.

I'm guessing that you will be moving onto a new and bigger school next year? If so, join clubs and get involved. That helps you meet people that have similar interests.

Try to have conversations with people. When you sit down beside someone, ask them how they are. People don't usually bite. There are a few things to avoid though such as rude comments, oversharing, TMIing, asking persoanl questions, making jokes that may be offensive or inappropriate, etc. But make sure that when you are with a group of ppl that you are still active in the conversation.
Yea, I go on to highschool next year. on one hand i think it could really be a new leaf for me but on the other hand it scares me because its a place where social skills are even more necessary, especially if you want to have a good time. pretty much everyone likes to reminisce about their childhood in general but especially their highschool years and i just dont want to have a shit time there. I'm not socially crippled enough to not know the basic rules you laid out there, but i'm generally just too timid to interact with people and my head just doesn't feel clear anymore and i can't think of any good replies to people. Like i said, i just dont feel like the same person anymore.

[Just JT]

Think you just needa put yourself out there more and meet some new friends. Play sports, join a club, do theater or a musical instrument or something. By being involved you’ll meet new Friends with common interests.

HS is a really different place. For me was weird cause I was only in the town I live about a year or so before I went to HS. But I also met some guys who were already there.

So justbtry and get involved in something and meet some friends. Am doing Friends do come and go. That sounds part of life....

[NewLeafsFan]

Yea, I go on to highschool next year. on one hand i think it could really be a new leaf for me but on the other hand it scares me because its a place where social skills are even more necessary, especially if you want to have a good time. pretty much everyone likes to reminisce about their childhood in general but especially their highschool years and i just dont want to have a shit time there. I'm not socially crippled enough to not know the basic rules you laid out there, but i'm generally just too timid to interact with people and my head just doesn't feel clear anymore and i can't think of any good replies to people. Like i said, i just dont feel like the same person anymore.

Remember that you have to simple conversation starters. An introduction and talk about which elementary school you and the person you are talking to went to. Also, dish out the compliments. People love to be flattered.