Virginity

[Max the Disenchanter]

Why is losing your virginity such a big deal?

[scott2002]

There has been a lot of discussion on VT about more than one kind of virginity (first time with a same-sex partner, and first time with an opposite sex partner, and what type of activity, too). But for "traditional" virginity, I think it is the ultimate adult sexual act (penetrating your penis into a girl's vagina and ejaculating, or for a girl, allowing a guy to penetrate your vagina and ejaculate inside of you). The very first time you do this, IMO it's the biggest step into real adulthood.

[SouthGeorgiaTeen]

Virginity is a big deal in many cultures. I assume that you're talking about why its a big deal among your peers. Loosing your virginity as a guy is a "big deal" because its what you need to do to become a MAN. Something that every boy wants to be. It kinda all goes back to superiority and all that good stuff.

[pauly]

Surely losing virginity is a bigger deal for a girl than a guy? After all, she is the one who could possibly get pregnant if she doesn't take precautions.

For a guy it's more to do with the feeling of reaching manhood. I still think it should be treated seriously because it's a big step to take for all sorts of reasons.

[Just JT]

Loosing your virginity as a guy is a "big deal" because its what you need to do to become a MAN. Something that every boy wants to be. It kinda all goes back to superiority and all that good stuff.

Sorry I disagree. Being able to have sex or have sex is NOT a qualifying guideline to becoming a man. Losing your virginity IS a qualifying event to proving you can be a sperm donor (depending on the kind of sex you’re talking about)

Someone 10 or 12 having losing your virginity dont mean he’s a man

Being a man is about being responsible, doing the right things, making good choices, knowing tight from wrong, and able to know and accept when you are wrong. Nothing about sex.

[SouthGeorgiaTeen]

Sorry I disagree. Being able to have sex or have sex is NOT a qualifying guideline to becoming a man. Losing your virginity IS a qualifying event to proving you can be a sperm donor (depending on the kind of sex you’re talking about)

Someone 10 or 12 having losing your virginity dont mean he’s a man

Being a man is about being responsible, doing the right things, making good choices, knowing tight from wrong, and able to know and accept when you are wrong. Nothing about sex.

I didn't mean it as that's what I believed it makes you a man. I was saying that's why its such a big deal with guys, because most guys think that's what makes you a man. I should have used "MAN" instead of MAN. My bad.

[mick01]

Its a big deal also because something you've been fantasizing about, and most likely masturbating to, has become a reality. You've experienced the real thing and know how amazing it can feel.

[Kevgpdx]

I think there are lots of reasons it is seen as a big deal. One of the reasons is that sex is seen as so adult by our society and people are always trying to "protect" kids/teens from it so adults and parents don't want us to see porn, talk about sex, and in some places they don't even want there to be sex education. So it is seen as this ultimate thing and if we have done it then we have crossed that line into adulthood. But even though I have had sex I think a lot of that is stupid society stuff and you should just do what you are comfortable with. There's nothing wrong with not having sex if you don't want to.

[Zachary G]

I think losing ones virginity is such a big deal because it means that we have started a new chapter in our lives. It means we are no longer that little boy/girl that we used to be back in elementary school.

[refrigeratorx]

its not a big deal at all. just a social construct. yes it is your first time doing some sort of penetration; cool. but it does not change you at all. you're going to have sex after that and itll feel just as good, probably better. It's definitely not an idea worth overthinking.

[Jake445]

It's not a big deal at all. just a social construct. yes, it is your first time doing some sort of penetration; cool. but it does not change you at all. you're going to have sex after that and it'll feel just as good, probably better. It's definitely not an idea worth overthinking.

While I haven't had sex yet, I also totally agree with this.

[scott2002]

I'm 16, and I'd say I spent most of 14 and 15 wondering if I'd EVER "convince a girl to let me do it to her." But now I realize it was more of a worry if I'd ever be sexually attractive enough to a girl that she's WANT to have sex with me. So maybe that's why losing your virginity (doing it that very first time) is so significant.

[jamie_n5]

I think it isn't a big deal to a lot of people on here. For me it was a big deal. I think that you should know someone well and love them before you have intercourse with them. Oral sex is a different thing.

[Jaffe]

Why is losing your virginity such a big deal?

That is a good question! I have wondered that many many times.

I think it is NOT as big a deal as most people seem to think.

[CuriousBoy15]

Because society tells us it is.

[INACTIVEchaosphere]

Why is losing your virginity such a big deal?
I honestly don't know, I suppose the first time is kind of a milestone in someone's life, for one reason or another, it's kind of revered, when it's usually something natural and normal.

[azurzg]

I think it is NOT as big a deal as most people seem to think.

I completely agree! I don't think it's a big deal.

[thecoolguy963]

Its not that big of a deal, its just that guys feel proud of the fact that they have lost it and brag about it to others and over time, everyone has the perception that its a big deal, when it actually isnt..

[mattsmith48]

Society tells us its a big deal but in reality its a big deal only if you decide to make it a big deal of it.