Boyfriend Kissed Mutual Friend

[CatGoesMeow]

So my boyfriend of almost 5 months told me Friday night (17th of November) that he had kissed a friend of ours a few nights before. I'd had a feeling she had a crush on him and he confirmed that she did as well as telling me that he started liking her a little more than just a friend about a month ago when she went to his house so he could help her fix something. He told me "(the kiss) just happened but after I started to realize things and I knew what I did was wrong".

He hasn't stopped apologizing to me since he told me as well as saying that he "fucked up big time" and that he "knows (he) can't do anything to take it back or make it better"

He also knows I have depression and that partly because of that, as well as some events from my past, I already have a really hard time trusting people and he told me that he "will try his hardest to get it back and won't fuck up again"

Once someone is actually able to gain my trust and lower my walls I really do trust them, and because of that I told him I didn't want to break up with him and that I was willing to give him a second chance. Ever since I met him he's helped me get through so much (especially with my depression) and I can honestly say that he's been there for me when I needed someone most out of everyone I've come across in my life. We've had our disagreements in the past but we've always been able to work through them.

I'm just wondering if I made the right decision or if I'm leading myself down a stupid path with a stupid choice? I know the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" but despite the pain I'm feeling from all this, I don't want to break up with him and I do believe it can work out. I know it's gonna take a lot of time but part of me does really believe what he says.

[NewLeafsFan]

I think that you need to stop second guessing yourself. The more you do it will be harder for the two of you to move on from this issue. Your boyfriend clearly has an abundance of excellent qualities that you have mentioned including the honesty factor since he told you about it after.

I've always believed that anyone can screw up once but if it happens again you need to be emotionally prepared to leave him. I really hope that it works out for the two of you. Just make sure that you aren't solely emotionally dependent on him in case it doesn't. Good Luck!!!

[mick01]

He sounds like he's worth a second chance. But if there are any other incidences, my trust in him would be done.

[Just JT]

People make mistakes in life. And sometimes it’s hard t9 forgive people if at all
I think this is forgivable imo
The key thing isn’t he told you about it pretty much right away. He knew it was wrong right away. And he seems pretty honest about it. He learned something about himself, and you, and that is he doesn’t wana lose you.

If he didn’t tell you, or proceeded further and started cheating on you that’s different. But in the moment, he slipped,hormones in boys during our teen years make us do shit like that.

He learned

[Uniquemind]

If it stopped at a kiss only. Forgivable.

But be prepared for the worst.

[CatGoesMeow]

Thank you and yes, I am prepared for the worst.

Earlier this evening I had a talk with a mutual friend of ours who has informed me of some new information that, honestly, has now put her in a much more negative perspective to me.

I have ultimately decided that, as much as it hurts me to do this, I am telling him that because at this moment in time I don't feel that I can begin to successfully move on from this (as we've both said to each other that we'd like to do) unless he ceases contact with her. I told him I understand that they've been friends for a while now and I've also told him that this doesn't necessarily have to be for the rest of time and that it's mainly so that we can begin to move forward. I told him he doesn't have to decide right now but that I'd like for him to reach a decision in the next few days. He told me he doesn't want to lose a friend and hurt her but he knows its what I need for us (him and me) not for him to hurt her, but for them to stop talking , so I believe he understands what I'm telling him.

Honestly, this has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with in my life, but I'm hoping for the best.