I did it

[Thatgirl96]

A couple days ago I started cutting myself my mom just started going at me telling me Im lazy hateful disgusting not good enough and some other things! When she left my room I was so hurt crying feeling like I just wanted to end it all!! I got into my drawer and found a sharp seam ripper and started cutting my hip over and over at and it mentally made me feel a little bit better!! Yesterday I was all down and out and feeling upset and hurt and at dinner time my mom starts yelling at me over nothing at all so i went to the bathroom got my tool again and cut my other hip worse than the day before and I got in the shower and just cried! Now every time she yells at me or something goes wrong I cut because it feels like the only way out and it helps so much! I held everything in that has happened to me over that past few years and now that I started I feel that I cant stop I have this spot deep down thats upset~ hurt~ sick and a part that hates everything! Im trying so hard to stay strong by not letting anyone know how Im feeling its so hard to smile and try n act happy when all you wanna do is cry and be alone! Im trying so hard to cover up my scars because I dont when anyone ever knowing! My best friend is also going through the same thing and its so hard to be happy anymore!! I never in a million year thought I would cut!:(

[Deiform]

I would recommend that you talk to your mom about whats going on. Maybe seeing a therapist might help. It is also good to find ways to release your emotions in a less destructive way. I have been self harming for a few months, and therapy has really helped. Try to go for a walk instead, or make cookies, or even draw something. Dont keep letting your anger build, it has to be released. There are guides (the stickied ones) that provide some good advice as well. Just remember: Whatever you do, whatever you say, stay strong. Your life is worth it, trust me. You may not see it now, but it is worth living.

[MechaSniper]

A couple days ago I started cutting myself my mom just started going at me telling me Im lazy hateful disgusting not good enough and some other things! When she left my room I was so hurt crying feeling like I just wanted to end it all!! I got into my drawer and found a sharp seam ripper and started cutting my hip over and over at and it mentally made me feel a little bit better!! Yesterday I was all down and out and feeling upset and hurt and at dinner time my mom starts yelling at me over nothing at all so i went to the bathroom got my tool again and cut my other hip worse than the day before and I got in the shower and just cried! Now every time she yells at me or something goes wrong I cut because it feels like the only way out and it helps so much! I held everything in that has happened to me over that past few years and now that I started I feel that I cant stop I have this spot deep down thats upset~ hurt~ sick and a part that hates everything! Im trying so hard to stay strong by not letting anyone know how Im feeling its so hard to smile and try n act happy when all you wanna do is cry and be alone! Im trying so hard to cover up my scars because I dont when anyone ever knowing! My best friend is also going through the same thing and its so hard to be happy anymore!! I never in a million year thought I would cut!:(

If you don't mind me asking, How does injuring yourself help?

[Tarannosaurus]

:hug: the first time cutting brings up so many horrible emotions, I have so much empathy for you, it's a horrible thing to go through. Do you think there's anyone that can help you? If so, now is the time to go to them before it gets worse, you're perfectly entitled to be helped with this. If you really don't feel ready for that, then the main thing is to try and stop cutting. In the long run, it really won't help, since you've only started you should try and quit now before it becomes a necessity . You may have felt disappointed in yourself when you cut, but please don't be. It's not natural to bottle up feelings, we just have to release them in some way. There is a list here (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=190748) of some ways to avoid cutting, some other things that are helpful in releasing pent up emotions are talking to someone you trust, writing it, screaming into a pillow, going for a run, there are a lot of possibilities so try to find something that works for you. I really hope things go well for you in the end, take care and remember that there are people who care about you :)

[Croconaw]

If you don't mind me asking, How does injuring yourself help?
It takes the pain away.

[ImagineRepublicCity]

Talk to someone. Really. It can be anyone. Friend, sibling, counselor, someone you can trust. I know you probably don't want to talk to your mum but if you can, try to. I know it can be difficult and the way they react can be different. I wrote a note to my mum. I didn't want to be confronted by her. I gave it to her before school started so she could think it over.
Try and stop, okay? For me. Whenever you're upset listen to music and sing your favourite songs. keep on singing them again and again. It helps you forget to feel and makes everything seem unimportant. Try alternative because I really care for you and I want you to be okay.
If you like, we can Skype or something. I know it's hard to see it, but things will get better. xx

[MechaSniper]

It takes the pain away.

So fight fire with fire? (or in this case pain with pain)?

[Karkat]

Talk to someone. Really. It can be anyone. Friend, sibling, counselor, someone you can trust. I know you probably don't want to talk to your mum but if you can, try to. I know it can be difficult and the way they react can be different. I wrote a note to my mum. I didn't want to be confronted by her. I gave it to her before school started so she could think it over.
Try and stop, okay? For me. Whenever you're upset listen to music and sing your favourite songs. keep on singing them again and again. It helps you forget to feel and makes everything seem unimportant. Try alternative because I really care for you and I want you to be okay.
If you like, we can Skype or something. I know it's hard to see it, but things will get better. xx

I would recommend that you talk to your mom about whats going on. Maybe seeing a therapist might help. It is also good to find ways to release your emotions in a less destructive way. I have been self harming for a few months, and therapy has really helped. Try to go for a walk instead, or make cookies, or even draw something. Dont keep letting your anger build, it has to be released. There are guides (the stickied ones) that provide some good advice as well. Just remember: Whatever you do, whatever you say, stay strong. Your life is worth it, trust me. You may not see it now, but it is worth living.

I would talk to SOMEONE, however, I do not think Mom is a good choice. The mom sounds potentially abusive (emotionally. Just as valid as physical abuse.) and if nothing else, nonresponsive. I would talk to someone you can trust to actually help. If you think Mom's a good choice, talk to her. I don't blame you if you feel like someone else would be better though. It's ok.

If you don't mind me asking, How does injuring yourself help?

It can make the pain feel real. For me, there's this huge problem of feeling invalid when my pain is emotional. Especially if no one seems to listen/care/understand. Dropping a lit match on my skin was concrete. There were scars. I felt the pain, I lived through it, my pain was real.

Also, the adrenaline that comes from it can help. There would be times I'd 'choke' myself, and I would get an adrenaline rush afterwards, and my mental state would be entirely changed for like five minutes.

[radsniper]

that is close to how i started but now the voice inside of me is screaming and i'm keeping it all pent up inside of me and it makes me feel worse so it will probably take a week but i'm going to find someone to talk to hope that you can to