My orientation is a mess

[Kaeneus]

I am only sexually attracted to men, but I have no romantic interest in them at all.

I am only romantically interested in women, but I have no sexual interest in them at all.

It's... a hell of a situation, and kind of stops me from being able to have a relationship with either. Men, because I am incapable of developing romantic feelings for them, and women because at the age I'm at sex is an important part of a relationship and I'd really have to force myself to have sex with a woman, I think.

I'd just really like any advice or input from anyone who's felt similar?

[ska8er]

Like I said in another post I don't know
anyone who feels this way so I really don't
know what to say but no one should force
themselves to have sex if they don't have
any feeling with that person or u r not
getting anything out of it.

[alex67]

I feel kind of the same except I could have relationships with men too so I know what you may feel. Appart from that you should NOT force yourself into anything you don't want to do, so I'd say maybe experiment a bit more, try to be with men and women and maybe you relize there may be some exceptions to your likes and dislikes. :p

[jamie_n5]

I really don't know what to say here. I am sorry for what you are going through. You may need to seek professional help and counseling.

[azurzg]

I am only sexually attracted to men, but I have no romantic interest in them at all.

I am only romantically interested in women, but I have no sexual interest in them at all.

It's... a hell of a situation, and kind of stops me from being able to have a relationship with either. Men, because I am incapable of developing romantic feelings for them, and women because at the age I'm at sex is an important part of a relationship and I'd really have to force myself to have sex with a woman, I think.

I'd just really like any advice or input from anyone who's felt similar?


Simple solutions... find a female best friend and a male fuck-buddy.

[noah.whynot]

While I'm not in your situation and so can't really give specific advice, I can't believe that you'd be the only person in this situation, and hopefully there are others on VT that could provide some of their thoughts on how they may have (or not) been able to cope with this. I guess maybe one thing I'd do if I felt that way would be to think about what I'd want or expect from a future relationship. For example, would your ideal situation be a romantic/emotional relationship with a woman who is asexual (I think that's the term I read somewhere) and would be okay with you having an FWB situation that satisfies your sexual need with men? Or a woman that's in the same boat so to say (e.g. she wants sex with other women, but an emotional relationship with a guy)? Just what I think i guess. I hope you get some other advice.

[Harrier]

So I'm assuming by your profile info that you identify as a guy?

My suggestion ... besides telling this to a relationship therapist/sex therapist/ counselor AND telling this to your medical docor to see if they can help with hormones and stuff ... is to date who you romantically like (in your case women). And hope that sexual urges develop out of love and lust. I think that would work better than fucking some random dude and hoping that you develop feelings for him.

[Max the Disenchanter]

you've just been conditioned by society that romance is between a man and woman