crushing on a transboy

[Max the Disenchanter]

i grew up with this girl in my school who now identifies as a boy. he's been taking blockers or whatever since 12 or 13 so he hasn't really developed any female characteristics. we actually look like twins now haha. anyway, for some reason, i've developed a serious crush on him even though i'm pretty straight.

we talk occasionally in class and there's just something about him that i love lol. i don't know what gender he's attracted to, though. i guess he could be gay, bi, or straight or whatever. i guess i'm hoping he's gay so there's a chance haha. this is all super weird for me because i don't find any other boys sexually attractive. obviously he still has a vagina so that's probably it. i also kinda wonder if the blockers he's taking delay sexual attraction... i hope not.

anyway, how should i go about a) finding if he's gay and b) asking him on a date of some nature? i don't want to freak him out or anything.

[ska8er]

"He probably has a vagina so that is it"
That is what? I take it u r gay but r not
interested sexually in boys. Do u show a
interest in him cause he has a vagina?
Then u r Straight. Besides everything
if u like him and have feelings for him
then ask him if he likes u. Its confusing
but a lot of puberty and trans feelings r
that way. I would say u r curious and Bi.

[zzzzzzzzzz]

i grew up with this girl in my school who now identifies as a boy. he's been taking blockers or whatever since 12 or 13 so he hasn't really developed any female characteristics. we actually look like twins now haha. anyway, for some reason, i've developed a serious crush on him even though i'm pretty straight.

we talk occasionally in class and there's just something about him that i love lol. i don't know what gender he's attracted to, though. i guess he could be gay, bi, or straight or whatever. i guess i'm hoping he's gay so there's a chance haha. this is all super weird for me because i don't find any other boys sexually attractive. obviously he still has a vagina so that's probably it. i also kinda wonder if the blockers he's taking delay sexual attraction... i hope not.

anyway, how should i go about a) finding if he's gay and b) asking him on a date of some nature? i don't want to freak him out or anything.

Just chat with him a bit more. Invite him to ur house or find somewhere private for a chat. Ask questions that start on "how do you feel about..." and take it from there. ake it slow at first and see what happens

[Nikki_1]

Hmmm this is a strange situation, I think that no matter what we call ourselves our physical attributes really define our gender. I don't want to sound like I'm condescending or anything but when 'push comes to shove' then theres no getting round it...'she' maybe calling herself 'he' and thats fine but 'physically' he's a 'she' still so i cant see a problem.
I guess its like a guy having gender-reassignment to become a lesbian... so confusing.

[Just JT]

This is a friend right? Someone you can ask typical personal questions of?
If your friend is going through this kinda transition I’m pretty sure she’d want you to ask questions about what’s going on and stuff. And when the time is right seems pretty natural to ask what gender they are sexually attracted to

How are you doing with all your recent things your learning about yourself?

[PaulieJ]

You're 15 and going through puberty and have known your friend a long time. Maybe all that's happening is your hormones are making you feel an attraction to your friend because you are close to him, not because he's going through the process. And no attraction during puberty defines your sexuality, it takes some time for a lot of us to figure it all out.

[Harrier]

You could be partly attracted to him because he looks like you. Also I am attracted to people who sorta are unique and march to the beat of their own drums (as well as people who are just really attractive, but for whatever reason the unique also attracts me). You could be that way too? IDK. Doesn't really matter why we are attracted to whatever, as long as we know it when we see it I guess. As for finding out more info on him ... do you know him well enough to ask him about his transition and what he likes? If not, you could just walk up and introduce yourself and ask.

[andrea03]

wow that's really strange.

[jamie_n5]

You need to tread very carefully with him. Someone that is transgender is very delicate emotionally and you need to be very patient and maybe accept just being great friends until they are ready for more. Just keep being a great friend and being supportive of him and see how things go for you two.

[LRSSS02]

wow that's really strange.

whats strange about exploring your sexual attraction

[andrea03]

whats strange about exploring your sexual attraction

i mean the situation. not bad strange. just unique.

[LRSSS02]

i mean the situation. not bad strange. just unique.

true, true

[andrea03]

true, true

lol kind of jealous. sounds like this kid goes to a super liberal school

[LRSSS02]

lol kind of jealous. sounds like this kid goes to a super liberal school

me or max

[andrea03]

me or max

max02 yeah

[LRSSS02]

yeah, its cool that he was just accepted in their school