My Girlfriend

[Riley2015]

I've been dating a girl since November and i am crazy about her. But there is a problem problem is she doesn't trust me, she says she doesn't trust any boy because she thinks we are all liars and will cheat on her i wouldn't do it but proving this to her is a challenge. Every time i am with her she ask me if i've been with any one else, i say no and she grills me about what i've been doing, where i've been who i was with and says she doubts me, its really hard to convince her i didn't see another girl.

She sets me challenges to prove my love and commitment, she makes me to write her poems and love letters everyday, a different one everyday telling her i love her and i don't cheat etc, i don't mind writing them but its hard to keep finding something new to write everyday so i end up repeating a lot of the same stuff or just switching the words around a bit and she tells me i am lazy and not making the effort to write her a nice poem. i honestly try my best.

She wants me to buy her gifts all the time and flowers, i don't get much pocket money and my paper round is not a lot of money. She says i should get a weekend job so i can take her out and buy her stuff, but i have to study also. I get a shit load of extra homework because i under perform in maths and some of my other subjects. My teachers place me in detention a lot and my girlfriend gets mad at me for being in detention when i could be spending time with her.

I love her and i want to please her and look after her, but i feel i am always letting her down but i try so hard i really do but she is never satisfied. She also says she hopes i will get a good job so i can support her when we are adults and she also says she wants me to propose to her one day and surprise her and make it really romantic. I'd love to get married eventually but i feel we are too young to think about it now and she is rushing ahead a bit. I told her that and she got mad at me again :(

I hate making her upset and mad but i seem to do it a lot :( She also has slapped me in the face twice when she was mad and she demands i write her poems and letters to say i am sorry and to ask forgiveness each time i upset her.

How can i be a better boyfriend and stop upsetting her? How do i convince her i don't cheat and how do i write some new poems and love letters? :what:

[yeehaw]

Honestly, I’ve been in a similar situation before with a guy. This may not be what you want to hear but from my experience myself, she’s using you and manipulating you. It seems to me like you don’t deserve the slaps that she gave you and you were just being honest and she snaps at you, that isn’t right dude.

It seriously sounds to me like a one-way relationship and there isn’t a lot of effort and affection on her part at all; you’re pulling 100% of the weight when it should be a 50/50 split. I probably sound really really bitter and biased right now but a few months down the line it’s going to wear you down a lot and it doesn’t get much better. That’s just my opinion buddy, and if it was me I’d try and get out of this toxic relationship that’s forming when I could.

I’m sorry if this isn’t much help to you, but it feels like you don’t realise that this isn’t right.

[ska8er]

She is using u and very demanding.
Love is blind but I understand how it
is. U r giving in to her too much and
the more she asks of u-u r trying to
please her. I would not give in to her
demands all the time and once she
realizes this then maybe she will
ease up and appreciate u more.

[WeebOOF]

Honestly if it was me, i would just quit as i feel she is too needy, some people are just very hard to please, thats just if it was me, its up to you, if i can give you any advice i would say speak to her and have a sit down serious talk with her and be confident with eye contact and just make sure she knows that she is the only girl you are seeing/love

[rohancool]

I've been dating a girl since November and i am crazy about her. But there is a problem problem is she doesn't trust me, she says she doesn't trust any boy because she thinks we are all liars and will cheat on her i wouldn't do it but proving this to her is a challenge. Every time i am with her she ask me if i've been with any one else, i say no and she grills me about what i've been doing, where i've been who i was with and says she doubts me, its really hard to convince her i didn't see another girl.

She sets me challenges to prove my love and commitment, she makes me to write her poems and love letters everyday, a different one everyday telling her i love her and i don't cheat etc, i don't mind writing them but its hard to keep finding something new to write everyday so i end up repeating a lot of the same stuff or just switching the words around a bit and she tells me i am lazy and not making the effort to write her a nice poem. i honestly try my best.

She wants me to buy her gifts all the time and flowers, i don't get much pocket money and my paper round is not a lot of money. She says i should get a weekend job so i can take her out and buy her stuff, but i have to study also. I get a shit load of extra homework because i under perform in maths and some of my other subjects. My teachers place me in detention a lot and my girlfriend gets mad at me for being in detention when i could be spending time with her.

I love her and i want to please her and look after her, but i feel i am always letting her down but i try so hard i really do but she is never satisfied. She also says she hopes i will get a good job so i can support her when we are adults and she also says she wants me to propose to her one day and surprise her and make it really romantic. I'd love to get married eventually but i feel we are too young to think about it now and she is rushing ahead a bit. I told her that and she got mad at me again :(

I hate making her upset and mad but i seem to do it a lot :( She also has slapped me in the face twice when she was mad and she demands i write her poems and letters to say i am sorry and to ask forgiveness each time i upset her.

