Toxic relationship, what do I do?

[Sevun]

I have this friend that I will be school leader with next year, and she constantly thinsk that I am being bossy and treating her and my other school leader as slaves. I have done bad things in the past, but lately I haven't done anything that would trigger this response except me writing down something on a document. I wrote down that I would be MC for the assembly and that the others would come in from the back of the hall in an extravagant entrance, and I discussed it with the other school leader who i am on good terms with (there are 4 of us, i have beef with 2 of them) and i swear i discussed it with the other two but apparently not. yeah so she just confronts me about it and goes ballistic, and 1. they were just preliminary, they weren't concrete, 2. when she told me she didn't want to do it, she said it in a tone that was rather demanding and aggressive (this was over text) and so i told her no need to be so aggressive and then she begins this spiel of how if a guy told me the same thing i would accept it as normal, but she's completely wrong lol like wtf it has nothing to do with the gender of the person writing to me

so yeah, i have major beef with one school leader, another school leader who feels the same as her (i plan to talk to this one because he won't turn such a blind eye) and the major beef school leader has turned one of my good friends against me by talking shit to him (he has a crush on her, so he just blindly follows whatever she says). It's hard too, because the leader i have major beef with has this angel reputation, but the more i've gotten to know her, the less i dislike her. i feel like to be not bossy, i have to sugar coat everything and step on eggshells, and i'm so confused but done with her because we've had so many fights in the past. they've all been based around misunderstandings, but because there are so many fights based on misunderstandings, she thinks i'm not learning from my mistakes and i'm just creating excuses and stuff. miscommunication needs two parties to occur. idk what the hell to do

[Just JT]

Maybe try talking to all these people on these topics in a group text or email so you have a record of what you said and to who
And you’ll also be able to choose the words you use and how you use them more carefully before you send the email
Presentation is huge

[jamie_n5]

Things are different in our schools. Each class has a president and vice president and secretary. So you know who is in charge. Then we have a student council with the same officers so the student council president would be the leader and boss so to speak over all the classes. The student council meets with the school administrators and teachers to work out problems and make changes and so forth. The president of each class is also a member of the student council.
Somehow you need to find order and establish a chain of command and work out you problems and grievances.

[Sevun]

update: thanks for the advice thus far but a new problem has emerged

she has claimed me to be bossy and treating her like a slave?! and then taking credit for her work? i'm so confused and all of my friends, as well as friends of mine who are both our friends, have said they don't think i take credit. it's so weird to see such a sudden change in her attitude lately, and she keeps thinking that i'm out to control her, and out to get her. it's rather frustrating and upsetting :(

[Sevun]

bump please help

[Dalcourt]

I don't really know about this school leader thing cuz like jamie_n5 said I just know about class presidents and stuff.
But I don't think that really matters.

It's difficult to offer help for this kind of situation since we are only able to see your side but not the other one.
Nevertheless from my personal experience I learned that if someone accused me of acting bossy and being an asshole of some sort there was usually some truth in it.
It's not that others just accuse you out of thin air.

I know for example that I have a very bossy and authorian demeanor. I may look small and rather unimportant but even without wanting I have this air of commanding people around when I want things to be done and I quickly get into a bad temper when things don't go according to plan. We did a school project once and after a while everyone complained about me acting like an army general.

It's not that I want to boss others around and I often don't even realise I do. But it is the way others feel about my actions.
Therefore to avoid this stuff nowadays I just talk about it with people in advance telling them they should note me when I am starting to become an asshole again.

Why do I tell you this here? Sometimes we don't realise how our actions are seen by others and not everyone's prepared to say something before the situation gets worse.
So if people accuse you of stuff there is a grain of truth in the things they accuse you of I'm afraid. And you can only safe this situation by sitting down and honestly talk, apologies if necessary and over all try a fresh start with those people.

[Sevun]

I don't really know about this school leader thing cuz like jamie_n5 said I just know about class presidents and stuff.
But I don't think that really matters.

It's difficult to offer help for this kind of situation since we are only able to see your side but not the other one.
Nevertheless from my personal experience I learned that if someone accused me of acting bossy and being an asshole of some sort there was usually some truth in it.
It's not that others just accuse you out of thin air.

I know for example that I have a very bossy and authorian demeanor. I may look small and rather unimportant but even without wanting I have this air of commanding people around when I want things to be done and I quickly get into a bad temper when things don't go according to plan. We did a school project once and after a while everyone complained about me acting like an army general.

It's not that I want to boss others around and I often don't even realise I do. But it is the way others feel about my actions.
Therefore to avoid this stuff nowadays I just talk about it with people in advance telling them they should note me when I am starting to become an asshole again.

Why do I tell you this here? Sometimes we don't realise how our actions are seen by others and not everyone's prepared to say something before the situation gets worse.
So if people accuse you of stuff there is a grain of truth in the things they accuse you of I'm afraid. And you can only safe this situation by sitting down and honestly talk, apologies if necessary and over all try a fresh start with those people.

Yeah I've been reflecting and I have come off bossy some times, I just wish she sort of pulled it up earlier instead of letting it boil up inside of her and thinking that I was out to manipulate her. Idk I normally take charge of group assignments because I have high standards and I know how to push people. I'm not really bossy I don't think, but yeah there may be a grain of truth... thing is i've been friends with this girl for +2 years and only now has this sort of crap been going on
thanks for the advice as always Dalcourt