I cheated twice on my bf and do not feel bad

[deepthroat_tacos]

The title says it all really. Am I bad person? Has anyone else have experience with cheating?

Even in hindsight I enjoyed the thrill of it.

[mick01]

I don't think it's very cool to cheat on someone. And so, you're not being a good person. And if you're cheating multiple times, and will continue to cheat, you need to be fair to your bf and break up. It's pretty shitty to be so deceitful.

[xXl0sth0peXx]

I think that Mick's reply sums this up pretty well honestly. How would you feel if you were on the receiving end of it and you found out? That the person you loved, trusted, and gave your all to was cheating on you? It's not very fair to him, and while I don't necessarily think that it makes you a bad person, but I think that it's a bad decision and I think that it sets you up for a lot of trouble down the line. Quit while you're ahead man. It doesn't seem like you really are into your boyfriend, and before it becomes something too much, or he finds out from other people, put an end to either him, or the cheating.

[PlasmaHam]

As above, I am not condemning you here, your standing is up to you to determine. However, in all respect, if you wish to continue going around with different guys, then break up with your boyfriend. There is no righteous reason to persue a relationship with someone if you are just going to keep cheating on them. Since you are cheating on him, it sounds like y'all aren't that much close anyway. It would be best for both you and him. Deceit is never a good route to persue, especially in a relationship.

[yeehaw]

I don't think I could've said it any better than the posters above me. If you cheat and don't feel bad, why are you still together? And imagine if he's cheated on you more times, would you be upset?

[NewLeafsFan]

You're admitting that you did a terrible thing! And now instead of dealing with a chaotic situation that you've created and seem very happy with, you're gonna ask us if that makes you a bad person. I don't think I've ever seen a more self centered post!

I'm going to ignore the "am i a bad person" question and tell you straight because i don't believe in sugar coating facts. You owe it to your bf to tell him and explain that you don't feel badly. Maybe once you've been dumped and this starts to effect you negatively you will start to feel badly about what you've done.

Regardless of how your bf feels you are clearly not meant to be with him.

[Uniquemind]

I'm not going to claim you're a bad person, but what you are doing is of a carnal and base nature.

While indulging in the base and instinctual, it is not interesting to explore whether you are good or bad, but rather why you are seeking the thrills you are seeking.

Once you know your own internal justification which is fueling the decisions you are making, which carry their own risks to your health and well-being, you might be able to answer your own question.

--


If however you are uninterested in exploring your own internal personal justification at a detailed level, I will go as far as to say you are practicing bad epistemology; which might make you a bad and vulnerable person, and susceptible to manipulation by others.

Food for thought.


And towards the general chat responders, I'd like to add that I recently attended a funeral of a close family friend of the generation of my grandmother's who passed away. Due to gossip, I happen to know that the elderly family friend's spouse was a serial cheater and gambler and put a lot of stress on that side of the extended family. But that couple stayed together and happily raised 6 kids.

So cheating is bad, but the person doing the cheating isn't inherently bad, their just doing a bad thing that needs it's justification and reasons as to why they're doing that to be looked at.

[Just JT]

If you wana be with other or multiple sexual partners that’s your choice. And I don’t think that in itself makes you a “bad person”. That’s just who you are and what you like.

Being in an “exclusive” kinda relationship can be really cool to. Even havin an open relationship imo is ok to so long as all people are in the relationship are cool with it

But being in an “exclusive” relationship and cheating, AND not feeling bad about it? No, that’s just wrong and you don’t belong or deserve to be with your bf. It’s just not fair to him.

He (assuming) is not cheating on you. And that’s fair. He deserves better and more than he’s getting from you. And once he finds out, good luck getting future bf in the future. Cause me?
I wouldn’t touch that.

[jamie_n5]

I don't believe in or would not tolerate cheating at all.

[SethfromMI]

My girlfriend of two years thought it would be no big deal to cheat on me. She didn't think that after I broke up with her. I am careful in trying not to call anyone a bad person, but that being said what you have done is indeed a pretty despicable thing. If you don't love the person you are with enough to be faithful to them then it is time to break up with them. They deserve better than that

[Jinglebottom]

What's the point in being in a relationship with someone if you're just going to cheat on them multiple times then? Seriously? Jesus

[Uniquemind]

What's the point in being in a relationship with someone if you're just going to cheat on them multiple times then? Seriously? Jesus

My girlfriend of two years thought it would be no big deal to cheat on me. She didn't think that after I broke up with her. I am careful in trying not to call anyone a bad person, but that being said what you have done is indeed a pretty despicable thing. If you don't love the person you are with enough to be faithful to them then it is time to break up with them. They deserve better than that

I think what makes cheating bad, is the bait-n-switch in what is foundationally promised or implied at the beginning of the relationship in regards to mutual loyalty and devotion.

If at the onset, a open or multi-partner sexual relationship is made clear, then that's a niche caveat, and the bigger concern is emotional support being divided up, and biological pathogens std's, sti's, spreading to either partner.


I just wanted to add this commentary because in some conversations regarding this topic, the concept of monogamy has been used negatively, so as to it's origins in patriarchy and can also been overtly controlling upon ones journey to explore a widening sexual curiosity both emotionally, socially and physically

[messid]

The title says it all really. Am I bad person? Has anyone else have experience with cheating?

Even in hindsight I enjoyed the thrill of it.

may as well break up with him...its for the best......also it sounds like maybe you should be in like an open relationship instead

[Uniquemind]

may as well break up with him...its for the best......also it sounds like maybe you should be in like an open relationship instead

You bring up a good point, however I think people who would prefer an open relationship don't, simply because the population that practices open relationships without shame, limits a person to the partners they can experience in any sense at all.

So these types of people resort to cheating in closed relationships so as to not immediate be detected breaking a social taboo, and get their access to the main population for datability and not be limited.

So that's what I think happens in a cheater's mind even if unconsciously. Is it disrespectful, sure it is a consent issue and is a type of predation in my opinion. But I'm just explaining human nature here I'm not here to judge it, only to break it down and hopefully explain it thoughtfully.

[SouthGeorgiaTeen]

You should talk to him about it, see if he's into an open relationship. Its better than him finding out from someone else. Betrayal isn't good for the spirit.
Id advise telling him in a public place so that if he does think about turning violent he wont.

[The Stalwart]

I’m not going to call anyone a bad person, but we all need to discern our priorities. If you cheated on your bf and feel good about it, I think you owe it to him to break up with him so he can move on. I dated a girl for half a year when I learned she gave another guy a bj. That’s rough.

[teddyxen]

I don't think you're a bad person, people have their reasons for the bad things they do. But if you say you don't feel guilty about it, that just shows you're not really invested in your boyfriend. You don't really care about the consequences, if you did you wouldn't have cheated in the first place/told him straight away after the first time. I think you should break up with him, it's the best thing for both of you.

[Stronk Serb]

As a person who got cheated on, I can say that it's a terrible thing. Still, I will not judge. What you need to ask yourself is why did you cheat on him? What made such a distance between you two for you to do such a thing?

[Gamer98]

Dick move

[Lillynet]

well if you dont realy feel any guilty about it then you dont really have feelings about your bf and i think its beter to broke up with him and keep doing one night stands or what ever you want or if you cant be loyal to someome dont have relationships have fu-ck buddies or one night stands :) it will be better for oyu and for the guys that they dont invest in your love

[Leena_2003]

All I can say I'm glad I'm not your boyfriend. Nobody deserves to have a cheater of a girlfriend like you.

[ImJulia]

That is not cool