I don’t know what to do

[Rugby99]

I just got a girlfriend (my first) about 2 weeks ago. I don’t know how I feel about her. I love talking to her, texting her, etc. She has a pretty good personality and always makes me smile. She is the first person to really understand me and I care about her a lot. For some reason I just don’t feel attracted to her. I don’t feel a connection to her. I know she loves me a lot and has told all of her friends about me. I’m afraid to tell my friends and family about her and worry about what they will say. I know it’s a horrible thing to say and I shouldn’t care what other people think. I just don’t find her physically attractive. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid that other people will judge me for being with her (I feel like such a horrible person for thinking that). She keeps talking about how so many people hate her, I don’t know why. Maybe this is why I don’t want people knowing that we are together. I have no idea what to do.

[NewLeafsFan]

So just to make this clear there are two issues. You are not physically attracted to her and you do not want people to know that you are together.

Issue #1: Stay with her until your relationship turns physical. Once your with a girl sexually for the first time I bet you'll want to stay. Emotional connections are more important in the long run anyway.

Issue #2: I want you to give us more info on this and stop worrying that we will judge you. Is she insane, fat, ugly, in a wheelchair, of a different faith, do you have parents against dating at this age? You need to give me more to go on. I hope no one is offended by what i mentioned above, they are just a few reasons why some people might not want to go public.

Good luck and keep us updated!

[mick01]

If you are not physically attracted to her, I'm not sure that the relationship could work. There needs to be an attraction. Emotional attraction is important but that's only half of the equation.
It sounds like you would have a better friendship with her than a bf/gf thing. I think if you really respect her, and yourself, you need to be honest with her and tell her it's not working for you.

[refrigeratorx]

sometimes it develops over time. give it/her a chance and see where it goes. its just a relationship though, worse case its over at some point.

also uhh if this was such a problem for you, how did you get together in the first place???

[Just JT]

Sounds like youd be embarrassed if someone knew about this relationship. Which I really don’t understand.
Just how did this become a relationship with having no physical attraction?
I mean it’s not that there NEEDS to be but is usually the first th8ng that attracts 2 people together.

To me it sounds like she’s a really nice person. If your insecure about this relationship cause of how your gone be perceived or judged by others I’d say you might wana reconsider if your ready to be in a relationship like this.

Not trying to be rude to you about it but just feel that maybe your over your head here not sure what to do and having trouble with it. So maybe your really just not ready for this?

And you could explain that to her also

[jamie_n5]

Why did you become her boyfriend in the first place if you don't find her attractive? Are saying that she is homily or ugly? Why do you feel others will judge you negatively for going out with her? If you don't want to date her then it's time you be honest and tell her and break it off.

[ska8er]

Seems like u have a loss of self esteem
with this relationship-U might b thinking
that u r not good enough for her that is y
u feel embarrassed if anyone sees the two
of u. U r thinking that people r talking about
u. She likes u-keep seeing her til u get more
used to relating with each other. Forget what
people might b thinking and enjoy ur crush.

[Rugby99]

In my defense she pretty much catfished me. The pictures that she sent me were actually her but I think she photoshopped them. If you saw her and one of the pictures that she sent side by side you wouldn’t even think that they were the same person. The only reason that it has gotten this far is because I love talking to her. She understands me.

[Leena_2003]

If physical attraction is the only issue for you, and everything else is great, maybe just give it some time and see if you change your mind about that. Maybe try to do some physical things like kissing, holding hands, hugging, and other kinds of physical contact you feel it's okay to do. I hope the physical attraction will grow from there. But if you feel after a while that you tried your best and that it's never going to happen, then I think it's better you stop the relationship asap.