Too Much Info - Sharing and Honesty

[JuliaVT]

I'm really close to my sister (I'm 14, she's 15) and we talk about guys and sexual stuff all the time. A couple of weeks ago she told me she and her bf were going to try anal sex. I was like wow since we're both vag virgins. Anyway, on Saturday our parents were out and we were home so her bf came over. They went to her room, turned up some music and I did whatever. A while later I heard what sounded like my sister screaming. I kinda just reacted, ran to her room and opened the door. Not all the way, but enough to see and hear what was going on. I literally froze for a moment like OMG, but then realized that neither of them could see me, so I quietly closed the door again. Now I have a dilemma and a question. First, my sister and I share everything so should I tell her what happened or keep it to myself? I mean, I did try knocking first. And second, since I have a bf too, I'm wondering.... is the first time kinda like that for everyone or maybe she didn't prepare enough?

[amelia_]

Maybe you could mention it to her by saying you heard her and wanted to know she’s ok. I’ve heard that it does hurt if it’s too fast but idk.

[DanielleIU]

This is tough. I'd probably be inclined not to mention it, even though it was an honest and caring mistake. She might say it was an overreaction, or an intrusion, or something you knew was going to happen. But then you'll have to keep that secret to yourself indefinitely. If you do choose to tell her, make sure she understands that you were just worried about her. First time anal can be pretty painful, even if you do prep, use lube, go slowly, etc. so I don't think her vocal response was out of the ordinary.

[ChloeF]

lt's up to you but if you've gone a couple of weeks without mentioning it, it might be best to just let sleeping dogs lie.
As for anal, it's not something l've ever tried so whether it hurts or what kind of preparation is required, l'm not much help.

[EvaNL]

I agree with the girls above. It's been a couple of weeks and she hasn't brought it up herself, maybe it's good to let it be.
But if you're going to mention it, make sure she understands that you are/were worried and that you want her to be ok. You could mention first that you heard her cry, then wait for her reply and then tell her you opened the door to see if you were okay without realizing that you might be seeing something intimate.

Anal sex can be painful if not done correctly, especially the first time.

[LITTLEANGEL19]

Maybe you could mention it to her by saying you heard her and wanted to know she’s ok. I’ve heard that it does hurt if it’s too fast but idk.

I totally agree with Amelia you should say it to her and let her know that you were just looking out for her just as sisters or friends should do look out for each other. Anal sex is something I would NEVER consider.
Julia your sister is lucky to have you that cares.:yes:

[MissMolly]

I would let sleeping dogs lie, as Chloe said.

As for trying anal, it's something you have to really think about for yourself and really prepare yourself for, and it is something you and your guy need to have a really frank conversation about. Once was enough for me to last a lifetime.

[JuliaVT]

Thank you all for the advice. It turned out not to be such a big deal. As I expected, my sister shared the details with me the next night. She said it really hurt when her bf was entering and she screamed. When she said she was surprised I didn't hear her, I told her what happened.....that basically I did hear, was worried, knocked, and peeked in the room for a second to make sure she was okay. I think she was a bit surprised and maybe embarrassed, but not angry. I didn't mention anything about how long or what I saw, so it worked out fine. Regarding the anal experience, she said it hurt a lot going in, then was just uncomfortable most of the time. She called it a strange feeling that hurts and feels kinda good all at the same time. But she has no regrets and wants to do it again. I'm going to see how that goes for her before I consider trying it tho. Thanks again!

Molly...... is that kinda what you were talking about too?

[Mjtorres13]

Nice that you talk to her about that just one quick question you didn’t get exited when talk about sex

[JuliaVT]

Of course it can be very exciting talking about sex and our bodies. It's very nice having a sis that's close in age, since we're kinda going thru puberty together. We learn from each other and from places like this. Talking about her last experience was very exciting, cause I know my sister did it and I may someday soon too. But it was also hard to hear that she was in pain, too, so I was happy for her and a little sad too I guess.