How can i be a better boyfriend and stop upsetting her? How do i convince her i don't cheat and how do i write some new poems and love letters? :what:

I will give my honest opinion, she has been childish, immature and selfish. She does not trust you, sees you as a commodity to support her and not make independent choices.

I understand you love her but I think relationship has to go both ways. If I was you I would have focused on my life first. We in teenage should enjoy not think of being adult and how will you sustain her (future is not in your hands).

Trust me there will be many more girl to come in your life who will treat you as an independent person with own wishes and choices.

[Straya]

the only way you can be a better boyfriend is to dump her and find a girl that is ready to be in a relationship unlike your current one that just wants someone to pay attention to her. if she isnt trusting you then there is no relationship

[NewLeafsFan]

This sounds like an extremely unhealthy relationship. If this has been going on since November you have done more than enough to prove your trust for the next 20 years. And tbh, I think that this is a form of blackmail. "Buy my flowers or you don't love me" and "Write me a poem or I'll think you've been cheating" are argument starting conversations.

I think that it's time to give her an ultimatum. Either she needs to accept that you are a trust worthy person despite her previous experiences with other guys and if she doesn't your relationship will end quickly. And stick to it. Not sticking to your ultimatums will make you look like a pushover. And tbh, I think that there is a good chance that she is enjoying the sttention. Her statement about how no guys are trustworthy, if she actually believed that she would not have been with you this long.

[Stronk Serb]

My current girlfriend has been asking me if I was somewhere with someone I shouldn't be with and such. I just put on a cold, serious, stern face. Looked at her and said:

If you keep accusing me of having a side chick, I am really going to find one.

She was dead silent afterwards regarding that topic ever since.

Also regarding your situation, man up. If she demands poems, ask her when was the last time she wrote you a poem? If she demands you spend money on her, do not. I'll be honest with you, you are not a bad boyfriend, she is just treating you horribly. If she refuses to budge for you, she is not worth you.

[benlodge123]

I've been dating a girl since November and i am crazy about her. But there is a problem problem is she doesn't trust me, she says she doesn't trust any boy because she thinks we are all liars and will cheat on her i wouldn't do it but proving this to her is a challenge. Every time i am with her she ask me if i've been with any one else, i say no and she grills me about what i've been doing, where i've been who i was with and says she doubts me, its really hard to convince her i didn't see another girl.

She sets me challenges to prove my love and commitment, she makes me to write her poems and love letters everyday, a different one everyday telling her i love her and i don't cheat etc, i don't mind writing them but its hard to keep finding something new to write everyday so i end up repeating a lot of the same stuff or just switching the words around a bit and she tells me i am lazy and not making the effort to write her a nice poem. i honestly try my best.

She wants me to buy her gifts all the time and flowers, i don't get much pocket money and my paper round is not a lot of money. She says i should get a weekend job so i can take her out and buy her stuff, but i have to study also. I get a shit load of extra homework because i under perform in maths and some of my other subjects. My teachers place me in detention a lot and my girlfriend gets mad at me for being in detention when i could be spending time with her.

I love her and i want to please her and look after her, but i feel i am always letting her down but i try so hard i really do but she is never satisfied. She also says she hopes i will get a good job so i can support her when we are adults and she also says she wants me to propose to her one day and surprise her and make it really romantic. I'd love to get married eventually but i feel we are too young to think about it now and she is rushing ahead a bit. I told her that and she got mad at me again :(

I hate making her upset and mad but i seem to do it a lot :( She also has slapped me in the face twice when she was mad and she demands i write her poems and letters to say i am sorry and to ask forgiveness each time i upset her.

How can i be a better boyfriend and stop upsetting her? How do i convince her i don't cheat and how do i write some new poems and love letters? :what:

Love is difficult my friend. Its tricky to learn the do's and don'ts. She is definetly getting her fair share of the "DONT'S" in love. Heres what i think:
You are trying to please her to much, you need to take a step back and think about whether you should really bother with her, if i was you, I would quit it. Get a new girl, who appreciates you, a real grown up girl would never slap anyone, unless they have done something bad. I know that you love her and all that, but does someone like that who is demanding, and self centred deserve love, NO MOST DEFINETLY NOT. Try telling her that until she sorts out her ways, you will not be doing anything like writing poems or anything. A girl should appreciate you for you. Not what they try and mould you into.
Message me if you need more help.

[INACTIVEchaosphere]

I've been dating a girl since November and i am crazy about her. But there is a problem problem is she doesn't trust me, she says she doesn't trust any boy because she thinks we are all liars and will cheat on her i wouldn't do it but proving this to her is a challenge. Every time i am with her she ask me if i've been with any one else, i say no and she grills me about what i've been doing, where i've been who i was with and says she doubts me, its really hard to convince her i didn't see another girl.

