Incompatible with my parents

[NeonBlueButterfly]

I really need to just rant a little bit here. I have realized for a long time that my parents and I are just not compatible in any way. They'll complain about how the "homosexual agenda" is destroying America, so I have to try to force myself to not acknowledge how attracted I am to other girls. They insist that I go to church every Sunday and Wednesday, and so I paste a fake smile on my face and say all the right words about a religion that I simply don't believe in. Every day is filled with me being careful to say the right things and act in just the right way so that they don't suspect that I'm not the person they're trying to make me be, because they have straight up said things like "if you choose to like girls, you will not be welcome in this house".

Today, the big debate that they thought I couldn't hear was about college. Dad's position is that college is no place for a good Christian girl (which I'm not, but I can't bring that up), that I'm supposed to just work with the church until I find a husband, then have kids and just be a housewife. My mother's only disagreement with that is that she thinks that college (a private, religious one, naturally) would be a great place for me to find that husband so that I can settle down and be a housewife. No mention was made about me learning what I might want to do with my life, or learning about myself, or improving in any way. The debate was pretty much about exactly how I am to go about finding a husband that I don't want anyway.

At this point, I'm ranking potential colleges based on how far away they are from here. I just have to find a way to stick it out until I turn 18, and then I can go off to college and never deal with this again.

Thanks to anyone who put up with this mini rant of mine. Sometimes it's helpful to just write it out.

[Just JT]

What century does your parents live in?

[ska8er]

Ur right there-stick out the remaining
time u have to listen to ur parents
ramblings and get away to college
and then when u r of legal age go
out on ur own and b ur own person.

[Jinglebottom]

Wow, that is beyond fucked up. Your parents are in for a reality check.

[lliam]

imo, your parents are so pleasant villagers. you calmly should introduce'em to colors.

[NeonBlueButterfly]

Thanks everyone! :)

Living like this has been so stressful, and it's nice to know that I have a place where I can let it out, and that people are actually supportive and at least willing to consider my side of the story. You're all awesome! :)

[NewLeafsFan]

I think that you have brought up a problem in society that is rarely talked about. People raising their kids with extreme religious beliefs. They twist things so that if you have an opinion that differs from theirs, you are not arguing with them, you are arguing with some almighty God or deity (so you most be wrong and they must be right). Clearly, raising children in this pathetic atmosphere is abusive.

As far as the homosexual aspect, I think you should do more not arguing than agreeing. I doubt that they force you to say "I hate gays" or something to that effect. As a Christian that is accepting of homosexuals, I think that your parents have gotten really far away from the basics of their religion such as love, joy, and acceptance (which is hypocritical). A Buddhist monk once wrote that bigotry in religion is still bigotry. I would add to it that bigotry in religion is bigotry plus a side of cowardliness. They don't say what they believe, they hide behind a mask of their religious beliefs.

One last thing, when you go off to college it isn't just the end of your parents. I recently discovered how much time I spend with them and how much i still depend on them since I moved away. It might make it more bearable but you still won't be able to come out of the closet to them. You need a place to stay in the summer.