[KatieCO2003]

Regarding the anal experience, she said it hurt a lot going in, then was just uncomfortable most of the time. She called it a strange feeling that hurts and feels kinda good all at the same time. But she has no regrets and wants to do it again. I'm going to see how that goes for her before I consider trying it tho. Thanks again!
[/QUOTE]

Anal is one of those wierd things that most girls either like, or don't. Your sister's description sounds 100% accurate. I haven't tried it with a guy yet, but it can hurt a lot if you try too much too fast. And I imagine that's what was going on. Seems pretty easy for a guy to go in too fast since they can't feel what we feel. But, if anal turns out to be your thing and you like the rather unusual sensation, then it can be amazing.

[amelia_]

Regarding the anal experience, she said it hurt a lot going in, then was just uncomfortable most of the time. She called it a strange feeling that hurts and feels kinda good all at the same time. But she has no regrets and wants to do it again. I'm going to see how that goes for her before I consider trying it tho. Thanks again!


Anal is one of those wierd things that most girls either like, or don't. Your sister's description sounds 100% accurate. I haven't tried it with a guy yet, but it can hurt a lot if you try too much too fast. And I imagine that's what was going on. Seems pretty easy for a guy to go in too fast since they can't feel what we feel. But, if anal turns out to be your thing and you like the rather unusual sensation, then it can be amazing.[/QUOTE]

I agree, doing something with a guy is much different than by yourself so he has to be more careful. Plus sometimes the guy might not stop or be gentle if it hurts.

[DanielleIU]

Regarding the anal experience, she said it hurt a lot going in, then was just uncomfortable most of the time. She called it a strange feeling that hurts and feels kinda good all at the same time. But she has no regrets and wants to do it again. I'm going to see how that goes for her before I consider trying it tho. Thanks again!


Anal is one of those wierd things that most girls either like, or don't. Your sister's description sounds 100% accurate. I haven't tried it with a guy yet, but it can hurt a lot if you try too much too fast. And I imagine that's what was going on. Seems pretty easy for a guy to go in too fast since they can't feel what we feel. But, if anal turns out to be your thing and you like the rather unusual sensation, then it can be amazing.[/QUOTE]

Totally agree that it can feel amazing, though very different than vaginal. And yes, girls either seem to like it or they don't, but I think there's a reason for that. The first time can be pretty painful no matter how much you prep because it's new and scary and hard to relax. The next one or two times are better, but can still be a bit uncomfortable. It's not till you get past that point that it really starts to feel amazing. So for girls who only try it once or twice -- especially if the guy doesn't go slow -- they're not going to like it. It's like a certain threshold you have to cross, and some girls never reach it.

[Nicole4All]

So glad everything worked out between you and your sister! You are very lucky to have someone you can share so much with. It really helps all of us who rely on this site for info. I got very close to having anal with my ex bf, but parted ways with him first. Starting to get intimate with my new boy now and feel very close to him and it's a next step I think I'd like to take. So I guess I'm in the same place as others here, including you. I think it's something you have to be physically and mentally and emotionally prepared for. Maybe not 100% there yet, but working on it. I know it may hurt at first, but eventually expecting it to feel amazing too.

[Cangirl]

Anal is one of those wierd things that most girls either like, or don't. Your sister's description sounds 100% accurate. I haven't tried it with a guy yet, but it can hurt a lot if you try too much too fast. And I imagine that's what was going on. Seems pretty easy for a guy to go in too fast since they can't feel what we feel. But, if anal turns out to be your thing and you like the rather unusual sensation, then it can be amazing.

Totally agree that it can feel amazing, though very different than vaginal. And yes, girls either seem to like it or they don't, but I think there's a reason for that. The first time can be pretty painful no matter how much you prep because it's new and scary and hard to relax. The next one or two times are better, but can still be a bit uncomfortable. It's not till you get past that point that it really starts to feel amazing. So for girls who only try it once or twice -- especially if the guy doesn't go slow -- they're not going to like it. It's like a certain threshold you have to cross, and some girls never reach it.[/QUOTE]


exactly this :)

and I think its better that she knows you peeked to see if she was ok especially if you and her are close. maybe she screamed louder than she wanted to just so you'd hear and come rescue her? idk its a thought right? but its great she likes it and wants to try again. you and her could also start doing some anal masturbating to see if you like it too.