She sets me challenges to prove my love and commitment, she makes me to write her poems and love letters everyday, a different one everyday telling her i love her and i don't cheat etc, i don't mind writing them but its hard to keep finding something new to write everyday so i end up repeating a lot of the same stuff or just switching the words around a bit and she tells me i am lazy and not making the effort to write her a nice poem. i honestly try my best.

She wants me to buy her gifts all the time and flowers, i don't get much pocket money and my paper round is not a lot of money. She says i should get a weekend job so i can take her out and buy her stuff, but i have to study also. I get a shit load of extra homework because i under perform in maths and some of my other subjects. My teachers place me in detention a lot and my girlfriend gets mad at me for being in detention when i could be spending time with her.

I love her and i want to please her and look after her, but i feel i am always letting her down but i try so hard i really do but she is never satisfied. She also says she hopes i will get a good job so i can support her when we are adults and she also says she wants me to propose to her one day and surprise her and make it really romantic. I'd love to get married eventually but i feel we are too young to think about it now and she is rushing ahead a bit. I told her that and she got mad at me again :(

I hate making her upset and mad but i seem to do it a lot :( She also has slapped me in the face twice when she was mad and she demands i write her poems and letters to say i am sorry and to ask forgiveness each time i upset her.

How can i be a better boyfriend and stop upsetting her? How do i convince her i don't cheat and how do i write some new poems and love letters? :what:
You sound like a saint for trying to be better for her, and for the right girl you're going to be fantastic but this girl isn't mature enough for a relationship yet. She has to learn to give trust and belief on her own, you can't teach it to her and you'll never prove your loyalty without it. This is totally not healthy and harmful to you and your self esteem, I would end it as soon as possible, for your own health.

[Uniquemind]

She's crazy insecure and I advise you move on.


Knowing your home life from previous father-son posts I've advised you on, I wonder if your parents modeled an unhealthy relationship, and it's subconsciously makes you prone to seek out relationship partners that are abusive.

Just some food for thought. Glad your focusing on your studies more.

[samuel15]

I belive she is just scared and if she is in her first relationship she might be
basing her demands on films, books, series etc.. just try your best and if it's to
hard for you tell her that you are struggeling and don't fell appreciate (if i got
that wrong im sorry).

[KevinT]

I've been dating a girl since November and i am crazy about her. But there is a problem problem is she doesn't trust me, she says she doesn't trust any boy because she thinks we are all liars and will cheat on her i wouldn't do it but proving this to her is a challenge. Every time i am with her she ask me if i've been with any one else, i say no and she grills me about what i've been doing, where i've been who i was with and says she doubts me, its really hard to convince her i didn't see another girl.

She sets me challenges to prove my love and commitment, she makes me to write her poems and love letters everyday, a different one everyday telling her i love her and i don't cheat etc, i don't mind writing them but its hard to keep finding something new to write everyday so i end up repeating a lot of the same stuff or just switching the words around a bit and she tells me i am lazy and not making the effort to write her a nice poem. i honestly try my best.

She wants me to buy her gifts all the time and flowers, i don't get much pocket money and my paper round is not a lot of money. She says i should get a weekend job so i can take her out and buy her stuff, but i have to study also. I get a shit load of extra homework because i under perform in maths and some of my other subjects. My teachers place me in detention a lot and my girlfriend gets mad at me for being in detention when i could be spending time with her.

I love her and i want to please her and look after her, but i feel i am always letting her down but i try so hard i really do but she is never satisfied. She also says she hopes i will get a good job so i can support her when we are adults and she also says she wants me to propose to her one day and surprise her and make it really romantic. I'd love to get married eventually but i feel we are too young to think about it now and she is rushing ahead a bit. I told her that and she got mad at me again :(

I hate making her upset and mad but i seem to do it a lot :( She also has slapped me in the face twice when she was mad and she demands i write her poems and letters to say i am sorry and to ask forgiveness each time i upset her.

How can i be a better boyfriend and stop upsetting her? How do i convince her i don't cheat and how do i write some new poems and love letters? :what:

There is saying about this. The more jealous a person is, the more likely that person is gonna cheat on you. Cause she knows how she feels towards others men, and she probably think you're thinking the same way towards other girls. Take it or leave it, but obcessive jealousy is not a good thing is relationships.

[JustMyHumbleOpinion]

I generally would abandon ship with this person (as hard and harsh as it sounds)
She sounds possessive, and the constant accusations are not a healthy base for a relationship.

She also seems to be affecting other aspects of your life in a negative way, which again is very un-healthy and toxic for a relationship.
For me love is about being happy and generally a person who affects my life in a positive way. she sounds like quite frankly, the opposite.