How to know if im gay , bi , or straight ?

[Allie1998]

First of all ... congrats if you can actually make it through reading all of this :metal:
Second of all this is probably gonna be alot and very strange

Anyways i started feeling like i was into other girls when i was 13 because i developed a crush on a female cartoon character. Then after that i started analyzing some things . Like how i always wanted to put my arms around and hug my females friends alot ... and how my dad acted like it was weird and how like my friend got weirded out by it. And how i had " gay moments " with my friend that i actually kind of liked ( nothing major ... like accidently touching or bumping into eachother ... stupid shit like that) then i started to think maybe i had a crush on her because i anyways wanted to hold her hand and hug her ( which i did sometimes ... but it didnt make her feel comfortable so i tried to stop being so touchy) and im 19 now and i still feel that way around her when i see her (not alot since i moved towns ) but she has a boyfriend . Anyways back then i did have a crush on a guy as well but he didnt even really know me but i was like obessed with him for like maybe that school year and eventually got over him . And then i had boyfriends that never were really much no kissing or anything . But still got sad af when we broke up . Then i had my boyfriend who i had my first kiss with and sexual experience with ( not full blown sex though ) . Our first kiss was okay ... i was shocked and it took a few times for me to actually start kissing him back ... then he tried to french kiss me ... and i punched him . Some things he did felt really good like when we made out and he sort of grinded on me and kissed my neck ( like hickies ) but he always was too rough with my boobs and stuff and he tried to finger me but it hurt . And i also made weak attempts at giving him a handjob . And he has that hygenic and was a tad over weight ... so it makes me hesitant in using him to determine my sexuality ... ( no offense it was more the hygenic part that was disturbing honestly) so that happened . And we broke up and i was again devastated because i really did care for him alot maybe even loved but idk i was young . ( like 15 or16) . Anyways during that i time i dated him i was felt attracted to another guy online and sexted him ( which i feel so terrible about now and regret alot ) and my feelings for my female friend didnt really go away . And there was an incident on his birthday when i was sort of like cuddling with my other female friend ( laying my head of her lap ) but then she ditched me for her boyfriend and i felt like super upset about it at the time . Anyways sometimes when i see a super pretty girl i imagine what itd be like to hold her hold and take her on dates ... cuddle with her ... romantic things like that . But I dont really ... rarely ever look at a female and get super turned or anything . Ive tested myself by thinking about boys sexually and girls sexually and i managed to come to both . But sometimes lesbian sex seems gross to me but this also happens with thinking anout straight sex as well . But i still feel like i really wamt to try having sex with a female because i dont know i just feel a desire to try it. See i feel like id like to try things with a female but im scared i wont like it or like i will get grossed out . And im like super into things like yaoi so i dont think i call myself lesbian and calling myself straight doesn't feel right either . I think i might be bi or bicurious ... but what if im tricking myself to think that way ... because in weird some way i sort of want to be lesbian? And its so weird that I've had to question myself for so long . It almost feels like being straight would be a death sentence for me and idk why . It is all so confusing for me ... and i really hope you dont judge for me being this weird .

[SethfromMI]

First of all ... congrats if you can actually make it through reading all of this :metal:
Second of all this is probably gonna be alot and very strange