[ImJulia]

Do people really find pleasure from anal? It always seemed gross to me. I guess i should not hate on something i have never tried.

[evgenia]

The only thing I would like to add is that the anus is for one thing, and one thing only ...

[LITTLEANGEL19]

The only thing I would like to add is that the anus is for one thing, and one thing only ...
I totally agree the anus and sexual pleasure is something I would NEVER consider.

[Mollypop]

A lot of people get pleasure from it. Not everyone though.

[ImJulia]

I never really thought about it but now I am intrigued

[DanielleIU]

I went through a lot of these same thought processes when I first considered anal. Is it gross, is it normal, will it be pleasurable or will it hurt. Like all of us, I wanted the intimacy without the risk (of pregnancy). At the time, it seemed like a good solution. I knew it would hurt at first, but was willing to bear that. It turned out to be a good decision for me. Yes, it is amazingly pleasurable now, and it's never been gross. But as I said earlier, it takes a bit of perseverance, along with a caring partner.

As for your sister screaming, I'd say it was likely genuine and not a ploy to rescue her. Her experience sounds similar to mine and I can assure you, a rescue was not on her mind at that moment, and if she wanted to stop she would have done so.

[Mjtorres13]

I never really thought about it but now I am intrigued

Did you and your sister ever masturbate at the same time in the room

[TessTheGreat]

I don't think you should mention it. If she didn't like doing it she probably won't do it again anyway.

[ImJulia]

[QUOTE=Danielle15;3596260]I went through a lot of these same thought processes when I first considered anal. Is it gross, is it normal, will it be pleasurable or will it hurt. Like all of us, I wanted the intimacy without the risk (of pregnancy). At the time, it seemed like a good solution. I knew it would hurt at first, but was willing to bear that. It turned out to be a good decision for me. Yes, it is amazingly pleasurable now, and it's never been gross. But as I said earlier, it takes a bit of perseverance, along with a caring partner.
How old were you the first time?

[DanielleIU]

I was 15.

[ImJulia]

Oh wow you started young. I am kind of intrigued, might have to try it out next time I have some alone time

[Shiny Moon]

I love it and yeah the first time can hurt a lot if not done the right way.

[ImJulia]

Well I officially tried playing back there last night

[LilLena]

Well I officially tried playing back there last night

How did it feel like?

[ImJulia]

How did it feel like?

It kinda tickled lol. Kinda liked it

[amelia_]

It kinda tickled lol. Kinda liked it

feels the same for me. I usually gotta do it both ways though. just playing back there doesn’t do it for me.

[ImJulia]

Ya I agree

[DanielleIU]

Oh wow you started young. I am kind of intrigued, might have to try it out next time I have some alone time

For me, it was the right decision at the right time. We were at a point where we both wanted penetration, but I didn't trust only condoms for bc and that's all we had access to. I sure didn't want to get P. So I think we were old enough to be smart about it.

[ImJulia]

For me, it was the right decision at the right time. We were at a point where we both wanted penetration, but I didn't trust only condoms for bc and that's all we had access to. I sure didn't want to get P. So I think we were old enough to be smart about it.

Did you wear a condom for anal or no

[JuliaVT]

UPDATE: It's been a few weeks now and my sis and I are more comfortable with each other than ever. I think being honest and knowing I care about her (and vice versa) has made us closer. Anyway, she has had anal twice more already and says it gets easier and better each time. She said it still always hurts somewhat at first, but no more screaming pain! And that it's a strange, good feeling but she's just starting to get comfortable and confident with it. So she likes it. She knows I've been practicing for it, so I'll have a good coach! Thanks for all the posts. It's so nice to be able to share and support here.

[Nikki_1]

I think I would let her bring up the subject first, that would be better because the focus would be on her and her boyfriend and it would be easier to talk about it then if she wanted too.
Anal is not my thing to be honest, I don't judge people and if they like to do it well, thats fine but personally I cant see the point!!!

