Is my ex stalking me online?

[teddyxen]

I dated a guy for six months about two years ago and he was very emotionally unstable, he was manipulative and emotionally abusive toward me during our relationship and after our breakup. Now two years later after finding out I've broken up with a nicer guy, he won't leave me alone. He has sent me numerous messages which I have ignored. He has tried to contact me on dating apps. He has been adding all of my friends on Facebook and even messaging one of my very close friends about an elaborate plan he has to get me back(when he knows I would never even talk to him in person and that I've made it very clear he makes me feel unsafe) I blocked him on instagram and he has now created a new profile so that he can access my photos. He sends me messages about how he wants me back and I tell him that he is making me feel very uncomfortable. Is there anything I can do about this like legally or? I'm very confused as to what counts as stalking because I haven't physically seen him in person in months. I'm also worried that I live independently now with roommates. I don't have my family to protect me from him knocking on my door.

[Tim the Enchanter]

I dated a guy for six months about two years ago and he was very emotionally unstable, he was manipulative and emotionally abusive toward me during our relationship and after our breakup. Now two years later after finding out I've broken up with a nicer guy, he won't leave me alone. He has sent me numerous messages which I have ignored. He has tried to contact me on dating apps. He has been adding all of my friends on Facebook and even messaging one of my very close friends about an elaborate plan he has to get me back(when he knows I would never even talk to him in person and that I've made it very clear he makes me feel unsafe) I blocked him on instagram and he has now created a new profile so that he can access my photos. He sends me messages about how he wants me back and I tell him that he is making me feel very uncomfortable. Is there anything I can do about this like legally or? I'm very confused as to what counts as stalking because I haven't physically seen him in person in months. I'm also worried that I live independently now with roommates. I don't have my family to protect me from him knocking on my door.

That guy sounds crazy, can't you get one of those restraining orders? If so, you should do that. I wish I could help you even more.

[BlackParadePixie]

definitely sounds like he is stalking you. I would save copies of any of his emails or messages and go file a police report...which I am assuming you can do in the UK.

[Tim the Enchanter]

I could protect you from that creep, just saying.

[Adarest]

I know in the USA you can get a restraining order, but Pixie is right, to file a report, you need physical evidence to give them. You should try it anyway, since he would be forced to stop.

[Stronk Serb]

Do it, get a restraining order and report him.

[Just JT]

Think it depends on where you live for a restraint order. It does here in the states. But yeah I’d at least file a report with the police. I’m sure they can advise you. If you know a cop maybe he can stop by and have a little “talk”with him to. Sometimes that works pretty good

[ImJulia]

That is not ok.

[BlackBike9]

Ask a lawyer about law and everything you need to do.

[teddyxen]

Hi Guys, it's the original poster here. I have an update on the situation. He left me alone for the last two months thankfully. However last night he parked his car outside my new house for over 4/5 hours. He should not have any way of knowing my address and I have no idea how he knows where I live now. He wasn't in the car, he was off doing something in the local area (an area he never hangs out in) but he left his car literally next to my bedroom window for hours, probably waiting for me to get home. He went out of his way to message one of my friends to then tell my roommate that he was parking outside of our house. My friend and roommate both know how unsafe he makes me feel and they also felt uncomfortable that he knew where our house was. He is very manipulative and often tells my friend things so that she will get back to me and he can make me uncomfortable. I feel genuinely scared to go back to my house tonight because as soon as I was told his car was outside I went to stay at my parents house. Any advice? I don't know if I can take legal action at this point

[Anniebanannie]

Can you call the police?

[SilverSM]

I advise you to call the police, keep screenshots of what he said to you and your friends so as to provide evidence, if he goes to your house again, take pictures of his car and license plate for further evidence

[SethfromMI]

call the police, bring as much evidence to them as you possibly can

[Stronk Serb]

Call the cops, try to get a restraining order. Quacks like that need to be put in line. I remember one of my exes being stalked like that. That intervention on my behalf ended bad for him.

[Uniquemind]

Everyone can be stalked really easily, it's a huge problem and the rise in cyber security flaws, private companies you pay to find info on someone you only have general info on already is really all you need nowadays.

You need a restraining order, you need to check all technological devices for spyware, and you need to stop ordering things online containing name and address and change your travel habits so as to be irregular.

If you work, inform your boss of what is going on, definitely rely on your parents.

If you've got a friend that owns a gun that will help greatly.


BUT ABOVE ALL! Call the police!!!!! It's already to the point where he's a few steps away from getting to you.

Do not confront him; and hire a body guard or a friend who doesn't mind house sitting with a firearm ready at all times free of charge.

Put sticky bookmark tabs on all of your doors and drawers so you know if someone's opened them while gone when you see the tab bent into the door/drawer frame.

Learn some self-defense moves of how to counter someone putting you in a choke hold that favors the female body gaining leverage against a larger male body type.

And mentally train yourself if it gets serious, have a game plan and an escape route should he violate any restraining orders.

If you need a complete friendly getaway to disappear I recommend Staying at an undisclosed hotel somewhere to disrupt patterns.

Stalkers look for patterns, he's probably 90% figured you out now.


In addition your roommates and friends also need to adopts these procedures as well because he'll stalk them too as they're a secondary resource to get to you.

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I've been stalked before, it isn't fun. My deepest empathy girl.


Last but not least, having evidence in an established organized timeline fashion is GREAT for filing a police report and then getting a restraining order on him made.

I'd also look into hiring a private investigator who can then stalk HIM in turn who can then communicate with you in real time to confirm or deny if he is indeed obeying his restraining order.