Anyways i started feeling like i was into other girls when i was 13 because i developed a crush on a female cartoon character. Then after that i started analyzing some things . Like how i always wanted to put my arms around and hug my females friends alot ... and how my dad acted like it was weird and how like my friend got weirded out by it. And how i had " gay moments " with my friend that i actually kind of liked ( nothing major ... like accidently touching or bumping into eachother ... stupid shit like that) then i started to think maybe i had a crush on her because i anyways wanted to hold her hand and hug her ( which i did sometimes ... but it didnt make her feel comfortable so i tried to stop being so touchy) and im 19 now and i still feel that way around her when i see her (not alot since i moved towns ) but she has a boyfriend . Anyways back then i did have a crush on a guy as well but he didnt even really know me but i was like obessed with him for like maybe that school year and eventually got over him . And then i had boyfriends that never were really much no kissing or anything . But still got sad af when we broke up . Then i had my boyfriend who i had my first kiss with and sexual experience with ( not full blown sex though ) . Our first kiss was okay ... i was shocked and it took a few times for me to actually start kissing him back ... then he tried to french kiss me ... and i punched him . Some things he did felt really good like when we made out and he sort of grinded on me and kissed my neck ( like hickies ) but he always was too rough with my boobs and stuff and he tried to finger me but it hurt . And i also made weak attempts at giving him a handjob . And he has that hygenic and was a tad over weight ... so it makes me hesitant in using him to determine my sexuality ... ( no offense it was more the hygenic part that was disturbing honestly) so that happened . And we broke up and i was again devastated because i really did care for him alot maybe even loved but idk i was young . ( like 15 or16) . Anyways during that i time i dated him i was felt attracted to another guy online and sexted him ( which i feel so terrible about now and regret alot ) and my feelings for my female friend didnt really go away . And there was an incident on his birthday when i was sort of like cuddling with my other female friend ( laying my head of her lap ) but then she ditched me for her boyfriend and i felt like super upset about it at the time . Anyways sometimes when i see a super pretty girl i imagine what itd be like to hold her hold and take her on dates ... cuddle with her ... romantic things like that . But I dont really ... rarely ever look at a female and get super turned or anything . Ive tested myself by thinking about boys sexually and girls sexually and i managed to come to both . But sometimes lesbian sex seems gross to me but this also happens with thinking anout straight sex as well . But i still feel like i really wamt to try having sex with a female because i dont know i just feel a desire to try it. See i feel like id like to try things with a female but im scared i wont like it or like i will get grossed out . And im like super into things like yaoi so i dont think i call myself lesbian and calling myself straight doesn't feel right either . I think i might be bi or bicurious ... but what if im tricking myself to think that way ... because in weird some way i sort of want to be lesbian? And its so weird that I've had to question myself for so long . It almost feels like being straight would be a death sentence for me and idk why . It is all so confusing for me ... and i really hope you dont judge for me being this weird .

It is a very confusing thing to come to a conclusion to. All I can say is don't be in a rush and time will often tell where on the sexuality spectrum you fall. You may end up doing something with a girl and realize it is not for you. You might not to do anything and just grow out of thinking that way. You might discover you do like boys and girls. Sometimes being able to tell definitively is hard. Also don't be worried about labels, esp at this point.

[yeehaw]

Hey there, welcome to the site Allie :)

All I need to say is that you shouldn’t try and label yourself. I know it’s gonna be really hard not to because I’m honestly the same and I’m kind of in the same boat right now. I worry a lot about labels and what people think and honestly it’s easier to save yourself the excess stress. It doesn’t matter if you’re a lesbian, bi or straight: you’re Allie. And regardless of your sexuality you’re still going to be you.

As Seth above me said, in years to come you might think differently and have different preferences to what you have now so time will tell. Try not to worry about what you are and aren’t because it’s you and in one way or another you will have to accept it.

Good luck! :)

[hesaidhesaid]

Let life run its course. You will know when you know, and when it hits you (at least in my experience) - it'll hit you like a train.
Labels (at this point) are not the most important thing and let's face it - like other people have said here, you're going to be you whatever it is. Enjoy the ride - acceptance is key.

[jamie_n5]

Welcome to VT! You are born the sexuality that you are. You are at the age where many people are confused about their sexuality. Don't get all worked up about it. Just go ahead and enjoy your life and do the things you enjoy. You will come to terms of what your sexuality is eventually so don't rush it or push yourself.

[Miss Ophelia]

Dont worry about labels and names. Just be yourself and think and do what comes naturally to yourself.

[lliam]

time will sort it out, if it's even a necessary thing.