Unable to Identify Physical Attractiveness?

[BebeFleur.]

This is a bit hard for me to explain, so please bear with my rambling :). And I also apologize in advance if this is in the incorrect thread, I was unsure of where this should be placed.

I can't tell when someone looks attractive. For me, seeing an attractive person (or so I've been told) is no different than seeing a different (apparently not attractive) stranger. I'm not asexual (at least with the definition I have learned), I get sexually and romantically attracted to people, but this has only happened to me with this one guy I like, and after I have known him for a while. I currently identify my sexuality as Heterosexual/Demisexual/Somewhat Sapiosexual. But then again, I'm not really that sure.

When someone is "attractive" (even if I don't want to form a realtion, or are personally attractive), I base it generally on personality (intelligence, humor, respect, and kindness). For example, if I see a boy at my school (after having known him enough to know his personality a bit), I may consider him to be "attractive" if he possess qualities I consider to be atractive. I understand that many people may solely base attraction on personality, but my confusion lies in my inability to identify one as attractive.

I understand that everyone has a different type of people they consider "hot" or "cute," but shouldn't I be able to see what might make someone generally considered attractive, attractive? For example, I've looked up, and been shown, photos of popular celebrities/movie stars such as Channing Tatum, Justin Bieber, One Direction, Zac Efron, Johnny Depp, and many others, and I just can't see why they are (mostly) so well liked for their looks. Seeing a strange guy that I don't know shirtless just makes me uncomfortable, I'd rather them have clothing. However, I dont feel this way if it is a guy a am attracted to. I can identify unattractive attributes (to me), such as long hair, tattoos, piercings, overly baggy clothing, etc.

Maybe this post made no sense and just ran in circles, but I thank you for you time and any input you provide.

[Blood]

Wel I think you answered your own question here- the definition of what is attractive and what isn't attractive varies with each individual. Of course the majority of people are going to associate the word "attractive" with Channing Tatum, Johnny Depp, Zac Efron, etc because that's what the media wants us to believe is attractive. They push for the way celebrities look to be considered appealing, sexually and nonsexually.

I completely understand how you feel though. I'm similar. I form a lot of my opinion on a person based on their personality. Looks are important, don't get me wrong, but looks definitely aren't everything.

[Synyster Shadows]

Wel I think you answered your own question here- the definition of what is attractive and what isn't attractive varies with each individual. Of course the majority of people are going to associate the word "attractive" to Channing Tatum, Johnny Depp, Zac Efron, etc because that's what the media wants us to believe is attractive. They push for the way celebrities look to be considered appealing, sexually and nonsexually.

I completely understand how you feel though. I'm similar. I form a lot of my opinion on a person based on their personality. Looks are important, don't get me wrong, but looks definitely aren't everything.

I agree with Jess. No two people are the same. Personality is better than looks so yeah

[ksdnfkfr]

I think the saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is very true.
There are many celebs that are supposed to be super attractive and I rarely get why.
And also holds true for ordinary looking people who are supposed to be unattractive.
All seems so superficial and is totally unimportant to me.
I go for personality over supposed good looks anytime.

[Karkat]

I'm demisexual for the most part. I don't really judge attractiveness on looks so much as personality. I didn't think my boyfriend was attractive until I got to know him. Seems pretty normal in my opinion, but then again I know for a fact that I don't experience attraction the way most people do.

[Melodic]

I'm the same exact way... One of my ex boyfriends, I loved his personality so when he asked me out I said yes. I remember when I first started dating him, everyone kept coming up to me saying how unattractive he is and how I should break up with him because he doesn't look like that guy or that guy.. Usually the guys they pointed out were not who I'd consider attractive so I stood up to them and told them personality is what makes them attractive not what they look like.. So of course, rumors started spreading around saying I was pregnant.. It was a lovely experience but I didn't care because I stood up for my opinion. After we stopped dating, we became really close friends and we still got the same rumors.

It just sickens me though how people could be so cruel and stuck up..