Karkat
March 7th, 2014, 02:30 AM
Alright, so first off, I am bigender. (For those of you who don't know already. :P )
Something you might not know (as it's more of a recent personal revelation) is that I felt I was trans when I was young. I never felt comfortable with my body then. I had a hard time trying to be a girl.
But once I got towards the end of puberty, I had a hard time posing as a boy. So I would constantly make sure I was wearing figure-flattering clothes, lots of jewelry and makeup. I felt like no one would take me seriously as a boy, so I had to be as girly as I could be.
Recently, I've tried posing as a boy. But it didn't really work. My hair was too long, and I just looked strange. I wanted so badly to get a haircut, so I'd feel more androgynous as a whole. And aside from that, the one picture I felt I looked like a boy in, everyone told me "nah, you still look female." (Trying to be helpful, I'm sure, but it was still a downer.) I had short hair in that picture. I felt like getting a haircut would never help, and that I'd just have to take feeling the way I did forever.
But then, I took the leap. I got my hair cut and dyed. I dressed up as a boy one day, to try it out. It felt good. I took a couple pictures, and posted them on Facebook a few days later.
The comments I received made me feel AMAZING. I got tons of (positive) comments saying that I looked like a boy from friends who don't know. One of my best friends said I look like his twin now. (I don't think he was just being nice, I think he was serious, which is kinda funny. XD)
So the next day, I posed as a boy again, and yet again, it felt perfect. I posted more pictures, and one of my other best friends (who knows) said that he genuinely thought the pictures were of a guy.
My boyfriend even ended up calling me his "sexy guy" :wub: <3
I've gotten so much confidence from all of this. I finally feel like I can portray myself as who I want to be, and not just whom I'm expected to be, and that's wonderful.
I'm still unsure as to whether or not to come out, but regardless, this has been great for me. I used to have so much gender dysphoria- now I have gender euphoria! (Corny tie in is corny.)
Something you might not know (as it's more of a recent personal revelation) is that I felt I was trans when I was young. I never felt comfortable with my body then. I had a hard time trying to be a girl.
But once I got towards the end of puberty, I had a hard time posing as a boy. So I would constantly make sure I was wearing figure-flattering clothes, lots of jewelry and makeup. I felt like no one would take me seriously as a boy, so I had to be as girly as I could be.
Recently, I've tried posing as a boy. But it didn't really work. My hair was too long, and I just looked strange. I wanted so badly to get a haircut, so I'd feel more androgynous as a whole. And aside from that, the one picture I felt I looked like a boy in, everyone told me "nah, you still look female." (Trying to be helpful, I'm sure, but it was still a downer.) I had short hair in that picture. I felt like getting a haircut would never help, and that I'd just have to take feeling the way I did forever.
But then, I took the leap. I got my hair cut and dyed. I dressed up as a boy one day, to try it out. It felt good. I took a couple pictures, and posted them on Facebook a few days later.
The comments I received made me feel AMAZING. I got tons of (positive) comments saying that I looked like a boy from friends who don't know. One of my best friends said I look like his twin now. (I don't think he was just being nice, I think he was serious, which is kinda funny. XD)
So the next day, I posed as a boy again, and yet again, it felt perfect. I posted more pictures, and one of my other best friends (who knows) said that he genuinely thought the pictures were of a guy.
My boyfriend even ended up calling me his "sexy guy" :wub: <3
I've gotten so much confidence from all of this. I finally feel like I can portray myself as who I want to be, and not just whom I'm expected to be, and that's wonderful.
I'm still unsure as to whether or not to come out, but regardless, this has been great for me. I used to have so much gender dysphoria- now I have gender euphoria! (Corny tie in is corny.)