[ImJulia]

Good to hear that you guys are so close.

[deepthroat_tacos]

Do people really find pleasure from anal? It always seemed gross to me. I guess i should not hate on something i have never tried.

It feels absolutely amazing!

[ImJulia]

It feels absolutely amazing!
Ya I have since done it to myself

[Cangirl]

For me, it was the right decision at the right time. We were at a point where we both wanted penetration, but I didn't trust only condoms for bc and that's all we had access to. I sure didn't want to get P. So I think we were old enough to be smart about it.

yeah it can hurt a lot the first times and gets better the more you do it. But it can also hurt a lot if he goes in to fast even if youve done it more than a few times.
And its also a huge bonding and closeness feeling to because its kinda more taboo. other huge bonus is no babies :)

[DanielleIU]

Totally agree that it's a huge closeness and bonding feeling. It's a very intimate and personal act. For that reason alone, do your best to get privacy and take your time, especially at first. And yeah, if it's your first time, you may get vocal -- like Julia's sis (and me), and you really don't want a sibling (or parent!) at the door.

Regarding condoms, that was a difficult decision for us. Conventional wisdom would say to always use a condom to prevent STDs and pregnancy, and that's the right approach. CanGirl is right, you can't get pregnant from anal sex (unless you're extremely careless....that is, fluids can theoretically travel down from one place to another). So if you decide against condoms, it's wise to use the position that eliminates the gravitational threat, which is the most intimate anyway.

[Miss Ophelia]

The only thing I would like to add is that the anus is for one thing, and one thing only ...

I agree with this. It doesnt interest me at all sexually.

[DanielleIU]

I agree with this. It doesnt interest me at all sexually.

I totally respect this point of view, and comments I've heard that it seems "unnecessary." It does take some time to get comfortable just with the idea of it. But anyone who's tried it knows it's a totally different feeling, one that can be incredibly pleasurable. It adds another dimension to sexuality, just like masturbation or touching or oral add different dimensions. And it's not at all unusual for anyone going through puberty to be curious about. Personally I'm glad I discovered it.

[Alexis16]

Dont have any experience with this but Id say if she hasnt brought it up, its probably best not to say anything

[MusicAndABook]

I'm happy it worked out with your sister :)
Anal is something that can feel amazing (blushes) but you and your bf really need to talk about it first. I agree with the other comments, girls either like it or they don't. Even more than vaginal, you and your muscles need to be relaxed, and you need to be in the head space for it or it just won't work. It also takes a few tries and learning how to relax those muscles. A good goal for the first time might be seeing if he can get any of it in without it being too uncomfortable. Don't worry about any more than that until later. Best of luck!!

[MusicAndABook]

I didn't realize there was a second page before commenting. That's awesome it's going so well for your sister. Danielle is right, it might be rough at first, but it gets better. Condoms seem to get messed up easily because it's so tight. There's risks of STDs, but you definitely won't get pregnant lol. And if there's something going on in the front, it's a lot less unconfortable.

[NudistFun]

I never really thought about it but now I am intrigued

It can definitely be fun. Just the supposed taboo of it is exciting and different. A few things though!

Your partner has to be kind and gentle. You don't want some boy just shoving his penis in your ass. You need to be really turned on and lubed up... and some boys, in my opinion, are just too big for anal.

A few summers ago one of the guys I know wanted to try it. When I saw him hard I was like "UHHH NOPE!!!:eek:"

[ImJulia]

It can definitely be fun. Just the supposed taboo of it is exciting and different. A few things though!

Your partner has to be kind and gentle. You don't want some boy just shoving his penis in your ass. You need to be really turned on and lubed up... and some boys, in my opinion, are just too big for anal.

A few summers ago one of the guys I know wanted to try it. When I saw him hard I was like "UHHH NOPE!!!:eek:"

I have tried it myself while masturbating but Idk if I would let a guy in there.

[NudistFun]

I have tried it myself while masturbating but Idk if I would let a guy in there.

Haha, choose the guy wisely if you do!:yeah:

[ImJulia]

Haha, choose the guy wisely if you do!:yeah:
most definitely