I have feelings, She doesn't

[benlodge123]

2 days ago, I got this girls snapchat. Her name is Alice, she lives 30 mins away. We facetimed and it was great, We was both shy but both ended the call on a good note with me playing piano for her. She asked this morning if i had feelings for her I said yeah a little, then she said she didnt. I know 2 days is fast but for someone like me who has 2 mates and 1 girl///friend its not very hard to catch feelings for a girl. She said "I am very cautious when it comes to boys, due to bad things in the past" She will tell me these things another time. I respect that but its not what I wanted to hear. Do I continue being mates with her or not talk. I obviously want to know what them boys did to her in the past, and no I won't just stick around to find out. I want to be a close mate/boyfriend. I guess only time will tell.
Yeah, any advice would be appreciated :|

[Gvanni]

keep talking to her and relating to her to get closer. like you said time will tell, i can tell she's the type of girl that needs to get to know a guy first before she can decide her feelings. girls are just like that sometimes.

[rohancool]

2 days ago, I got this girls snapchat. Her name is Alice, she lives 30 mins away. We facetimed and it was great, We was both shy but both ended the call on a good note with me playing piano for her. She asked this morning if i had feelings for her I said yeah a little, then she said she didnt. I know 2 days is fast but for someone like me who has 2 mates and 1 girl///friend its not very hard to catch feelings for a girl. She said "I am very cautious when it comes to boys, due to bad things in the past" She will tell me these things another time. I respect that but its not what I wanted to hear. Do I continue being mates with her or not talk. I obviously want to know what them boys did to her in the past, and no I won't just stick around to find out. I want to be a close mate/boyfriend. I guess only time will tell.
Yeah, any advice would be appreciated :|

Well you cannot push these things and I have to take it at pace both the people want. If you try to push it on her then nothing good might come as she is a different person with independent choices.

I would say keep talking to her for another few weeks, meet her and slowly build trust to reach at that level. If she is being very unreasonable, let her know your feelings from time to time and if she is being extra paranoid then call-off that relationship (sad but true).

[lliam]

I guess only time will tell.


you wrote it, mate.

as my fellow users already said: keep talking to her.

the only thing you really can do in this case. and give her space, if needed.

[scott2002]

Gotta become friends first. U haven't had enough time yet to even really become friends. Right now u find her interesting and she finds u that way too. Asking her if he has "feelings" for you, if a girl said that to me so quick I'd get real suspicious what her real motives are.

U: "I have feelings for u. Do u have feelings for me?"
Her: "Yes I do"
U: "Great! Hey, how about we trade naked pictures then?"

(See?)

[benlodge123]

keep talking to her and relating to her to get closer. like you said time will tell, i can tell she's the type of girl that needs to get to know a guy first before she can decide her feelings. girls are just like that sometimes.

Yeah, I would hate to rush her, but it is exciting talking to a girl who is kind etc, you know, has everything you could want. You just want her to be yours :)
I will continue talking and see what happens.

[ska8er]

Continue to b friends with her but
give her space. Let her get to know
u better. Don't bring up her other
experiences with guys unless she
wants to tell u bout it.

[benlodge123]

Gotta become friends first. U haven't had enough time yet to even really become friends. Right now u find her interesting and she finds u that way too. Asking her if he has "feelings" for you, if a girl said that to me so quick I'd get real suspicious what her real motives are.

U: "I have feelings for u. Do u have feelings for me?"
Her: "Yes I do"
U: "Great! Hey, how about we trade naked pictures then?"

(See?)

Yeah its kinda weird. She said "um not really" I was like thats fair, maybe i was wrong to ask.

[benlodge123]

Well you cannot push these things and I have to take it at pace both the people want. If you try to push it on her then nothing good might come as she is a different person with independent choices.

I would say keep talking to her for another few weeks, meet her and slowly build trust to reach at that level. If she is being very unreasonable, let her know your feelings from time to time and if she is being extra paranoid then call-off that relationship (sad but true).

yeah she said she wants to meet me which is a huge plus! Alice said she wanted to put makeup on my etc all the things girls want to do to guys haha.

[Shiny Moon]

Keep talking with her! :) it's been just two days.
People are different and some of them just take more time to develop feelings for another person ;)

If she wants to meet you then you're on the right path.

[NewLeafsFan]

She asked you if you have feelings for her because she has feelings for you but is not ready to proceed into a relationship yet. She must have anxieties towards guys. My advice is to get to know her better. Do not try to force her to tell you about her previous experiences. She'll tell you when she's ready. Yes, that could take a long time.

[NeonBlueButterfly]

I can't claim to be an expert, but it seems to me that feelings are things that happen when they happen. Trying to rush the process or force feelings that aren't there just won't work in the end. If she's had bad experiences before, she's likely going to be nervous about developing the feelings and trust that would be required for a relationship of any kind. If you really like her, the best thing you can do is simply be there for her without expectations or judgement. If you can be kind, listen to her when she needs it without pushing into areas she doesn't want to get into, she may come to realize that she can trust you, which would be a huge part of a potential relationship.

[benlodge123]

I can't claim to be an expert, but it seems to me that feelings are things that happen when they happen. Trying to rush the process or force feelings that aren't there just won't work in the end. If she's had bad experiences before, she's likely going to be nervous about developing the feelings and trust that would be required for a relationship of any kind. If you really like her, the best thing you can do is simply be there for her without expectations or judgement. If you can be kind, listen to her when she needs it without pushing into areas she doesn't want to get into, she may come to realize that she can trust you, which would be a huge part of a potential relationship.

yeah I am trying my best not to rush her. I also dont want to become a pest, or end up in the friend zone :(