I need advice

[Griff15]

I’ve known this girl for about two years now. I’m 15 and we both met in school, she’s in the year below me. She’s funny, a little awkward around other people at times but we’re close enough now that I’m happy to think she’s open and relaxed around me. She’s gone through a lot. She doesn’t have the most supportive mother, she self harms and she’s attempted suicide more than once. She’s been hospitalised the most recent time it has happened. The last time affected me more than I thought it would. I couldn’t stop thinking about her before and since she tried to... i’ve been non stop thinking about her and worrying about her and just texting her or going up to her in school whenever I can.

She’s a beautiful girl, she could have anybody she wanted. One night I had my heart set on asking her out on a proper date, going out somewhere nice taking her out to eat. In the end I just asked her if we could move the our friendship onto something more. I’ve asked her this in the past but this time I think was more serious than the rest. She told me she couldn’t handle a relationship now because of everything that has been going on (mentioned above). So I asked her “so that’s a definite no? because if it is, that’s fine.” with the intent of completely moving on knowing she doesn’t have the same feelings for me as I have for her. I’m mature enough to get that. But then she replied with “not right now, not any time soon. But i’m not saying never”. And it’s been playing with me. I’ve told my friends what she said and they’ve all told me she’s trying to play with me, giving me a false sense of hope for something that won’t be there, but I don’t believe them.

A friend from my year had a party last night. The girl is in the year below me and so all my friends at the party were a year older than her. But she was set on coming anyway. This was after I’d asked her out. She came and it was a decent night, had some fun I guess. Now, I don’t drink but everyone else at the party did, including her. As I mentioned before she’s extremely attractive and she could have anybody she wanted. She ended up “getting on” with a couple people, including a girl, which I thought I would be fine with, but it just keeps repeating in my head everything that happened, everyone she kissed, it’s killing me. At the party I sat down with her and she sat on my lap and told me “you do know it’s all for show, I’m just trying to fit in” and I told her I understood. She asked “if you don’t want me kissing her (the girl she kissed) then why didn’t you say anything?” I told her that I wanted to but I didn’t want to look so overly jealous that I didn’t let anybody near her. We hugged for a while and she looked me dead in the eye and asked me “do you love me” I answered yes. She got up, got some more drink, and carried on the party. I didn’t get a chance to talk to her again.

I don’t know if I’m using this just to vent or to actually ask advice. I guess if I were to ask advice it would be, what should I do? I honestly love this girl. She’s amazing, her smile gives me life, everytime she speaks to me my heart just beats faster. I’ve had people tell me I only love her with my eyes and what I see but I honestly see that second. She’s an amazing person but I just don’t know whether I should wait and see if she actually wants a relationship in the future, or to move on and forget about her in a relationship-way.

If you’ve bothered to read through all this rubbish then thank you and I’d really like to hear some opinions of what I should do.

[Just JT]

At first read I think she might have feelings for you but also afraid or not know how to show them appropriately. And that’s gonna be a big key word for her. She need attention, and the kind you wana give her may not be the best Kinda attention she needs

And she may also be a self centered bitch acting like that with you and knowing your watching her, knowing you crush her. Then to sit on your lap and say that to you?

Move on bro, she may be a friend and that’s cool, so just friend one here and move on

[NewLeafsFan]

She needs space right now. She has gone through a lot and put you through a fair bit in the process. I think that you need back off. She isn't capable of emotionally supporting herself right now, nevermind a relationship. Making out at a party and going out with someone consistently are two different things that requires two different levels of emotional involvement.

I really don't think that it was smart of you to ask if she would never go out with you. She is in a bad place emotionally and just after she had to reject you, you tried to get her to say she would never date you.

She is a friend and you cannot put yourself through waiting around for her. In my opinion she's not playing you but she will probably never end up going out with you. Move on. I like to challenge people that are emotionally hurting to ask someone else for their number. It's confidence building and it reminds you that there are other fish in the sea. You should try it.

[Danieldv77]

It depends how everything plays out...
Trust me, nothing ever goes the way you think it will.
But anyways, if you still want to go after her after all that, go for it, but give her some space. This predicament seems to be hinging on a huge IF, that being if she truly ever intended to date you in the first place. Finding such a thing out is going to be difficult, especially given the circumstances listed, but my suggestion would be to wait and watch as things play out, as directly asking her or hassling her is going to be detrimental to both you and her. That's really all you can do at this point, until something happens that gives you your answer.

[jamie_n5]

I think she is mentally unstable and is just playing games with you. The only thing that I do believe is that she is sincerely trying to fit in. Her life is obviously littered in problems and depression and anxiety. I think you could be friends but nothing more than that. Move on ahead and look for an other girl.